Hello stunningly gorgeous friends, acquaintances, and foes (foes are always watching my every move). I want to introduce you to a project I have been working on for--what feels like--a lifetime: In-State.
Our journey begins with me as a baby. Picture what I look like now, but smaller and smellier (hard to imagine, I know). As a kid, my mom worked nights, so she wasn't around to stop me from watching inappropriate content on TV. This resulted in a nightly binge of Adult Swim cartoons. I would plop down in front of the TV, and funnel endless episodes of Family Guy, American Dad, Futurama, Home Movies, and Venture Bros. into my impressionable eye holes. So, if you've ever wondered why I am the way that I am, this is why.
FLASH FORWARD: I am a junior in college. I've spent the last three years destroying my brain with substances. The only two brain cells I have left are dedicated to adult cartoons and being a degenerate. So, I wrote an adult cartoon about being a degenerate.
In-State is a show about college, high school, friendship, drinking, and being chased by wild hogs. Sounds interesting, right? Well then let me tell you more.
The hero (I use that term loosely) of our story is Helen. Helen Miracle Oftroy (voiced by the sexy and talented Cat Heinen). She is a lonely high school girl who's ready to make a big splash at school her junior year. After a long summer of being sexually harassed by her boss and chased down by violent, wild hogs (see photo below), she's prepared to leave her weird self behind and become Chester High's newest popular girl!
As you can imagine, though, her attempts at popularity do not go as planned. I mean, after you've been traumatized for three months by wild hogs, how can one go back to the humdrum routine of high school, am I right, ladies? Anyway, Helen sees a flyer at school advertising COLLEGE TOUR DAY at the local CHESTER UNIVERSITY (100% acceptance rate).
At Chester U, we meet the rest of our lovable cast of characters:
- Dani "Beef" Armstrong (a small and angry goth girl, voiced by ME Lincoln Anderson).
- Chase Shapiro (a know-it-all rich kid who could probably go to a better school if he did fewer drugs, voiced by Dylan Lanham).
- Sydney Grosswiener (a big lug, probably the nicest one of the bunch, but only because he doesn't know better, voiced by Eric Palmer).
When Helen takes a tour of the college, she quickly becomes the target of a mean prank orchestrated by Sydney, Beef, and Chase. Much to Beef and Chase's dismay, Sydney's role in the prank goes awry when he starts to feel bad for Helen (mostly because she's pretty). Beef and Chase think it's weird and annoying that Sydney wants to hang out with some loser high schooler, so they concoct a new plan: getting Helen to embarrass herself after one too many drinks at the local bar. How does she get into the bar without a fake ID? Because nobody cares! Look around! There are literal BABIES at this bar! See, no plot holes here, buddy. This script is rock solid.
Anyway, I don't wanna spoil the end, but basically this show is pretty heartfelt and awesome. So you can imagine some fun shenanigans ensue. Beef and Chase eventually come around to Helen after they discover some unique skills she learned last summer. The moral of the story? Don't change who you are to fit in, because the right people will love you for who you really are :)
So, where does your support come in? Paying for the animation, of course!
My roommate, best friend, love of my life, and talented illustrator GRANT CLARK will be the head of animation on this project. We just bought him this sick nasty tablet for his computer, and he's just itching to use it. But the thing is, this will need to be his full time job (because he's such a hard worker and he's so handsome and smart). SO, I. Need. Money. To. Pay. Him!!
What are we shooting for? 20k, because that's what he deserves. BUT, whatever amount we are able to raise will be put toward producing however much of the show we can get! If we get 6k, you'll get 10 minutes of the show. If you want more show? You gotta give me more money. That's just how it works babes. Soz. Here's a picture of me and Grant, for reference (or, just, enjoyment, I guess).
Cute, right? Well, thank you for reading this whole thing. We will be updating this page regularly with artwork, animation, funny jokes, things that annoy me throughout the day, mean stuff people said to me, more pictures of me and grant drinking, etc.. It's basically gonna be my diary. Teehee. Just kidding. This is all business. Business ONLY.
Please give me money! You won't regret it. Once this project is complete, I'm gonna buy a bus stop ad. So we're basically on the path to fame and fortune. PLEASE GIVE ME MONEY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.