Inpatient Trauma Rehabilitation

Three years ago I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder aka PTSD (non combat related/non military related) . Six years ago I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. The last few years have been spent trying to navigate through this heavy forest. Five years ago I was prescribed prozac and am now on the highest dose I can go. I feel like the medication is not doing anything for me anymore. As my dark thoughts and suicidal idealizations start creeping back I realize that I need to do something. For the last couple of years I have been saving for a house but I realize now that I need to use that money to get into an extensive inpatient trauma rehabilitation. As I look up the prices of these long term facilities even with insurance it doesn’t seem possible. I need a safe place where I can get off these meds and adjust to new ones if need be. I need a safe place where I can openly talk about my dark thoughts without being shunned. I need a safe place where I can finally unleash and heal. I need around the clock care. I need to be around professionals and unfortunately this is America. Professionals give you their best when they are being paid right. If you know me, you know this has been a constant battle I’ve struggled with forever. I tend to be resilient… I eat right, I exercise, I go to therapy, I take my meds, and I do everything I can to stay on top of this illness. Just when I think I’ve got it down to a science I am falling into a dark scary place again. I have an amazing support system and I am lucky I have something to start with. I am scared, scared that if I don’t get the help I need I will wind up dead, on the streets, or just too far gone. If you know how getting help for mental health works, you know this is much more than a 72 hour hold, a call to the national suicide hotline, late night talks with a buddy, or a prayer. If you know me, you know I have exhausted all my resources before publicly asking for help. I know most of us have families to feed and work hard for our money. I will not take it personal but please share. Anything helps… when I say anything, any amount. A couple of cents, a dollar, I am in need. I don’t have a set facility in mind yet but I would like to stay 30 days and on average it is 1000 per day. I’ve stayed silent for too long and today that changes.