Indie Floyd Hill was born sleeping December 16, 2017. Her pregnancy was perfect and healthy until it wasn't. At 38 weeks she went to sleep and never woke up. At the hospital, waiting to deliver, we were in total shock and had no idea what had just happened and what to expect. We didn't know what kind of shape her body would be in, would she look okay? Would we be able to hold her and kiss her? Could we still dress her or swaddle her? So many huge questions, that I didn't even know how to ask.
Then she was born and she was silent but beautiful. It wasn't the birth story that I had imagined for us, it was truly heartbreaking. She was so fragile, more than most newborns. Because her body had no life, I was a little nervous holding her, afraid I'd break her. The nurses had later informed us that we were unable to dress Indie because her skin was "starting to slip".. I was horrified. Her beautiful body was starting to deteriorate. Death is cruel to the body, even to small beautiful angels. The skin becomes cool, their color soon changes and the tiny lips darken.
We spent 11 hours and 20 minutes with our firstborn, Indie. We read to her and sang to her, we cuddled her and even gave her a haircut. We invited family and some close friends to come and meet our daughter. My doctor and nurses had told me that we could stay as long as we wanted. They had offered to put Indie "on ice" to help preserve her body, if we needed or wanted to put her down for a bit. That hurt, I didn't want to put my baby on ice..it felt so insensitive and cold. But I know, it was all they had to offer me.
The time went by so quickly, we were soaking up all of it. Hours past and I could see her body starting to change. I wanted to stop it, I wanted more time with her. That last hour we spent with her, she had changed so much. Her skin was dark and she was so cold (Ugh it hurts, It hurts writing that!!!). I didn't want to remember her that way, but I wasn't prepared to leave her there. It was the hardest decision of my life, knowing when to say goodbye to my baby.
Her first birthday is fast approaching and she's not going to be here for it, we've been thinking about something we could do in memory of her and also for other babies and families like her and like us. We are trying to raise money to purchase and donate a device called Caring Cradle to Greer Memorial Hospital's Labor and Delivery department. The Caring Cradle is an all inclusive device allowing bereaved parents and family more time with an infant who has passed. We need these in our hospitals!!! When I think of medical donations I usually think of things that help keep people's physical bodies alive, this is something different. I think its more like something to help keep a family alive. When you have a stillborn it's like you have to squeeze an entire lifetime of love and memories into a few hours, this donation can give those families a few more hours, even days, to kiss their baby more, to hold them for a little longer, to make a few more memories.
Caring Cradle - SOBBS
Caring Cradle FB
If you have any questions about the Caring Cradle donation, Feel free to message us and share this with your friends & family!!!
Brianna & Dustin Hill
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