In Memory of Libby Rogers - A Serenity Memorial

In Memory of Elisabeth "Libby Rogers," Beloved Mother

1949 - 2024

Losing a parent to suicide is an unbearable pain far outside of language. When it’s a mother, it’s like the whole order of the universe implodes. Mom wrestled with this my entire life, and indeed, even before my birth. I don’t know if it’s more appropriate to say I failed my mom or my child. She was both to me. I’m not going to hide how she died; suicide isn’t something to shame her for, and I’ve always believed de-stigmatizing the topic could have prevented this somehow.

On Friday, May 10, 2024, Mom ended her life by jumping off a cliff in Colorado National Park; I don’t share this because of its gruesomeness but for the sake of compassion — I can’t stop thinking about how scared she must have been; she was always so afraid of heights. I can’t sleep, I can’t hold food down, I can’t even say my heart aches because it’s my entire body. I always loved the mountains — but I never want to see one again. Knowing this was inevitable does not make it any easier.

Instead I choose to see her as brave enough to find her freedom in whatever way she could.

My mother was a deeply complex, beautiful, and humble soul who finally has the wings an angel deserves; never a materialistic person, the only thing she ever mentioned wanting after her death was a park bench engraved with her name. I will forever regret my inability to save her life. While this will never bring back my mother, I hope to honor her memory and find some sense of peace by giving one last present to a compassionate, empathetic, troubled, and infinitely loving woman who deserved far more than the world that failed her.

I am raising funds to dedicate a park bench in her name located in Wichita, Kansas - where she raised my brother and I, and where she will be greatly missed by so many friends, former students, and family members. This fundraiser's target aims to cover travel expenses from California to my hometown, as well the associated costs of her memorial bench.

Time does not heal all wounds; some losses we never get over. You are irreplaceable, always were, always will be. In the (slightly altered) words of your favorite baby book, “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always. As long as I’m living, my Mommy you’ll be.” Be at peace now; rest easy, beautiful soul, my beloved mother.

Park Bench Memorial Information