I prayed for this day to never happen, I imagined you recovering and re-starting your life, finding God, setting new goals, dreams and purposes, being happy again and being part of Ethan's life. This is to devastating, too painful and too heartbreaking. I don't know how or what to feel, nor what words 

to say.

 

I don't want your bad actions or behavior to be the last thing people wi

ll remember you for, because you were bright, smart and extra friendly, you could even start a conversation with any stranger in the streets. You had a beautiful heart and I know your intentions were always good. You were always down for crazy things and being outdoors was your second nature. You were never scared to test gravity or to do something out of your comfort zone. You were always ready for road trips while blasting the radio station to some old songs. You were pretty talented and your writing was the best way to get to know your soul. You were always ready to help others in any way you could. I know you changed and touched other people lives, you changed mine, and in the process you gave me the most beautiful baby boy. You were so goofy and sometimes it was like dealing with a toddler. You had that evil crazy smile when you were about to do something that you were not supposed to. There are so many good things I could say about but the most important of them all is that you loved your little guy and I am sure you will be taking care and watching over him, like you promised you would always do.

 

I still cant believe that you are gone, still can't put the pieces together or understand why things had to end this way. I pray and hope you didn't leave this world hating me, and I pray for you to understand the reasons why I had to move and be away from you, and even though we were no longer together, this hurts to much you were part of my life for 6 years and I will always cherish all the good moments that I got to share with you.

 

I will raised Ethan with love, and will always remind him of your love for him. I know that you wont be present for thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays, firsts days of school or teaching him how to drive but knowing how stubborn you are, I know you will find a way to be there.

 

I know you are in a better place now, a peaceful place where there is not more internal battles to fight, where all the pain in your soul is gone, there is nothing else to worried, so rest in peace blue heaven sky. I will forever have you in my prayers, will forever smile at your memory and you will forever have a home in my heart. Thank you for the good and the bad, please take care of our baby boy anyway you can.

 

Bye Honey!

 

 

 

 

 

This took me by surprise so I was not ready to deal with the cost of planning a funeral, any way you can help us, we really appreciate it. As soon as I have the information for his funeral arrangements I will be posting it.

Thank you