Mary Pagaling Bustillo Memorial Fund

“My life is my message.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

GONE TOO SOON
The Bustillo and Pagaling families grieve the loss of our beautiful and beloved Mary, wife of Romeo; mother to three wonderful and strong children, Chriselda, Christian, and Romeo III; daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, niece, grandma, and friend to many. Humble to the core, generous beyond measure, kindness in every cell of her being, and unconditionally loving, she was 51 – all too young to go, and much loved for the living to bear her unexpected passing.

** Mary's Hawaiian 50th Birthday (November 2019) **

SUDDEN PASSING
On April 3, Mary suffered a traumatic brain injury from an aneurism and a stroke. The doctors did all they could with multiple surgeries and all that modern medicine affords. For two weeks, the family held on to Mary and each other for hope and a miracle. We prayed in the depths of our heart, called out her name to the pulse and the beat of the Universe, we cried in heaves of sorrow as memories flooded in and out of what Mary means to us and what it means to lose her. In facing the loss of his wife, Romeo, bulwark and rock of the Bustillo clan, asked, “How can there be tears left?”

Thank you all for joining us in prayer and having us in your thoughts. Knowing that we are not alone and drawing from your support help tremendously.

** Christian, Romeo, and Mary at Bellevue Art Museum to view Romson Bustillo's installation. This is the last picture of Mary.  (April 3, 2021) **

OUR LAST GOODBYE
Sadly, the trauma was too great and after two weeks, there was only one humane left thing to do: the unthinkable, the tragic, the deeply pained decision to let our beautiful and beloved Mary go and be in God’s loving embrace. On April 16, 6:19 pm, she met the Creator in peace and in the company of her true love, Romeo, and her son Christian. COVID limited who could be in the room in her last days, but the family said our goodbyes in our hearts and her presence when we could.

AS IN LIFE, GIVING TO THE END
Mary left as she lived, giving and loving. These were her gifts. As a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and in all her capacities she readily gave of her time, attention, and care and did so with kindness and humility. She was unselfish in every way. In recalling what her mom meant to her, Chriselda said, “Our mom is our biggest fan, always asking how to help us keep on track with our goals. She’ll drop whatever it is she’s doing to help us... She is one of the funniest people I know. The most common thing people have said about mom is that she is so kind and doesn’t have a mean bone in her body.” Chriselda (Honey to family members) also feels blessed that her parents “have one of the most beautiful love stories, one that seems almost unobtainable. They have built a wonderful life together.”

** Mary met Romeo in the Skyway Bowling Alley in South Seattle. He was struck by her beauty, full black hair, full lashed eyes, and the sweetest voice. He, tall, dark, and handsome. She tried to ignore him, but Romeo persisted.  She was 17, he was 18. He told a friend later that evening, “I’m going to marry that girl.” And he did, six years later on July 18, 1992. For the next 29 years, they built a family, loved completely, and raised three wonderful kids. **

As in life, Mary wanted to give after she passed. She donated her organs and her compassion lives on in others so that they may live and enjoy life. Her soul is now in peace with the Lord knowing that her family loved her so very much, knowing that they will be cared for, and knowing that she lived a life of no regrets because she was genuinely Mary.

Mary, you will be deeply missed. Thank you for sharing with us your life message: kindness, humility, generosity, and care for others. We are the better for having witnessed who you are. We love you very much. We will always love you.

YOUR KINDNESS
Given that we are unable to immediately celebrate Mary’s life in person due to COVID and that some of you asked if there were a fund to offer your support, the family set up this GoFundMe page. The Bustillo and Pagaling families appreciate your thoughtfulness very much. We look forward to meeting in person someday soon and to honor Mary’s life together.

** Mary, center with aviator glasses, with Pagalings at Disneyland. (2018) **

HOW YOUR GIFT SUPPORTS MARY'S FAMILY
I, Miebeth Bustillo-Booth, am organizing this memorial fund on behalf of my brother Romeo and his children. Your gifts will go toward unexpected funeral, medical, and other expenses. Your support is deeply meaningful and appreciated. It helps the family cope with the tragic and sudden loss of our beloved Mary. Thank you for your thoughtfulness.

Thank you for your support, thoughts, and prayers.
~ Romeo, Chriselda, Christian, and Romie



***MEMORIES OF OUR BELOVED MARY **

"The connections we make in the course of life -- maybe that's what heaven is."
~ Fred Rogers

** Mary was born in Honolulu, Hawaii on November 28, 1969. She is here opening presents with her parents Linda and Ben and brother Ben. ** 

** Mary with Grandma Sally, brother Ben, and cousins Mark and AJ.  (1980s ) ** 

** Mary and Ben at a dance in Valdez, AK. You can just hear her laugh. What a laugh it was. (1987) ** 

** Rumor has it that Mary asked Auntie Tessie for permission to marry Romeo. Unsure, Auntie Tessie, who is like a second mother, made Mary write a letter attesting to why Romeo would be good for her sweet Mary. (Romeo was considered a "Wild Boy.") Apparently, Mary lassoed that young stallion and made him a family man. Mary's letter must have worked. Here are Mary and Auntie Tessie dancing at Mary and Romeo's wedding.  (1992) ** 

** Mary was born in Hawaii and lived there for a time. She also lived in California, Alaska, and Washington where she met and built a life with Romeo. She would often visit Hawaii to be under the tropical sun and bask in its warm embrace. Here she is in Honolulu with Romeo, her mother Linda, friends, and "local celebrities." (1990s) ** 

** Mary with father Ben and brother Ben. (2014) **

** Mary and her brothers Ben and Bhennie and twin sisters Jeannette and Lynnette. (2014) **


** To Mary, family is everything. Here she is, center, with family in Reno. (2015) **

** Mary and the Bustillo cousins. Mary is at the center in the grey sweater. (2018) ** 

** Mary worked for the UW Medical Center for over 30 years. **

** Christmas gatherings with Bustillo and Pagaling families and friends are full of laughter, food (yes, lots of it!), and the highly entertaining White Elephant exchange. (Mary is at the  top back row.) (December 2016) **

** Mary and Romeo prioritized family and worked hard to gather and enjoy being together. Here's Mary in a familial embrace with Chriselda, Shaian, Romie, Christian, Ben, and Cheryl in Disneyland. (2019) ** 

** Romeo and Mary put their family and each other first. Their love is the kind that works hard and laughs even harder. It is clear about what matters and focuses on what needs to get done to center the family through the ups and downs in life. There was never any doubt what love meant. It was never just a word. Love was in action. Romeo and Mary's children witnessed this daily and are strengthened by being grounded in unconditional love. **

** Romeo and Mary raised three wonderful, strong, and smart kids Chriselda, Christian, and Romeo III. (November 2019) ** 

** Big Hawaiian 50th Birthday Celebration with Pagaling family (November 2019) ** 

** Mary and Miebeth at a family gathering. Just check out that big and beautiful smile! (2017) ** 

** After a Rosary prayer to honor Mary, each family member shared their word to describe Mary. In describing his wife, Romeo said, "To me, Mary is maganda (beautiful), inside and out. It's just who she was." (April 21, 2021). **


Please feel free to share your own memories of Mary and messages to the family. 

Thank you.