In Loving Memory of Dongmei (Helen) Xu

My name is Kathy and I am the daughter of Helen Xu. My beloved mom passed away unexpectedly in an accident on September 21, just 1.5 weeks after my wedding. The loss of my mom is immeasurable. She was simply the best mother my brother (Robert) and I could've ever asked for, as well as the best wife to my dad (Gary) who loved her deeply for over 30 years. My mom was incredibly loving and giving, and took great care of our family. She made every apartment/house we lived in since immigrating to the US feel like a home. We truly don't know what we're going to do without her.

I set up this page since some friends have asked to contribute to funeral expenses and related expenses (e.g. retrieving her remains in CA). Unknown to me at the time, my mom passed with little in savings as she poured everything into my wedding. My mom always took care of me and I want to take care of her even though she is no longer physically with me in this world. I want to be able to lay her body to rest in the way she would want to be. My mom loved nature and all its beauty, so my goal is to lay her to rest somewhere with a view she can admire. She spent her last day hiking with friends, looking at views from the mountaintop, doing what she loved with people she loved.

We find comfort in knowing that my mom lived a happy life, albeit too short. I remember asking her on my wedding day if she was happy, and she told me she was "so happy, the happiest". The last time I ever saw my mom was the day after my wedding when she was packing up my wedding outfits to take back with her to WA. The last message I ever got from my mom was when she replied "beautiful photos" after I sent her preview photos from my photographer. My wedding was her day of joy. The day of my wedding was also the day of Mid-Autumn Festival, when the Chinese believe the moon is at its brightest and fullest. Towards the end of the night, my mom made a request to the DJ to play "月亮代表我的心" ("The Moon Represents My Heart") which we decided to make the last song. I know my mom's heart was full that night, just like the moon. I want to remember her as she was that day--happy and beautiful.

There really are no words to convey how deep this tragedy cuts us. My mom was my best friend and my biggest cheerleader. I feel an unrelenting sadness knowing that she won't be here for everything else that is to come in my life. My mom also loved my brother Robert, who is only 21 years old, with her entire being. And my dad Gary, who provided her such a good life, one that she couldn't have imagined for herself when she first came to this country. My mom also passed with 2 of her friends who collectively leave behind 3 daughters. Needless to say, there has been a lot of grief that we're all trying to navigate through right now.

Lastly, as we celebrate my mom's life, please share any memories that you have with her. Through these past few days, I've been continuously learning of how loved my mom was by her community and just how far her reach spread. I want everyone to know how incredible of a person my mom was.