Honoring Carla Rae Flandermeyer

Honoring Carla’s Memory and Supporting Her Family

This week, my family and I experienced an unthinkable loss. Our mom, Carla, made the devastating decision to take her own life after a long battle against an undiagnosed illness and severe depression.

As we begin to process the emotional weight of her passing, we’re also facing the financial burden of her final arrangements and some remaining debts she left behind.

A lot of people have reached out to ask how they can help, and truthfully, this is the most meaningful way to offer support right now. Any contributions will go directly toward covering the expenses we’re facing, and any remaining funds will be set aside in a savings account for our brother, Tegan, so he has something to start his future with when he graduates from high school.

Carla was a deeply giving person. She showed up for others without hesitation, and we know that if she were here, her biggest concern would be making sure her kids were taken care of. We’re doing our best to honor that, even as we navigate our grief.

If you're able to give, or even just share this page, it would mean so much. Thank you for reading, for caring, and for holding space for us during this incredibly painful time.

”There are no words that can capture the depth of our pain or the emptiness her absence leaves behind. So I will do my best, then, to share a little of the light she brought into the world and what made her so beautiful:

She loved with her whole heart - no matter where someone came from or where they were headed. She forgave freely and often. She carried the innocence of a child and believed deeply in the good in others. She loved life. She loved to laugh. She had a heart the size of Texas, and it beat with love for every living thing under the sun. She loved to dance, to feed people, to tend to her garden. Above all, she loved her children.

I thought long and hard about whether or not to share this publicly. But I realized quickly that it was necessary. The brightest, most beautiful souls can be overtaken by darkness. And all too often, the ones who give the most are the ones who don’t know how to ask for help.

So please - check on your people. Love them fiercely. Don’t shy away from hard conversations or heavy feelings. And if you're someone who struggles with depression, please hear this: your presence, no matter how heavy, is always preferred to your absence. We need to remind each other that it’s okay to not be okay - and that asking for help is not a weakness, but an act of courage. Mom would want you to keep going.”