January 2026:

Hello dear friends and chosen family of Stephen and Rolfe




The generosity, love, and support you’ve shown to help cover Stephen’s expenses has been truly incredible. It’s made a meaningful difference and lifted a tremendous weight during a very challenging time, and I am so grateful to each of you.

As we roll into a new year, just… thank you. Wishing you all health, happiness, and many good moments ahead.

I’ll keep this GoFundMe here and update it from time to time—please feel free to share it with anyone who may not have seen it yet or has not been made aware of Rolfe’s passing. Every share, message, and bit of support truly means the world.

And don’t forget to reach out to Stephen — a text, call, visit, or kind word goes a long way. He’ll happily admit he’s a curmudgeon, but he’s our curmudgeon, and he feels the love.




xo, Pamela

There's no place like home, as the story goes. The Husband, The Home, Boys Fort, a place created by Stephen and Rolfe, a magical place where every wall, corner, shelf, and cubby tells a story.

From Stephen:

Rolfe left us peacefully, in his home that he loved at 8:30am surrounded by his husband, his dog Trick, and the close friends and animals that were his logical family.

His passions were art, design, and performance. His greatest inspirations were Joseph Cornell, Joe Brainard, and David Byrne.

A lifelong non-smoker, it was lung cancer that took Rolfe from us.

In his memory, make the world more visually intriguing, be kind to animals, lift up the oppressed, treat others with kindness, fight fascism.

Hello and Happy Sunday,

I wanted to share an update on the GoFundMe I started for my dear friends Stephen and Rolfe.

Rolfe is facing a second battle with cancer and has come home under the care of hospice, surrounded by his husband Stephen and the terrors—I mean terriers… or did I?

So many people have stepped forward with monetary support, and it will make an enormous difference. But beyond that, the love has been palpable—felt from both near and far.

Earlier this year, Rolfe checked off a bucket list item: having a show in Portland. Donna, the former owner of Guardino Gallery, helped make that dream a reality. The room was filled with friends and admirers of the artist who has come to be known as The Husband.

I recently brought them a few of the pieces from the show—works Rolfe wanted close by. Gail, who now runs the gallery, made an incredibly generous offer: for any pieces of Rolfe’s work that sell, she will take no commission. Every dollar will go directly to Rolfe, and of course to Stephen.

Works by Richard 'Rolfe' at Guardino Gallery

It’s all just so lovely. And so are all of you.

With warm regard,

Pamela

Original message:

To all of the friends of Stephen and Rolfe, Rolfe and Stephen ... two names that have become one; ubiquitous within this group of friends and loved ones they've welcomed in to their world over the years.

Richard “Rolfe,” our kind, dear friend, a quiet yet brilliant spark of creativity, is now entering hospice care after facing a second battle with cancer—a path no one should ever have to walk twice.

Rolfe and his husband, Stephen Rutledge, are two of the most gifted and generous artists you could ever meet: actors, makers, and storytellers whose home radiates warmth, wit, beauty, and a love of animals that seems to fill every corner. Rolfe’s recent art show was a testament to his immense talent and the tenderness with which he sees the world—each piece a reminder of the compassion, depth, and grace he shares so freely.

Both he and Stephen have bravely navigated their own cancer diagnoses in recent years, and while their resilience has been extraordinary, the financial strain has been overwhelming.

As they focus on comfort, love, and holding each other close in the warmth of the home they’ve built together, we hope to help lighten the burdens no family should have to carry alone.

Any support—whether through a donation or by sharing this page—will offer them stability, peace, and a heartfelt reminder of how cherished they truly are. Thank you for holding them in your hearts.

xo, Pamela