Imo's Top Surgery Fundraiser

Hey friends, Imo here (or Lupa J if you know me best that way) - finally doing the thing I've been painstakingly contemplating for so long now.

After years of trying to wrap my head around what I've come to understand as intense & persistent gender dysphoria - thanks to the support of a fantastic psychiatrist, I've now settled comfortably and confidently into the decision that top surgery is a necessary solution. I had my first consultation a couple of weeks ago, and now have all the information I need to take the next steps. I'm over the moon that I'm finally at this point.

As many of you would already know, Medicare does not cover the costs of gender affirming surgeries, so the only way I (a low income artist surviving on Centrelink) can make this a reality is by asking my community for assistance. Anything you can afford would make a world of difference - every tiny little bit helps! <3 Even just a share would be highly appreciated.

Here's a longer version of the background on this decision if you're so inclined to read:

As a child, I always found gender norms confusing, and nothing but a source of stress. I fell in love with the character San from Princess Mononoke when I was 6 - she was the only female character in my media consumption that, well - didn't look, act, or talk like a 'girl'. She has blood smeared across her mouth in the iconic image of her on the film poster, a superhuman level of physical agility and energy, and is more or less constantly bristling with rage. Thank god feminism is back in vogue and we now have a more nuanced understanding of what a woman can be - but I think San appealed to me not because she was a 'fierce woman' - rather, she seemed genderless. In one scene she is described as 'neither human nor animal'.

At home, from age 6-10, I was dressed up as her non-stop. I swung a spear around in our apartment block's courtyard, and wore the costume to bed. I felt like I existed in this genderless state, where I never even noticed my body - its only purpose was to enable the wild physical manoeuvres I wanted to make. But at school, over time - & not without a bit of bullying - it became clearer and clearer to me that to fit in and have friends, I had to do 'girl'.

Throughout the rest of my childhood and teenage years I existed in this state of dissonance between extreme overcompensatory performances of femininity and who, or what, I felt like internally. My mental health deteriorated to an extreme degree in response to my body going through puberty, and the realisation that I was being categorised based on perceptions of my gender.

In 2020, I came out as non-binary and began binding my chest, which gave me a sense of calm & gender euphoria I hadn't experienced since I was that little kid dressed up as San. However only after a month or so of binding I one day woke up with such sudden, intense chest pain I could hardly move - and every time I've since put a binder back on, the pain inevitably returns.

Ever since, top surgery has felt like the only option in order for me to exist with happiness, freedom and ease. The only way I've coped in this body is through extreme dissociation, which is becoming more apparent to me the more I unearth the emotion around it in sessions with my psychiatrist.

Cost breakdown:

Surgeon fee - $5500 (after rebate)

Hospital excess - $750

Anaesthetist fee - $500

Private health insurance - (12 months at $100 per month) $1200

Recovery costs - (Time off work, etc) ~ $2000

Estimated total cost - $10,000.

I currently do not have private health insurance, but I will be getting it just for this surgery as it will bring the cost of the hospital stay down from $5000 to $750. I cannot afford PHC & have to be on it for 12 months before I'm eligible for the surgery, so I've included it in the above cost. I've paid for the initial consultations with surgeons myself.

Thank you so much if you've read this far. I wouldn't be here without my queer community - endless love to you all. There are so many others in the same boat that are in need of financial assistance - not to mention the causes in need of donations in this current political climate - so if you can only spare a dollar, even that would mean a lot. <3

Imo xx