I hate having to do another one of these after so many helped me out over a year ago with my surgery and medical costs. But unfortunately this past 6 months has has been like a non-stop roller-coaster of bad luck and constant struggle just to stay afloat. I'm not going to post a long explanation of every thing thats happened but to summarize: in June I was diagnosed with several degenerative disk disorders and have severe nerve damage in my lower lumbar region that extends down my leg. Been to several specialists and was told they are all degenerative issues that will only get worse as time goes on. Surgery is not an option as it would be extensive and cause more nerve damage than I already have. Now im in the process of having to apply for disability because I can barely lift 5 pounds without severe pain. It's caused me to start losing feeling and mobility in my right leg to the point I am now regularly falling or tripping over my own feet because my right leg and foot just give out and suddenly stop working.

I haven't told many people about any of this with a few exceptions until today.

All of this is why I have been somewhat absent from social media lately and not very active or communicative. So to those of you who have messaged me to check on me, I appreciate it and apologize for not responding yet. I'm just completely overwhelmed and at the end of my rope.

So as embarrassing as this is to be doing another gofundme, I have to. I currently work 7 days a week doing instacart despite my spine Doctor specifically telling me I need to stop because lifting heavy items regularly, sitting up right for long periods of time(like when driving to deliver orders long distances, and all the walking involved will only make my issues and pain worse and soeed up the degeneration, which has already progressed significantly just since June because I ignored his medical advice and kept working. Because I had to. I can't afford to stop working because if i don't work, I cannot pay my rent, utilities, both car and health insurance not to mention afford the many different procedures they keep performing to see if they help(they haven't yet) and thst doesn't even include the monthly MRIs and imaging costs that are billed separately. So here I am. Asking for help again. And I am embarrassed to even be in this position again but I'm also terrified of what can happen if I continue to keep working like I have and the further damage I will cause to my already overwhelming and significant issues.

The scariest if which is the possibility of Cauda Equina Syndrome that we are currently monitoring for as my deterioration and degenerative issues progress. It can cause serious neurological damage as well as result in possible paralysis, either partial or full. Obviously I would prefer none of those things to happen.

I have a fully comoressed and pulverized disk, spinal stenosis and whatever that there long ass named condition is. As well as severe nerve damage, scar tissue build up and lastly some lovely little bone spurs/fragments/splinters just floating and moving through the tissue.

I originally made this gofundme a whike ago and only shared it with a small group of friends because I was not ready to let everyone else know how badly I was doing, nor did I want to admit to everyone I know that I am absolutely terrified of what could happen if I do not slow down and hopefully slow the progression down as well. I really don't feel like being a 45 year old unable to walk across the room without assistance or a walker but I REALLY don't want any neurological issues on topnof everything else.

So, yeah. Here I am again asking for your help because unfortunately I do not have the time to sit and want a year and a half to two years for my disability claim to be approved as my chances as a 45 year old are already extremely low and I will almost certainly be denied the first 2 or 3 times and it takes months each time we have to file, refile, appeal etc. I just don't have that long to continue working at the rate I am now without causing myself more pain and potentially ending up with Cauda Equina and having to endure an emergency surgery that will undoubtedly cause even more nerve damage and result in life changing, limited mobility and potential lifelong neurological issues as well.

Anyway. This is just my shot in fhe dark and like I said, any amount is appreciated and helps more than you know. If you don't like using gofund me then just ask for my zelle, venmo or cashapp. I had originally set this for 2 grand when I first set it up 2 months ago. But even since then things have progressed and gotten so much worse that I raised the limit to an amount that could help me get by for at least the next 3 to 4 months while allowing me to slow down and hopefully not exasperate things further. And to pay for any future procedures that may potentially provide me with at least some relief or even possibly slow down the degeneration enough to give me the time needed to go though the disability process. Sonif you can helpband would like to, younhabe no idea how much it would help mor how grateful I would forever be to you. I love you guys and appreciate your help. Also, I promise this will be the last gofundme I ever post. I don't care if dinosaurs come back and one chews my arm up. I'll wrap duct tape around it and not say a word.