Mental health care and Paralympic dreams

Heyyyyyy it has not been a great time to be a diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging specialist! I however am trying my best, but unfortunately my best does not include financial stability. I'm living off of my savings and trying my best to find a job when what you specialized (and really the only other thing you've ever done that's not performance based) in is now illegal! Since I still don't have a job, I might as well try to take care of my mental health. So we're swallowing our pride and we're here. I know 2026 has just started, but to quote a well known mountain goat song, "I am going to make it through this year if it kills me". Unfortunately, my mental health has decided that that is a challenge (Well my physical health too, but I do have coverage for that).

I've been lucky enough to have a care team that is determined to help the only downside is insurance which will not fully pay for the program that would be best suited for me, which allows me to stay in community and get the care that I need. Which is half (ok, 2/3) of why you're here. That's $3500 for my share.

The other half is deeply important according to my team which is having something to be excited for and care about. I love Larp, but it's also work and accordingly my team says it doesn't count. One of my friends passed last year and really was the biggest believer in me - she went to the Paris Olympics and Paralympics and said that she could see me there. I laughed but she was being serious. So now I have 2034 Paralympic dreams in sledge/sled hockey. And if you know hockey it's expensive. $1500 for gear that fits me, and development fees.

The reason why this is specifically one giant pool is because goes back to a particular story:

A poor man, the poorest to the poor, only has ten pence left to his name. He spends five pence on bread so that he may have something to eat to keep him alive. He spends the other five pence on roses to have something to live for. Also the fact that I am actively ashamed of asking for help! And asking for both feels easier. Obviously I would pay for my mental health services first but my dream would be able to hit both. (The Extra is for Fees!)

Anyhow thanks for reading.

(If you recognize the title it is lovingly inspired from the novel by Baek Sehee, "I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki" and my therapist is ok with the title.)