I need mental help & healing

In 2009, my father took his life. The fallout of his suicide lead me on a path of drug and alcohol abuse for many years. Eventually, without being able to afford therapy, I found photography as a tool of personal healing. For many years I used that camera to distract myself from depression and suicide.

In 2016, I traveled to Standing Rock to stand in solidarity with the NODAPL movement. While there, I ended up taking a series of photos that went viral. Photos from my time there ended up winning 'Photos of the Year' by People Magazine, The Guardian, ABC News and more. They were featured in the Nobel Peace Prize forums and other high profile outlets.

All of that recognition didn't come without a price tho. Those photographs have led to consistent harassment. I have been targeted by people, threatened, doxxed, insulted and so much more. I deal with the positive and negative impacts of those photos every day. Those photos have become a gift and a curse within my life. Something I will have to deal with forever.

Now, 3 years since Standing Rock, I am seeing myself finally beginning to face the PTSD and trauma I have built up. Compounding trauma between my fathers death and what happened at Standing Rock have consistently made me question my place on this earth and whether or not I should remain here. I am battling alcoholism again. 

I don't have insurance and I do not make enough money to afford a therapist. I need a therapist. I need help. I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm tired of feeling like I want to give up.

Thank you to anyone who has a couple dollars to spare. This money will be used towards therapy and outpatient rehab. I don't want this to seem like I am trying to milk what I did for money, but I need to heal and doing this myself, without professional help, is driving me into a dark hole.