Many of you that know me or have been on my live gaming broadcast know I have been going through some serious health issues. I've always had a bit of a stomach issue before my implants but nothing near how it is now. Since I would pass out from the pain from some of my severe stomach aches, I figured all the other symptoms were because of my stomach. But then I would start getting certain symptoms plus new ones even when I wasn't having a stomach ache. I've even ended up in the ER because I felt like I was dying! I thought there was something wrong with my brain or something so they scanned my head and did blood test and found nothing. I always feel like I need to rush to the ER but constantly talk myself out of it because I know I will not get answers and I will just be wasting time and money. So I stay home and feel like I'm going to go to sleep and not wake up in the morning. And sometimes I feel so horrible that i actually accept death and feel okay with it. I literally feel like this every day, just some days are worse than others. I can push out a smile and feel great when my pain level is at a 3 or 4 because you have no idea how painful it is when it reaches 8-10. I've been to different doctors, I have had a colonoscopy, biopsy, capsule endoscopy, stool test, tons of different blood test and much more and they keep telling me everything is normal when I know there is something wrong. I remember running past something about implant illness a few months back but did not really look into it because I think I was in denial and thought maybe it was just woman trying to talk girls out of it as if it was some kind of movement for women to feel happy with their natural self. Well the other night, while I felt like I was going to die, I picked up my phone and decided to browse things online, I started reading this girls intense story about her implants and how she felt like she was also dying. Reading her story was like reading it as if I wrote it, it was so insane how similar it was to mine. I kept reading other women's stories and just started crying because I all of a sudden did not feel so alone. All this time I could not understand what was happening to me or why this was happening to me. I read on and saw how many woman felt so happy that their symptoms started dropping after they removed what they would call their death bags. So I made this decision the other night that i wanted to remove my implants. I'm not going to lie and tell you guys I am thrilled to lose my boobs, I am definitely scared and depressed that I have to....but if these are really what's causing my illness, they are NOT worth it! The reason why I am reaching out for help is because of my illness I have been having so much trouble trying to work, I live my life mostly laying around because I feel so sick. Also the job that I do have started giving us less and less shifts. I would not be able to get a new job with the condition that I am currently in. My lease is almost up as well and have been trying to figure out how to come up with the money to get into another place. I live in California and it is so so expensive to live here and cannot relocate because I have my son and even though I practically have full custody, the courts will not give me that title. I honestly just don't know how much more I can take feeling like this, this is not the way to live your life. I feel like I'm losing myself and it's so depressing. And just so everyone knows, I eat extremely healthy, drink plenty of water and try and force myself to workout when I am feeling less pain.
I posted a breast implant illness symptom list below and checked all the ones that I was having....wow almost all of them. This money will be going towards the implant removal and lift. If you cannot help by sending money, please send me your prayers everyone. I am seriously terrified. I would appreciate all your help, seriously you have no idea how much this will mean to me, you will be giving me my life back.
Thank you so much for reading all the way through. Please leave your negative judgements away please, if you have nothing nice to say, just don't say it at all. Thank you