I Choose Me (Eating Disorder Recovery)

"It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bare the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy."
~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer

PREFACE: This is long. I had someone say "no one is going to read it all the way through". I say "that's a part of the problem." We don't know how to slow down and really hear one another. This is your invitation....

I have spent nights awake listening to the many voices scream in my head about this moment in my life, asking for help, money, God, faith, fears, death and unimaginable darkness.   I have met a lot of adversity in my lifetime.  This is one of the most humbling, terrifying and challenging moments I have known. 

For 30 years I have been surviving a life-threatening journey with Bulimia Nervosa and the co-existing disorders and debilitating pathologies that rise from the reasons such a sentence would land upon anyone. 

Although I have made strides, or I would have died with my head in a toilet bowl, I am now at a junction where all other roads have disappeared except the one that leads to saving my physical Life. 

The holistic complications of a trauma induced eating disorder addiction have reached a tipping point.   My body won’t make it, and if it does- barely.  I want to know a vital and thriving Jamie at age 60.  Please help me.   I am asking for money...

Bills (Rent,phone, car, insurance, doctors, therapy, supplements etc.)
Loss of income
Enough to rebuild and invest in the gift I came to bring forth and get back on my feet- solid.
Time. I will not rush this. My life matters.

After talking with doctors and specialists it has been made clear to me that I could die if I don’t surrender to intensive healing and treatment.   I know this deep down which is why I reached out for help in a way I could not have done until now. 

I am checking into The Emily Program on Monday Feb 10th.  A residential facility in Seattle that specializes in eating disorders.  This is the beginning of a healing journey that I will not put a timeline on.  My life matters and this will not get sorted out in a month or three.  I hope you can hear me. I am braving all of the emotion around asking for this investment in not just healing but my dream seed on the other side.

For those of you who know me this may come as a shock.  But, does it really?  Have you not wondered why “with all of the capacity you see in me” I seem to kind of show up, almost get it done, just barely get by?!  



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  • Michael Brahier  
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    • 2 d
  • Anonymous 
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    • 3 d
  • Anonymous 
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    • 6 d
  • Gabriella Coniglio 
    • $20 
    • 6 d
  • Anonymous 
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Jamie Renee Lashbrook 
Port Townsend, WA
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