My first husband set me on fire when I was pregnant with our youngest daughter. She made it and she's beautiful. Unfortunately, our second born was murdered, and our first born is perfect. Well, as perfect as a mom of three can get, but that's not the problem.

The assisted living facility I worked at closed its doors to reopen as a nursing home. I don't have my CNA yet, so I'm out of work. It's been almost 3 weeks now, and I spent the last bit of my money replacing a fuel filter in my car. I've been trying to live with him. I mean, I just bought rice and beans this week. I'm hoping that that'll be enough to keep me alive, at least until I can go back to work. I love my job. I'm really good at it. If anybody needs someone to sit with their parents, I would be willing to do that: cook, clean, make sure everyone goes to the bathroom, make sure everyone is safe, and ensure lunch and dinner get cooked every night. But that's still not the problem.

I have $37.17. I don't know what I'm gonna do. That's never gonna last me long enough to find a job. I'm begging for some mercy. I need a little help. I've never had to ask for help before. I've always just been able to figure it out, but since Katie died, my brain's not working the way it should. I can't explain it. It just feels foggy and sad.

I love working with older people because I feel like I'm working in God's waiting room, and maybe, just maybe, I could catch a glimpse of Katie, even though I know she's resting in God's arms. I'm scared and alone. I have no husband. My kids have all moved out. It's just me, and I don't think I can figure this one out by myself. It cost everything to fix that fuel filter.

Please help me. Just give me the benefit of the doubt. I'm begging for your mercy. I don't care what you give me, $1.00 or five dollars or whatever you can afford. I know times are hard, and here I am, some stranger begging for mercy. I am a Christian. I believe in God, and I know that He comes through in the end, but I don't know where the end of this is, and I'm scared. If just a few people would help me, I can improve everything. I'm not a quitter. I will keep looking. I will keep moving forward, and if I have to continue to eat rice and beans, I guess that's what I have to do. I was just hoping someone would help me.