Keep my 4 year old from our abuser

My little girl is 4. She is the most beautiful, fierce, and determined force I have ever seen. She is brilliant and beautiful in so many ways. I am asking for you to help me pay legal fees that are incurring trying to keep her safe from her abusive father. This is our story....I never walked away, why didnt I just walk away?     I could write you a book on the mistakes I have made in my life, but nothing tops the days I moved in with Russell. The man who ultimately would rob me of my children, and everything I had in the world.     He took something from me that I can  I can never replace. I am left with a constant anguish that will never heal.Jan 2017     The attack was the worst it had ever been. I was pressed against the couch. He wispherd quietly in my ear horrible things, horrific things. He reminded me how worthless and useless I was. How disgusting my body looked since I had my daughter. He tore apart everything I was word by word. Both hands around my neck. I kept passing out and waking up. I couldnt breath, I couldnt scream, I couldnt even cry. All I could do was endure his wrath and pray. I should have walked away, why didn't I walk away?   God never came that night  or the nights or years to come even though  I prayed for him. Needless to say I dont pray anymore. Im mad at God and I know some day I'll talk with him again but for now I'm just mad.    Sometimes I can still smell he or hear his voice .  I wake up certain he has come for my daughter and I. I know he is coming, I know him. He is viscous, relentless, and determined. He is an ex Marine with a disciple and determination unlike anything I have ever seen. He does not carry remorse or regret instead he carrys the belief we belong to him and he wants it back. June 2017   He admitted him self to the VA Hospital in Tampa FL. *Sorry forgot to mention were from FL* He was admitted for suicidal thoughts and hallucinations and thoughts of killing his family. He was released two weeks later.  I should have walked, why didnt I walk?   You know its funny how people say, my life changed in a minute. October 2017    This day would be my life changing minute.  I knew I would never see my kids grow up. I knew my dreams and hopes would never come true. I would never laugh out loud again, feel or give love. I was dying.    The attack was in my front yard. According  to the neighbors surveillance camera which caught the entire attack, it was 15 mins long. I was punched in the face when I was knocked to the ground. For the next 15 minutes I was bitten, punched and strangled.  I passed out many times. He was behind me and with my face pressed in the dirt as his voice echoed.  I was devastated each time I regained consciousness.  Devastated at the fact he wasnt through and there was more to endure. I just wanted to die.    I woke up to see him walking away down the road. I found my phone sat down in my front yard and called 911. I knew if there ever was a next time He would kill me. They found He up the street walking to a local bar. He was arrested for resisting arrest, battery and strangulation.  Strangulation is considered the most aggressive form of domestic violence and is often the last step before murder.    The cat scan at my emergency room visit found broken orbital socket  and broken nose. Facial contusions, bite marks on my arms and neck along with minor cuts and bruises. This time, I walked away.     That was not the end however. I was a wreck, I was broken and lost. My mother came and took my daughter home with her and my son went to my ex husband . I needed time to pull my self together and get everything in order. Pack, move, change lifes. At this point he became aggressive with texts and emails . He even went as far as stealing my truck from my drive way. I moved and he even showed up there. Leaving flowers on my truck, notes and gifts. He made sure I understood he was never going away. February 2018   There is only one way to be safe from him, move. I'm not talking down the block I mean move. We so we moved to New York.    I need you to know something, remember I told you at the beginning of my story he took something from me. Something I could never replace or describe the pain I feel? That  something was my little boy.  You see his daddy lives In FL and FL prohibits a child leaving the state without both parents permission.  His dad would not agree.    Let me ask you how do you decide? How do you pick which child needs you the most? I will never ever forgive my self for getting in that car and driving 1200 miles from my boy. I hate myself every day for how that must have made him feel. How it made his little sister feel. I pray some day they will be able to understand I did the only thing I knew to do. I had to get my barley 3 year old daughter as far away from that man as I could, and with a broken heart I did.March 2018     The laws are very funny covering child custody.  If my daughter and I would have left FL 18 days sooner than we did she would be considered a NY resident. We have resided in NY for 14 months however the state of FL is still claiming jurisdiction over her. Meaning she is still a FL resident. We are trying to fight this.   I want to remind you he was Baker acted for suicidal and homicidal thoughts. He was admitted to Tampa VA hospital because he wanted to kill me my children and his self. He is dangerous and he will if given the chance hurt is. I need your help.In March I hired a lawyer to protect my daughter from him. I also have to have a lawyer in New York. We are getting ready to move forward with her case. FL has the power to force her and I to return to FL and they can also allow him visitation.  I have fought with all I have, sold all I could and exhausted my finances. With paid lawyer fees already above $ 20,000 I have nothing left to give. My lawyer is going to withdrawal from being my counsel. I can not fight with out her and I dont know how to keep her. I'm not only asking for financial help,  if you are or know an attorney who can help us message me.  I am doing my best to protect my daughter but the fight has just gotten to big. I cant do it alone.    Very very few people know my story but I know I cant ask you for help if you don't know why I need help. If you are able please help me protect my daughter. Lastly I would like to ask of you know me personally and my children they dont know my story and I would really like to protect them from it .   I will never be able to repay you for helping me. I may never even be able to thank you face to face. However please know I will be grateful for you for the rest of my life. Thank you. I would also want you to know, I welcome any questions you may have and I will answer them as best as I can.37137228_155062951563212_r.jpeg37137228_1550629866523072_r.jpeg37137228_1550630040232412_r.jpeg37137228_1550630592964640_r.jpeg
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Organizer and beneficiary

Amanda Everage 
Organizer
Seaford, NY
Robert Waller 
Beneficiary
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