RELAPSE… a word that every cancer patient who has achieved complete remission fears. Hearing that word on Monday 15th July was something we will never forget, the silence in the room, the shock on our faces, the fear in our voices… how? why?

Questions that are impossible for any consultant to answer.

His recovery was nothing short of remarkable after receiving a life saving stem cell transplant on Christmas Eve, his bloods were recovering well, his body was feeling stronger and his mindset remained his constant source of strength, life was beginning to get back to normal or so we thought.

What happens now?

Adam has started targeted chemotherapy which will hopefully kill off the cancer cells, he needs weekly or twice weekly checks to see how his body is responding to treatment, this is at the QE hospital in Birmingham and he is also likely going to need blood transfusions, platelets and whatever else flags up. The coming weeks are going to be tough, we have no idea how his body will respond to treatment and we have been told that it’s only 20% of patients who do. If his body decides enough is enough then the devastating reality is he will not be here by the end of the year.

This is something we cannot even begin to think about, it’s not an option, he has a whole load of living left to do and 3 children to watch grow up. For those that know us well will know we do not give up easily, we always choose positivity and even in the darkest of days we are choosing to keep those thoughts on a positive outcome.

Whilst we are hoping for the best and putting faith over fear we are also preparing for the worst, we have to be realistic and unfortunately that involves doing all the things no one ever wants to think about. Funeral plans, power of attorney, a will, a wish list and hopefully a wedding, to name a few.

We simply cannot do this without help, the financial burden that cancer brings is not always something people talk about. We are not big earners by any means but we are grateful for what we get and never focus on what we don’t.

We couldn’t have gotten through the last battle without the generosity of people, we have been blown away with the power of people and the kindness and compassion they have shown us.

We would love nothing more than to get married, enjoy the summer holidays with the kids, enjoy days out without the strain and stress of money always being the thing stopping us. Help towards fuel costs, 60 miles each time we go up there, thats 120 miles for two weekly visits which is what we are facing in the coming weeks.

This fundraiser, however, is not only for all the things we want and need now but for the financial security that if the worst case happens Adam knows that the family he leaves behind will be OK, they can grieve without the stress of income.

We are scared, we are not afraid to admit that, we have no control over any of this but we can control how we respond and that is by making the next few months the best and most memorable months of our lives.

We can! we have before! we will again! we must!!!

With grateful hearts.. thank you