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I've identified as agender since 2018, and I'm raising money for my top surgery in July (1). I'm a powerlifter, fiber artist, amateur blacksmith, humanist clergy, accidental cat dad, and a part-time malfunctioning Roomba.
About the campaign title: GoFundMe tells its users to come up with catchy, memorable titles for their campaigns, so while this was partly borne out of genuine curiosity about what GFM will and won't allow users to promote, it's also unfortunately literal: my insurance will cover the removal of both breasts and both nipples, but they won't pay for the reinstallation of said nipples, so I have to pony up additional cash not to have them incinerated as medical waste (2).
While my opinion on this part of my anatomy is still fluctuating between "my nipples are valued team members, and I would like to retain their services" and "what if post-op I just became the dadbod version of the Asset from The Shape of Water," I would still like the financial option to have 'em slapped back on!
You seem pretty cavalier about this?
My professional background has given me the ability to recognize the following two statements as a both/and rather than an either/or:
a) Each human life is singular in its beauty, challenges, and wisdom.
b) We're basically just wacky electrified LEGO wrought from meat.
But if you want a more serious pitch, here you go:
In December 2019, I was having particularly bad dysphoria and a friend responded that our relationship with our bodies is "the first opportunity we have for friendship and the only relationship we're guaranteed at death. You deserve a better relationship with your body than barely tolerating it."
This quietly stayed with me for a few months, but then March 2020 rolled around and suddenly the only thing I was guaranteed on a daily basis was a lot of sustained time alone with my thoughts...and the body housing them.
When I came out of my hysterectomy last year, I texted my dad that it felt like I was finally coming home to a place I'd felt locked out of for years.
I don't see top surgery as a push towards masculinity (though it is, a little) or actively fleeing my de facto feminine-coded curves (though it is, more than a little.) It just feels like home renovation, and for the first time in decades, I think I want to live here for the rest of my life. Would you help me?
Financial Breakdowns and Milestones:
- I need to be able to hand ~$1,000 to the Gender Confirmation Center by May 26th as a surgery down payment. This is the bare minimum I need to raise in the next few weeks.
- My maximum out-of-pocket cost for ✨ THE SURGERY™️✨ if my insurance decides to go full lawful evil is ~$9,000. (My surgery date is early July, so I have a few months before I need to worry, but I'd love not to have this hanging over my head!)
- As of my original post, work hadn't confirmed approval of my medical leave, but I'm good to go now! Our short-term disability insurance set-up is a little bit predatory—the money I receive during my time away from work comes out of my paychecks when I return. I'm asking for $4,000 to help cover my rent and bills for July-September so I don't have to deal with paycheck nonsense.
- Anything raised after this point is purely for fun, helping other friends out, or emergencies. Examples include but are not limited to: helping friends pay for medical care or troubleshooting name change paperwork, a generous tip to my tattoo artist this fall, restarting my membership at my local lifting gym once I'm medically permitted to do anything with my arms, etc.
Thank you for reading.
Notes:
(1) GoFundMe's Grammarly editor notably does not recognize the word "agender."
(2) The emphasis on “both” here is almost certainly to do with medical billing codes, but it adds just un petit soupçon of threat, no?