About two weeks ago I got a call that my Sister and Mom both tested positive for COVID-19. Soon after, my Dad tested positive as well. While my Sister and Dad did not need to go to the hospital - my Mom was immediately rushed to the ER. Over the course of 13 days, she fought for her life but things were up and down... and then stayed down. Yesterday, after I spoke to the doctor in detail about her current condition - we as a family had to make the impossible call to end her suffering.

At 4:35 pm on January 3rd, 2021, my Mom passed away from complications with COVID-19. Her passing was peaceful and quick.

The last 48 hours have been the worst pain I’ve ever experienced in my entire life by a landslide. I feel destroyed, heartbroken, grief-stricken, and still find myself in disbelief of it all. My Mom loved Alex and I unconditionally. She loved her sun hats and little gardens. She would always answer the phone with “Hi honey” which would always make me happy even when I was absolutely not. I’ll miss walking the dog with her, I’ll miss her storytelling of stories I’ve already heard a thousand times (now you know where I got it from), and more than anything I’ll miss her hug.

During COVID, I did not hug her once and instead kept my distance because I wanted to protect her. I thought I was doing the right thing but now? I don’t really know. I’ll always have immense regret over this and feel absolute guilt.

I’ve been mostly private about what I’ve been dealing with over the last couple of weeks but now I must ask for help. Between hospital bills and funeral arrangements - my family needs help in covering these costs. I feel shameful asking during these wretched times but the last thing I want is for my family to go into even bigger debt (than they already are in) while dealing with the loss of our Mother.

If you can spare anything, my family and I would be eternally grateful.

Thank you for reading this and please stay safe.

Matt