Hospice & end-of-life care for Gary Fiegel

Who inspires you to be the best of yourself?

Who gifts you with memories that will last lifetimes?

Who taught you the values of kindness, joy, and love?

Who dares you to live your dreams?

Who shines a light in the darkness?

Who chooses love over fear?

It’s difficult to write this as a son to a father whose life is characterized by countless moments of kindness, joy, and love. Saying thank you doesn’t feel like enough. Saying goodbye is harder.

We are asking for help to ease the challenges of this new - and final - chapter. Please consider this story and providing any assistance - big or small - to our family in the next steps as we say thank you and goodbye to a father, husband, son, brother, nephew, Air Force veteran, NCO & Top Cop, lifelong performer, songwriter, role model, entrepreneur, philanthropist, leader, teacher, mentor, coach, friend, and - above all - decent, kind human.

There’s a question that’s been circling my mind: how do you honor and respect the final moments of a loved one’s life?

If we haven’t crossed paths, my name is Chris Fiegel. I’m the second and middle son of Gary James Fiegel. Gary is the son of Jean Mitchell and Gordon Fiegel and the loving husband of Linda Norris-Fiegel - a 32-year marriage & 37-year relationship defined by the words, moments, and spirit of the famous song “Endless Love.” My sister, Faith, and brother, Stephen, are the next immediate members of our family, alongside various relatives, extended family, friends, and community.

We write to you at a new chapter in Dad’s journey - a time full of memories, sadness, anger, disappointment, grief, imperfections, consoling messages, kindness, reflection, and acceptance.

The context:

Recently, our father transitioned into at-home hospice care upon remerging symptoms of sepsis (e.g. fever, low blood pressure, chills, etc.) due to wound & bone infections that he's battled for nearly six months, alongside other health variables including congestive heart failure, diabetes, and genetic heart conditions.

For those who know his journey, you know that this road has been a long and winding one. For those who are new to this journey, this is a story of heart, hope, and love.

For over a decade, Dad has persevered through several major health events - including triple bypass open-heart surgery in 2012, multiple catheterizations, severe congestive heart failure in early 2021, and a near-fatal heart attack later that same year (resuscitated) - all while surrounded by Mom, family, friends, community, medical experts, and true angels. Following the open-heart surgery in 2012, he was given 2 - 4 years to live based on the partial success of the surgery; this year marks his twelfth year (approx. 4,300 days) since that surgery.

In January 2024, he was admitted into St. Luke’s Hospital in Bethlehem with three infections, including sepsis, and spent 22 days consulting with a diverse team of specialists as they worked to 1) medically intervene to halt the spread of the infection, and 2) mitigate future infection as much as possible.

During that time, Dad was given two options: surgically remove the infected bone to give his body a chance at healing itself with a 50-50 possibility of the return of the infection, or return home with IV antibiotics to keep the infection at bay for as long as possible. After several consultations and discussions, Dad decided to give surgery its fair shot, removing the infected bone. The initial results were successful, but, upon further review, the doctors concluded that the infection likely penetrated deeper bones in his foot. Due to neuropathy and limited blood circulation to the affected area, further amputation would likely yield the same result: a painful, risky healing process that could exacerbate the existing heart-related conditions.

After careful consideration and consultation with the medical team, everyone agreed it was in Dad’s best interest to go home on an antibiotic regimen that would give the wound the best chance of healing on its own - if at all - with the understanding that the infection may return but with no definitive timeline (i.e. 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years, 20 years). On February 2nd, Dad came home.

Over the next week, Dad experienced follow-up visits from Physical Therapy & Occupational Therapy specialists, coinciding with Dad’s own continual work on recommended circulatory exercises and commitment to healthier measures (e.g. rest, sugar control, reduced stress). To everyone’s disappointment, Dad spiked a fever and low blood pressure, noted by one of the visiting nurses, and this meant the infection returned. Based on these indicators, they decided that hospice would be the next best course of action for comfort and peace, knowing that the timeline of his eventual passing would remain uncertain.

The legacy:

Gary James Fiegel (a.k.a. Dad) has been a representation of so many paths, people, and values over the course of his life. If you are interested to read a more detailed account of his legacy and life, you can read my abridged account of his life in this blog post: The Leader of the Band.

To learn more about his legacy in music and to listen to highlights of his career, please visit their official website for Norris & James.

Additionally, there is a song and music video dedicated to him from nearly 8 years ago, entitled "Daddy's Little Girl" - written, performed, and produced by my sister with an arrangement produced by Dad and myself - you can view this video here.

There aren’t enough words to define the profound effects of Dad’s life on people - near and far - throughout the community and the world. His impact is imprinted on so many of us. His stories and legacy are protected in the hearts and minds of loved ones, trusted friends, and so many others. His lifelong practices of humility, integrity, honor, giving, gratitude, and care for others shine through his music, acts of kindness, and dedication to sharing joy wherever possible.

Often, he asked one simple daily question: what are we going to do fun today?

The frequent answer to that question: help others, enjoy the good times, and be yourself.

We don’t always get to the opportunity to know when we will say that final thank you and goodbye, but, if we’re here and present, we can embrace the time gifted to us, wrapping those moments with a loving embrace that knows mercy, grace, compassion, and love through one of the hardest parts of life - letting go of the ones we love most.

The ask:

Earlier this week, we experienced the quick transition to at-home hospice care for Dad, and each day brings adjustments and lessons as we are guided through these next steps with the gentle support of the palliative & hospice care teams. Mom (a.k.a. Linda Norris-Fiegel) is currently on Family Medical Leave to provide daily care to Dad, and we are incredibly grateful for the various lines of support that we are receiving through family, friends, and community members.

The goals of this GoFundMe for Dad/Gary are two-fold:

We are working on ways to express our gratitude for any and all help that we receive from family, friends, and community, including community updates, access to the full catalog of Norris & James music (including the original cassette recordings), and more.

We invite you to share your stories, memories, and messages of support through this GoFundMe. If you would like to share these moments privately, you are more than welcome to send them via the Contact feature on GoFundMe or via the contact information here, and we will share them with Dad as we get the opportunity to do so. Thank you for your time, support, and consideration.

It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

Be kind. Be happy. Be yourself. With love and gratitude.