It's been a tough year for creators of music, art, video, books etc. Normally I accept it for what it is - an extremely risky existence with lots of hustle, more hours than I know how to log (I am never off-the-clock) and tons of disappointments and rejections between the successes that make it mostly worth doing again for the next project.

I particularly love trying to inspire other guitar players to be their best, so I spend a lot of time providing free advice and answering comments and messages about all things guitar-related. Guitar players are the second coolest people (cats being the first).

Life as a creative person is not, never will be, and was never meant to be easy. I've worked plenty of "regular jobs" over the years from retail, deliveries to teaching. I work harder now than I ever did in those jobs for fewer rewards but greater satisfaction (on the good days). 

Not only do I accept the nature of this beast and how it operates, I quite often enjoy the thrill of the chase and the amount of work it takes to make a project awesome and successful. It's a rollercoaster of ups and downs.

Here's the thing: The ups haven't been there lately, and it's taken a toll on me.

Unfortunately, the creative spirit is often interlocked with the black dog of depression, as my adult life and the last few years, in particular, can attest to.

2019 has been an extremely rough one, beginning with a complete emotional breakdown, and finishing where I am now - having some trouble getting through the rest of the year due to a decline in income and productivity and basically just bad economic conditions for earning money from creative works. 

I've had about 15 days off this year, but pretty much every other day, you'll find me up at 7am and working until 9pm, creating free content to educate the guitar community and also the things I depend on my livelihood for like books and video products. It's brought me close to another breakdown, but I'm trying to hang in there.

As hard as it was to admit my broken state and bear my weaknesses, I recently came clean with my followers about my struggles and why I've been a bit of a ghost lately. 

I'm not very good at asking for help and I'm even worse at accepting it, but a number of people have asked me to start something on this platform so they can give back a little, and I figure this is a transparent way to do it. I tried sourcing a grant from a music-related organisation in Australia but the experience was so judgmental and demoralizing that I couldn't pursue it.

I have no expectations of what will come. I just wanted to give those people in a position to help a way to do so. As I said, I'm terrible at accepting kindness but I need to overcome that if I'm to heal and become stronger.

So, IF and only IF you felt like contributing to my wellbeing for a little while until I finish off some projects and attend to my depression recovery at the same time, I'd welcome the opportunity to breathe a little without feeling that weight of financial hardship in my stomach.

Please don't give me anything if you're doing it tough. My heart is with you if you've had a rough year too.

The next 6-7 weeks are really the pressure points for me. Hopefully, things will take a natural upswing coming into Christmas. I don't know but I'm hopeful.

I apologise for the abundance of words when really I just need two: Thank you.

Chris Brooks