Hoping for a chance to recover from my trauma.

You’re supposed to be able to trust the people that bring you into this world; they provide care, support, protection, and unconditional love---Not for me. My childhood was scarred by severe abuse from the only people I had.

I ensured years of abuse---sexual, mental, emotional, verbal, and physical---abuse by my biological parents, leading to endless amounts of pain and suffering. At 18, I left to heal from all the trauma brought on by my upbringing. While I have come a long way from where I was, I’m still in a lot of emotional pain and struggle daily with

depression, anxiety, an eating disorder, suicide ideation, self-harm urges, OCD, and PTSD. I’ve been through things people don’t go through in five lifetimes, and I would never wish upon another person, and I continue to fight.

Since starting recovery, I have obtained a full-time job, a healthy relationship, a car, and have even completed an associates degree and a certification. I really felt like I was moving in the right direction, and I was very proud of how far I had come from everything I’ve been through in my past.

But in the past two weeks, things took a turn and everything I had worked so hard for, came to a complete halt. I was having seizures that had never happened to me before. After being hospitalized for over two weeks with numerous tests, I returned with a bleak diagnosis---PNES, psychogenic nonepileptic seizures. It commonly affects people who have endured severe trauma. Just when I thought things were going well, my past trauma rears its ugly head again.

It makes me feel helpless, and it’s defeating how fast things can be taken away from you.

For some people, getting a diagnosis that your body can’t handle the stress may seem like a red flag of defeat, but for me, it fuels my fire to push harder. I want to work through my trauma, return to the path I was so excited about, and move forward. With proper therapy and medication, I can continue to live my life and put my trauma behind me. I want nothing more than be able to leave my past in the past and build a life for myself and my future family---free of all pain.

The problem is that each session for PNES costs $350 for one hour and isn’t covered by insurance. That’s on top of the $5,000 for the neurologist and $____ for the testing. To heal would cost tens of thousands of dollars that I don’t have. I want to heal; I want to overcome my past; and I want to lead a happy, healthy, trauma-free life. I’m asking from the bottom of my heart to consider donating whatever you can afford to help me cover the therapy costs. I want to take back my life and thrive and not just survive, and I hope you can find it in your heart to help me do that.

Thank you

EXTRA:

I’ve made huge strides since being on my own, and I have committed to continue this journey and continue fighting for the life I want. I put in my best effort daily while at the same time trying to cope with all the emotional turmoil going on inside me in a healthy way, but I continue to push myself to be the best I can be. I don’t want to carry the burden of my past trauma for the rest of my life; I want to live a healthy life where I don’t have to fight to stay alive every day; where I can focus on everything I have and am grateful for rather than everything that’s happened to me.