Hi, I am Rye. 26 year old LGBT furry living in Michigan, struggling with AVPD, PTSD, Heart disease, Kidney failure, post cancer lung damage, cholecystitis, seizures, and extreme depression.

I am going to state up front and honestly, if this go fund me doesn't obtain enough support to even have the chance at a better future, I am not going to be able to live with how things are at the moment, and will likely find assistance in calling it quits before natural causes. This isn't to enfluence people to help, its not being dramatic, I have been abused, beaten told time and time again that no one can help, no one wants to help, or that there is no help, and I am tired of it. If there is no help, then there is no reason to continue on, I am going to die with or without help at this current point regardless, currently at an 86% mortality rate.

A bit of background on me, I grew up with an abusive family, some of the family members of which have attempted to kill other members over seeking help to escape leading to a fear of help. That is why I have made many gofundmes in the past, and deleted them, I am afraid to get help. When I have tried to get help, I have always been told there is nothing they can do, and good luck, that being friends, medical professionals, lawyers, anyone who was asked, I have yet to hear anyone say, yes I can help in 26 years. I lost my partner which led to a drinking and drug craze and losing most of my friends, those who stayed either died or eventually got sick of me and my continual decline, and left. In the last 2 years, I have had 5 people die, 2 of which were murdered, one of which was murdered while on the phone with me leaving lasting trauma. At a point and time in life, out of desperation for purpose, friends, to actually have a life, I got involved with taking mind altering psychedelics for the purpose of becoming someones sex slave, which never came to fruition leaving me abandoned and quite fucked up mentally, both because now there are constant needs that never go away, and rewiring to my neurons that completely inhibit the ability to do things that are necessary for living a normal life alone, not in the care of others, causing complete reliance on people to function. As a result, I am supposed to be given a caretaker, but have not been able to be provided anyone who can help. I have been unable to seek therapy because there is no one in the county trained to help, I have been unable to get a job to move somewhere to find help, because well, its hard to keep a job both with AVPD and when you are forced to be obedient and serve, ignoring all warning signs and health to the point of dropping dead on the job when my heart stops, or when seizures occur, which ends in being fired. I havent been able to get seizure medications as my doctor is afraid to prescribe anything due to my depression as most if not all seizure medications elevate depression, being I am already on suicide watch, he legally cannot help, and as a result I am going to lose my drivers license which means I can no longer get food, or go to the hospital when my heart medication fails to help, which has been on multiple occasions. Things are worse than fucked, and I could go on and on about it all, but no one would want to read that, nor does anyone care. Recently due to my mental state, I have been banned from many locations, kicked out of many groups, and cut off from many people just because I am struggling, depressed, suffering, and have nothing to do, no life, and it makes everyone uncomfortable, makes them overwhelmed, or gets in the way of others cliques and groups, of which I dont deserve to be part of, nor shouldnt even try, but when desperation and loneliness take control, its hard to hold back, and it sucks.

My living situation is abysmal. I live with people who have attempted to kill me on multiple occasions, just recently by trying to poison me with bleach. My living space, as in the entire basement is filled with black mold, mildew, regular mold, rotting corpses, food, fecal matter, and urine. There are multiple electrical fire hazards that have led to multiple fires in this house, a damaged roof and walls that hasnt been fixed, and generally, this home should be condemned. It is owned by family, and as I am not a legal tenant, am always at risk of being evicted if i dont follow orders, no matter how horrible they may be, not that i have a choice anyhow. If i get evicted, I will be dead within a day sleeping in my vehicle with no AC from a heat stroke, so being homeless is not an option for me. I will not be including photos of my house due to the content, but they may be requested externally as it is likely to disturb people, and it is for the respect of them.

I highly doubt this gofundme will make a dollar, but the funding will go to both finding a safe place to live, and in the mean time making life potentially more enjoyable to the point that I feel like it is worth waiting it out. I need to buy a house basically and either rent or buy equipment to move. I dont have a lot, just a couple broken bits of furniture and a car, so it wont take much. As for the making life enjoyable, I want to do something other than what I have been doing for the past 8 years, which is waking up, then sitting doing nothing. I want to go out and make friends for once, fix my vehicles and enjoy them, work on dream projects that will benefit the community, and the country, and just make the best of what little time is left. If the gofundme makes enough, I will use some of it to better my health after moving out, as that isnt an option in the current location. This all may seem very self centered, wanting to have people pay to enjoy life, and honesty, it is, and I will admit, I need it very badly right now. This isolation has driven me insane, worsened everything, and I just want to be free of it, either by going to enjoy life for once in 26 years, or by death. Either is an option, the latter is more realistic of a goal. You may not believe so, but yet to have any proof to change my mind.

The goal is a heavy under estimation. I am currently over a million dollars in debt as a result of medical bills, unpaid taxes to state and federal, loans, borrowed money, and to unemployment, and it only ever rises. I dont plan to ever get enough to actually live a proper life, but at the least, just hope to make the best of the time thats left, and even then, its going to be well over a few grand at this rate.

My request is that if you can, please share this as much as possible. Gofundmes dont work without reach. I already know news teams dont give a shit, and do not care to help. I am not a click bait enough story for them, its too real, so its up to people to spread this enough to get to the people who can help. If it doesnt, then its a wasted effort. If you share, thank you for helping, as that does even more than donating does, and to those who donate, I also very much so appreciate you for helping. It means a lot to me. though I have already typed enough, just know if this works out, I will likely break down into tears, though have no hope of that. I am not popular, I dont have friends, connection, or really anything, not even luck. This is likely just a waste, but at least it appeases those who say "why not just make a gofundme?" with a response of "because they only work out if you are popular and do social medias and such." Anyhow, wish you all a good rest of your day.