Honoring My Unforgettable Gem

It hurts me to share such life-changing and tragic news; my life and the lives of those impacted by the fallout and aftermath of this event will never be the same. Over the past couple of days, I have had the fabric of my life unravel and at times have felt like I’m being tossed in the wind. Every moment and every breath seems impossible to take, but my unwavering resolve to keep it together for those left behind and in my care gives me the strength I need to reach out to my worldwide community for help.

This past weekend, Cedar Rapids experienced a senseless act of violence that has rocked the foundation of our community and has released pain, grief, and loss to the families, friends, and loved ones of those who were victims and casualties as a result of this tide-changing event. Early morning Sunday, April 10th, my only son was shot seven times and killed at a nightclub downtown; he was only twenty-five years old. My pain and grief are aggravated by the additional loss of life and the remaining ten victims that are on a path of recovery, ranging from minor to critical conditions. I can’t fathom what could have caused the series of events that marred this moment and created so much pain and concern for many people in the aftermath of this tragedy, but I am determined to not let the disregard of the few, rob me of my hope, happiness, and peace for the future; for myself and the rest of my fellow Iowans. I have been touched and brought to tears by the outpour of love and support from those that have heard of my loss, and for how my support systems have stepped in to carry me through the beginning stages of what will be a lifetime process of healing, reconciliation, and peace. Thank you to all those who have stepped up to prove to me that my life and the life of my son mattered and that the impact that he left is worth honoring.

Despite the reckless act that took the life of my son so suddenly, I am insistent on laying my son to rest in the best way that I can, to prove that despite the way he died, or the opinions that are traveling around concerning this event, he was my everything and deserves the best I have to offer. I am reaching out and extending my plea to anyone who can and is willing to partner with me to send my son off in the manner in which he deserved to experience the rest of his life. I am a hard-working single mother that shows up and presents the best that I have to offer every moment that I can, but financially I was not prepared to undertake the responsibility that I have to bear, burying my baby. I am aggressively pursuing every avenue and resource to help cover the cost of funeral arrangements, but my present lack outweighs the means it will require to pay for his services. I am asking anyone that can, to donate to this cause. I am asking for assistance to the tune of $20,000; this will cover $15,000 for the completed balance of his service, and $5,000 to start a college fund for his five-year-old son, my grandson. I know that times are hard, and everyone is in a place of rebuilding in some respect, but if I have learned anything from this tragedy, it is that people are able and willing to show love and support in ways that you can’t imagine if you’re willing to open your heart, suspend your pride, and ask for what you need. I am hopeful and am setting the intention that despite the temporary loss that I will have to endure for the rest of my life, this moment of pain will later unearth a greater purpose that will not only enhance the fabric of my being, but everyone that has been touched by this moment in time. Despite the darkness of this act and the devastation that I feel, the light of love and peace will help to lead us all to a place where our destinies will be revealed and a greater purpose will be the final outcome. I send my heart and all my love to all of the families that are traveling this road of recovery with me. I am with you; you are not alone. Despite my pain, I choose to stand on my strength as a woman, mother, grandmother and friend. We will not be broken; we are Iowa strong! Thank you in advance for everyone who will help me lay my son to rest. Sleep well for now son, I will see you again. I love you deep.

MaDukes