Honoring Harriet: A Tribute to Love & Compassion

I am Kristen, younger daughter of Mark and Harriet Paschuck, and I write this with a heavy heart, seeking your support and love in a time of immense sorrow. My beautiful mom went to be with the Lord on August 31, 2023, at 6:00am. I’m trying to raise money to help my dad with the medical bills as well as have a celebration of life for my mom. 

On February 13, 2023, my mom received a diagnosis that shook our family to its core: tongue cancer. On March 28th, she had a life-altering surgery--the removal of her tongue. On April 10th, I resigned from my position as a school bus driver to help care for my mom, allowing my dad to continue working to support them. 

In the following months, she faced six weeks of intense chemotherapy and radiation treatments. Her indomitable spirit and bond with her clients led her back to work where she worked a handful of times before her illness forced her to step away from the chair. Their financial situation took a sharp downturn when their income reduced to less than half of what it once was. This created a very heavy burden on their shoulders and left no other option but to rely on credit cards to pay for the mounting medical bills and to maintain the roof over their heads. Her battle was relentless, but she never lost her spirit. 

We thought we had triumphed when my mom rang the end-of-treatment bell on June 26, but the battle was far from over. On August 9th, at a follow-up appointment, I asked the doctor what could be done, as she did not seem to be herself and couldn't remember how to spell her name at check in, on top of the amount of weight she had lost. The doctor recommended hospitalization due to severe malnutrition. During her 16-day stay at the hospital, they ran tests and did scans.  

The news we received on August 22nd brought more heartache, revealing stage 4 lung, colon, and bone cancer. The doctors delivered the devastating prognosis: just six months or less to live. The meeting with Hospice on August 24 was heartbreaking. That day, I went to their house with a couple friends, my husband, and my son to set up the living room for my mom. I had the hospital bed placed next to the French doors so that she could look out at the butterflies flying around her butterfly bush, which my dad planted for her many years ago, and also to see the robin named Robirda that would visit, make nests, and lay eggs - ever since she, my sister, and my dad had nursed it back to health back in 2020. 

On August 28th, we "celebrated" my dad's 72nd birthday in the living room while my mom slept. The hospice nurse came in on the 30th and told us we had 36 to 72 hours with her. Our world crumbled the next morning, August 31st, when my mom passed away at 6 a.m. She was surrounded by the love of her family, and although I am grateful, she is no longer suffering, I hate that she is gone. Losing my mom was a moment that words fail to capture, the way this impacted our hearts and lives is indescribable. Her absence is a continuous reminder of the love, guidance, and work she always shared. 

My parents began their love story in college in 1972, when my mom went and sat with an injured football player who was sitting by himself in a pub. This moment was all part of God's magnificent plan that led to a love that spanned 51 years, with 49 of those spent in a beautiful marriage that inspired those around them. They married in 1974 and built an incredible life together, raising my sister Jessica and me. Later, they cherished their roles as grandparents known as Papa and Gege to my son Kameron and Jessica's three children: Taylor, Londyn, and Lauryn. 

Please consider contributing to this GoFundMe campaign to honor my mom's memory and provide support to my dad during this excruciating time. 

Your donations will help alleviate the crushing weight of unpaid bills and financial strain that have taken a toll on my dad. Additionally, your kindness will also enable us to host a deserving celebration of my mom's life, bringing together her cherished clients, family and friends.

In 1981 they embarked on a shared dream of opening their salon, Shear Precision, which was located in Roswell, Georgia. Inseparable, they worked side-by-side, the salon became their second home, where relationships and deep bonds were created. My mom's heart overflowed with compassion that extended beyond the walls of their salon. She always had a profound love for the elderly, so she devoted over 40 years of her life as a dedicated hairdresser in several memory care and assisted living facilities. My mom embraced them as if they were her own parents, and her warmth and kindness garnered their love and admiration. 

In November 2020, amidst the pandemic, my mom underwent a triple bypass - an extremely challenging time for all of us. Her resilience led her back to work, where she continued to bring joy to her clients. In April of 2022, they closed the doors of their salon, and my dad joined her in her noble endeavor in the assisted living and memory care facilities. That's when the residents of one of the facilities dedicated their play "Steel Magnolias" to them; she became their Truvy. 

 

My dad went back to work a few weeks ago in order to try and pay down the debt that was incurred during this time. He tells me how hard it is to drive to work without her, as they would ride together every day. He tells me how hard it is to be in the shop without her next to him, and how hard it is to go home without her. With that being said, he hasn't been able to properly grieve the loss of his best friend and love of his life. 

It's more than just missing her physical presence. It's about cherishing the one-of-a-kind love, support, and unique bond that each of us had with her. Each day comes with its own set of challenges without her. Reflecting on our shared moments brings a blend of comfort and laughter. Although there's a void, her loving memories remain with us. 

It took me some time to get this GoFundMe together because I wanted it to be perfect. I rewrote it 26 times and still don't feel like I said enough. I don't know how to explain the pain or even put into words the kind of person my mom was and the love she had for her family and friends; it's ineffable. Every time I would start it back up, I was reliving the last 6 months of my mom's life, but my mom deserves to be honored, and I promised her I would make sure my dad was taken care of. 

Please consider contributing to this GoFundMe campaign to honor my mom's memory and provide support to my dad during this excruciating time. Your donations will help alleviate the crushing weight of unpaid bills and financial strain that have taken a toll on my dad. Additionally, your kindness will also enable us to host a deserving celebration of my mom's life, bringing together her cherished clients, family and friends. 

Let's rally around him and show him that he is not alone in this difficult journey. Please help me lift the immense burden from my dad's shoulders so he can find solace and begin to heal from this profound loss. Every contribution is a gesture of love and support for a man who has endured so much. 

With heartfelt gratitude, 

Kristen NeSmith