After exhausting my savings and putting my life on hold to care for my father in his final years, his sudden passing has left me facing a cascade of urgent crises—massive vet bills, critical car repairs, my own neglected health, and the costs of wrapping up his life. I'm solemnly asking for support to raise funds to find stable ground and honor his memory.

This is something incredibly hard to finally initiate and advocate for myself for once, but it’s time. I’ve spent days trying to figure out how to put this out into the world. Those who know me know how independent and self-sufficient I am, and how bad it has to get for me to break down and ask for help, but it’s time to get even more vulnerable, so here it goes:

Dad gleaming in his lil’ old cabin.

My father passed away Halloween morning. As his in-person support, makeshift paralegal, and caregiver for last several years of his life after his inheritance was stolen from him leaving him in a state of destitution, grueling court battles, unpaid life-saving medications and lack of healthcare which exacerbated his health conditions, I drained my entire savings and livelihood on Dad’s care and comfort. I would travel back to my Nevada residence to work just enough to take months off at a time from my AV career to support my dad both financially and in person while still paying rent/bills in one state, on top of working a secondary job at a climbing gym and volunteering at the local food bank to pay more bills, keep gas in the tank, and keep us fed in another state (UT/ID), and living without running water or proper refrigeration at my other residence while caring for Dad.

Dad FaceTiming me while working in NV

Camera operating on the Spiral Stage, Sick New World 2024.

Routesetting in Cache Valley as a second job was a very physically intensive, but incredibly rewarding outlet I cherished during such trying times.

Catching one of our favorite shows (Red Green!) while in the ER after grabbing Big J’s for dinner. This was one of the last times Dad and I laughed together.

“Coffee!” Dad exclaims as his first word waking up out of anesthesia.

Pokes, paperwork, and checkups were the norm, but we made the best of it..

..Even when it was like pulling teeth, every last one of them..

..we called it the “big boy chair..”

..had many a fine meals (tomato basil soup and toasted focaccia from College Market became his staple when visiting Portneuf Medical Center)..

..and found humor in everything..

..no matter how dire the situation would become..

A frigid NYE 2022 spent keeping the fire stoked in the living room for dad and Missy while using the lantern for light (as not to trip the single outlet from a power pole outside that allowed a small space heater for my room, kept our fridge and computers running while uploading documents to court websites overnight, and powering the microwave at the same time if we were lucky).

..or how many ceilings caved in or black mold we dealt with..

..until my childhood home was left completely uninhabitable along with liens placed on his property held in his own severely mismanaged living trust, along with a much later failed attempt to criminally trespass me while I continued watching over it (had to prove in court that I had bought and placed the “no trespassing” signs while representing myself, and kept the “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” gift bag in the window as Dad and I had while living there as a dark joke)..

..so I moved Dad to his little cabin on the hill to live out the rest of his days. Even it became under threat for a time by the same relentless predator, though graciously saved between the efforts of extended family, then redeemed by his closest confidante and life-long friend who came to the rescue, barring it from the talons of greed.

Now, as I attempt literally and metaphorically picking up the pieces to preserve what little legacy he had left behind, I am caught in a financial crisis that I’ve tried my best to dig myself out of on my own. Truthfully, I had been really struggling since last summer after being laid off as the climbing gym in Utah changed ownership. I fell behind on rent for a place I was hardly at, began skipping meals to keep my father fed after any last emergency funds I had were diminished, and haven’t been able to fully catch up since.

So, here’s a further breakdown of my current situation:

· My beloved cat Aslan required approximately $4,000 emergency care immediately after my dad passed away, and now needs $700 in follow-up care. He is a major reason I still walk this earth, as silly as that may sound, and will do anything for him to remain in better health. My dad would even ask about Aslan more than he’d ask how I was at times, haha. He is a very loved little being by many.

Our band photo basking in the golden hour in front of my little travel trailer parked next to the dilapidated home.

Aslan even took on a desk job at another gym in Nevada for a time while his mama had to focus on intensive care for her dad across state lines..

..he’d greet customers with a smile (and many head bumps)..

..inspect the ropes..

..worked in HR..

..but slept on the job a lot so they had to let him go (back to his mom).

Aslan curled up, exhausted from the 3rd vet visit that day that lead into night waiting for an emergency ultrasound.

· On top of this immediate financial hit, I lost a crucial two weeks of confirmed work while having to spend more for a last minute flight to carry out funerary arrangements that fell in my lap by surprise as my father’s POA. The day after returning to Idaho, my little sister and I prepared his body for his final resting place next to his parents.

Found a simple but beautiful wood casket already made and available by a local craftsman through a close family friend who has his very own staged in his living room.

Adorned with the flowers herbs, brush, and branches Dad would constantly forage and use from the land he loved so much.

· My own health was placed on the back-burner for years as I prioritized taking care of my father in another state. This prevented allowance for proper doctor visits or follow up care for myself. I was in back-to-back accidents last year that left me with an untreated concussion and spinal injuries. Additionally, I now have compounding stress-induced health issues requiring further treatment and diagnosis. I must either drive back or fly back to make my appointments.

Blood test day for both of us just before getting on a plane to bury my father.

· My daily driver needs further repairs after a very kind life-long neighbor and family friend helped repair the strut mount and cv axel that failed in traffic. It’s close, but not quite ready for the 7hr roadtrip back to Nevada from the Utah/Idaho border. Been out of my Element (pun intended) for a year+ now, so to finally have it back to commute to work once convention season returns in a few short weeks would be a massive relief.

My Element after skidding into oncoming rush hour traffic on the way to my route setting shift, Halloween 2024.

Two nights later, I hydroplaned in a really bad spot on the freeway as it suddenly began sleeting and corkscrew rolled in the blink of an eye. I had just purchased this Explorer from a dear family friend in Salt Lake about an hour prior, and was driving it back to deliver propane to my Dad’s cabin. A Subaru hit the exact same spot minutes later and rolled also, skidding to a stop on its side right behind the Explorer. I was outside vehicle standing by an officer as it came barreling arms length past me and struck the officer. He made it out with a broken leg. We were both lucky to be alive along with the occupants in the Subaru.

Receiving ER care felt like a spa day after everything I’d been through during and leading up to the accident. Covered in glass and mud, they rinsed my hair, cleaned me up, got me out of my cold soaked clothes. In awe of still being alive, and just thinking about the absurdity of life.

The gifted beanie I still wear today, which saved my head from a worse fate that night, with a purple star balloon I recently found floating in a field.

· I've been caring for my dad's cat family of eight, now six, in his little cabin without power/utilities since his passing, and need to get them fixed prior to rehoming. This total is about $800, plus food for them in the meantime. I’ve already personally funded all of their vaccinations and food thus far, as well as two previous boys’ neuters prior to rehoming them a few weeks ago (she had two litters with us).

1, 2, 3, how many cabin kitties do you see?

Rex and Ozzy in their new home, hired as the new improved pest control for a family friend’s tractor repair shop.

Dad with Khajiit the day I rescued her. The cat who started it all. She failed to tell us she was cooking up a +5 guest list.

· Outstanding bills are piling up between states during the slow work season while also taking care of all of this. I am trying my best to get caught back up before I continue drowning. It’s been one step forward, two steps back.

· I wish to curate a headstone for my father out of rock from the land he loved so dearly, so that a piece of his hill will always be with him. The engraver I am working with has given me a quote of roughly $400, plus delivery fee if I can’t deliver it to him myself.

Dad’s view of the beloved hill from his final resting place on the day of the funeral as I watched him get lowered into the ground, November 8th.

· While long-term dreams and goals of following through with the rest of my Dad’s greatest wishes and legacy remains, my immediate need is to get back on my feet so I can even begin to work towards these goals without losing what little I have left to show for all of these years of unconditional effort.

So, here I am, still standing and humbly asking for your help at this time to raise funds to tackle these urgent needs: my cat's life-saving follow up care, travel costs for my immediate healthcare needs, repairs for my daily driver, ensuring my dad's beloved fur family are fixed and healthy in safe homes, and keeping the lights on while I continue navigating this impossible time. Any contribution, no matter how small, will directly ease these burdens, allow me to finally catch my breath, and help honor my father's memory in ways that meant most to him.

Thank you from the depths of my soul for reading, and for your consideration this holiday season.