Hello world... .. . Most of you know I have spent 19 plus years drinking heavily. Some of you might not know that for about two and a half years I struggled with hard drugs and then went through multiple overdoses using fentanyl. For two and a half years, I just gave up. Nothing mattered. So many times over the past 10 years I would quit drinking. A month or two would go by. I would always find a reason to pick that drink up again. I finally was arrested and charged with felonies. Since this is my first offense, I have been given a chance to reduce my charges and get my life back. I have been homeless for over six months. I was placed on probation for three years. I graduated from a rehabilitation center on June 12. I have 129 days sober today! I was in a sober living housing situation which did not go well for me due to mental health reasons. I did a lot of damage to my body, mind, and spirit over the years, especially those last two years. I found myself on the streets again. Yet I remain sober still. I am not giving up! I have a therapist, a psychiatrist, a case manager, and a probation officer. I am soon to be attending an outpatient program with classes for drug and alcohol education. I recently officially signed up for GED classes! After the completion of the GED course, I can begin college classes. I also attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings as well as Narcotics Anonymous meetings. I work two jobs and am doing my very best to become the best version of myself as possible. I am struggling though. I am surrounded by love and support. I always have been. I am more ready than I have ever been to just get my life back. I am ready to create a life worth living. I have struggled with suicidal ideation. I want to let go of that darkness. I want to move forward. Upward and onward, as they say. I have been back and forth in my mind while typing this message. Guilt, shame, and embarrassment flow through my being. However, I want to let those emotions go, so to show... .. . Recovery is possible. For anyone struggling out there. I want them to see you can fall to the very bottom with no hope, and give up completely and still recover. Help is available, all you have to do is ask. I did not want to go to rehab. If you know me, you know the last place I was ever going to go was rehab. It was never an option for me. Though I was court-ordered, it was the pivotal point in my life. I spent a very long time feeling sorry for myself. I spent years apologizing for blacked-out drinking binges. I spent a lifetime wasting away atop a barstool. I for so long blamed my life, my so-called problems on the world and my upbringing. It took a lot of time for me to see the beautiful life right in front of me was just a step away. The amazing life I could have was right there all along. I am so grateful to be alive. I am so blessed to be where I am today. I worked hard to get here and for the first time in a long time, I am proud of the person I am today. I gave up for too long. I finally am taking the steps needed to heal. Healing has been painful. From that pain has come growth. From that growth has come strength. From that strength has come beauty beyond what I could imagine. Like the phoenix, I am reborn. Like the phoenix, I rise from the ashes of the bridges I have burned and the days I drank away. I could not tell you the dark places my mind and spirit were fading into while I sipped that bottle and chased that high. Now I cannot imagine ever stepping foot upon a path such as the one I was on. I am no longer chained to those dark days. I am free from all that pain. I never thought I would be grateful for getting arrested. I am well on my way to success. However, I am not there yet. I found a studio apartment. It is only 300 square feet. This is a huge shift in the direction I need to go. It will get me off the streets and out of the shelters. For one month, I lived in my car. I stayed in dispersed camping all over the place. I survived for one month off of food banks and flying signs for gas. I reached out to churches who were kind enough to help me out here and there. Finally, my car broke down and I then went into rehab. I am saving funds, however, it is not quite enough for a mechanic. The tow fee just to get my car to the shop is $100. I do not know what the labor cost would be to have the car repaired. The clutch needs the fluid bled to it. I think... If that is not the issue, I will most likely have to replace the clutch. I currently use public transit to get around. Also, I use a bicycle. It is pretty exhausting in the summertime on a bike. However, I manage. As I have said, I am not giving up. Not this time! These studios are going quite fast. The price is right and the demand is high. So, I have decided to yet again to ask for a little help. The move-in cost is the first month's rent which is $850 plus a deposit fee. The total cost is $1,237.

I am blessed. I am surrounded by love and support, I always have been. I am almost to my next destination in life. I am more balanced mentally, physically, and spiritually than I have been in a very long time. If you took the time to read this message, I thank you. I thank you for your time and your energy. God Bless. :)