- S
- H
TW: PTSD, EMOTIONAL ABUSE, HOMOPHOBIA, GENDER DYSPHORIA, MISOGYNY, MENTAL HEALTH
Hello, my name is Neyva. I am a 24 year old queer latinx non-binary artist in need of serious help. I need to get out of my abusive household. I am at suicide risk due to living in an environment where I am constantly gaslit, manipulated, emotionally abused, called a deadbeat failure because I chose a different career path and chose not to give into machismo/having a kid at a young age like my mother did with me, called fat, an embarrassment because I’m queer, and completely disrespected overall on the daily. I have started a rigid diet due to the severe gender dysphoria I have been experiencing and weening off my anti depressants because they made me feel worse and made me gain 40 pounds. So far, I’ve lost 10 out of the 40 I’ve gained. Yesterday, I was roaming the streets because I had nowhere to go and had to pee outside of my house because when I walked in, I was given a severe death glare by my parents and younger sibling. I did not want to move out during COVID-19 but if I keep living here in an environment where I am not safe, I have no choice. My mother also sided my abusers when I came out with a statement regarding an abuser with many counts with underage girls. Mind you that she never helped me and gave me what people refer to as a “mothers love.” When she invaded my privacy at the age of 12 and found out my orientation, she threw a high heel at me and said I was an embarrassment of a child. When I told her I needed therapy, she told me to shut up. I’ve been in therapy for years, as well as support groups, and to this day. I’ve also dealt with my fair share of failures and deceptions in my musical path. A misogynistic cis man owes me $300 dollars and a music video. A former friend owes me $150 for services that were never fulfilled. Regardless of this, I fund all of my music from all of the capitalist jobs that I’ve worked. I’ve performed at parties such as: Queer as Punk, HEAV3N, Club Scum, and DTLA PROUD. I have also taught for Chicas Rockeras SELA, Fem Synth Lab, and Beats By Girlz, to show femme identifying and non-binary folx that regardless of their experiences and pain, they can still create their own dream. My lifelong dream is to headline the Walt Disney concert hall, as well as see Lady Gaga live. My mother told me she would never allow me to see lady Gaga live because she would make me gay. Inevitably, I was already the latter regardless of a successful popstars influence. Lady Gaga helped me realize what I wanted to do with my life and that I could define my own success. I just want to honor that and continue to stay alive regardless of how hopeless I am. Ways that I can repay people who donate include: music/songwriting/production lessons for beginning-intermediate levels, music production if you want to do music, and performances.
Hello, my name is Neyva. I am a 24 year old queer latinx non-binary artist in need of serious help. I need to get out of my abusive household. I am at suicide risk due to living in an environment where I am constantly gaslit, manipulated, emotionally abused, called a deadbeat failure because I chose a different career path and chose not to give into machismo/having a kid at a young age like my mother did with me, called fat, an embarrassment because I’m queer, and completely disrespected overall on the daily. I have started a rigid diet due to the severe gender dysphoria I have been experiencing and weening off my anti depressants because they made me feel worse and made me gain 40 pounds. So far, I’ve lost 10 out of the 40 I’ve gained. Yesterday, I was roaming the streets because I had nowhere to go and had to pee outside of my house because when I walked in, I was given a severe death glare by my parents and younger sibling. I did not want to move out during COVID-19 but if I keep living here in an environment where I am not safe, I have no choice. My mother also sided my abusers when I came out with a statement regarding an abuser with many counts with underage girls. Mind you that she never helped me and gave me what people refer to as a “mothers love.” When she invaded my privacy at the age of 12 and found out my orientation, she threw a high heel at me and said I was an embarrassment of a child. When I told her I needed therapy, she told me to shut up. I’ve been in therapy for years, as well as support groups, and to this day. I’ve also dealt with my fair share of failures and deceptions in my musical path. A misogynistic cis man owes me $300 dollars and a music video. A former friend owes me $150 for services that were never fulfilled. Regardless of this, I fund all of my music from all of the capitalist jobs that I’ve worked. I’ve performed at parties such as: Queer as Punk, HEAV3N, Club Scum, and DTLA PROUD. I have also taught for Chicas Rockeras SELA, Fem Synth Lab, and Beats By Girlz, to show femme identifying and non-binary folx that regardless of their experiences and pain, they can still create their own dream. My lifelong dream is to headline the Walt Disney concert hall, as well as see Lady Gaga live. My mother told me she would never allow me to see lady Gaga live because she would make me gay. Inevitably, I was already the latter regardless of a successful popstars influence. Lady Gaga helped me realize what I wanted to do with my life and that I could define my own success. I just want to honor that and continue to stay alive regardless of how hopeless I am. Ways that I can repay people who donate include: music/songwriting/production lessons for beginning-intermediate levels, music production if you want to do music, and performances.