I didn’t ever think I’d be in a position to write something like this, and to be honest, I’m really embarrassed to set up a GoFundMe. Asking for financial help is deeply uncomfortable for me—but right now, I don’t have many options.

A few months ago, I was diagnosed with a bilateral pars fracture at my L4 vertebra. For those who aren’t familiar, this means I’ve broken a small but crucial part of my spine—on both sides of one vertebra. The pars interarticularis is the bony bridge that helps stabilize the spine, and without it intact, the vertebra can slip or become unstable. In my case, the break has caused the L4 to move forward and has caused chronic pain, loss of mobility, and has severely impacted my ability to sit, stand, or walk for long periods of time.

On October first, I’ll be undergoing a TLIF (Transforaminal Lumbar Interbody Fusion) surgery. During this procedure, surgeons will remove the damaged part of the disc at L4, insert a spacer between L4 and L5, insert a titanium cage filled with bone graft material to promote fusion, and stabilize the area with screws and rods. It’s a major spinal surgery and not one that’s easy to recover from.

Recovery will involve weeks of rest, followed by months of physical therapy, and unfortunately, I won’t be able to work during much of that time. I had planned to work as much as possible before the surgery, but I’ve had to stop taking ibuprofen—my only real pain relief option—leading up to the operation. Since then, the pain has gotten even harder to manage, and it's become almost impossible to get the hours I was hoping to put in.

At this point, the only way I can get through any time sitting is with a heating pad—which I’ve used so much that I’ve literally developed “toasted skin syndrome.” That’s how desperate I am to find any comfort.

I’m scared—not just about the surgery itself—but about how I’m going to stay afloat financially afterward. Recovery is going to take time, and that’s time I won’t be able to earn an income.

If you’ve read this far, thank you. Truly. Just being seen and heard in this moment means a lot. And if you’re able to help in any way, I can’t even begin to express how grateful I would be.

I don’t have sick days or vacation so time off work is going to be hard while also paying for the surgery itself.