Hello, my name is Jeremy and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I've never had to do this before. I've always been able to pull myself out of the fire before I got burnt. But alas, this time I'm not so lucky.

Last June I was laid off, my replacement was GPT-4. I'm an expert in a very specialized software suite, with over 20 years under my belt. However, my tools are all making a transition to the cloud, meaning the number of companies that have it on-site are getting smaller. And the ones that do still have it, a lot of them have a freeze when it comes to hiring because they want to evaluate the new cloud based solution and see if it will work for them.

So, in short, I've been unable to find a job. To add to the fact that my career is suddenly going to no longer exist, I'm 47 years old. While not really old, my age is apparently not something that companies want to hire for when it comes to level 1 support and the like. I'm more than happy to do the work, they just think I'll leave at the first chance.

So there's that.

So I've been living off my savings since then, having to cut out a lot of expenses. One of those expenses happened to be my rent; my girlfriend and I moved into our tiny Chevy Trax and we were surviving by picking up gig jobs and doordash and the like. Then one night I decided to get a hotel room. And the next morning my car was gone. As it was, one of those expenses I cut also happened to be my car note. I had no idea the degree of sophistication these guys have now and my plan to hold out until I found something didn't exactly go as planned.

That was a couple weeks ago.

I write this to you all at a down and out hotel from Dallas, Texas. It's an hour and a half from check out. We are going from here to the woods behind a walmart not too far away. I'm devastated.

But there's more.

I could handle all of these things, I really could. I would normally find a way to get back on top of things, I'd bust my ass, do what I needed to to make it happen. But this timeI can't.

I'm going through heart failure, with a severe aortic stenosis.

It means my body starts to slowly swell from the excessive fluids because my heart can't do it's job. Some days, walking is extremely painful to do, and causes me to gasp air after 10 feet. I have to go to the hospital every few months and spend a week on high strength diuretics to get the fluids out. Last time I went through this, I lost 87 pounds, purely in retained water.

So I really need some outside help on this one.

All I'm hoping to get is a decent van to live in. After looking on Craigslist, Facebook Marketplace, etc, it seems that between $7,000 - $10,000 is where you can get a used van that's in decent enough shape that I wouldn't have to worry about mechanical breakdowns. So I've put my request at that. Anything over that, I'll use to make the van more of a home.

I do have a settlement coming

It's looking like it's a little over a year out at the earliest. My company rushed several of us to ground zero on 9/11, we had a critical datacenter half a block from the WTC that had to get back up. So we went, and we did it. Then a few years later I was rewarded with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. And since the tumor was in my chest, the radiation used to help stamp it out managed to accidentally get a little bit of my heart. Which is why I have this heart failure.

If it was allowed, I'd pay everyone back and then some - in fact I need to see if I can offer that. So I'll eventually have the money and I'll eventually be working again, but none of that helps me now.

I have to get out of this room now and head off to the woods. I'll update this as often as I can, and show you all a little bit of how we're living. To those of you that give a little to help me, or even a kind word or 2, I greatly appreciate it. You don't know me, you don't owe me anything, yet you still took the time out of your day and for that I am forever grateful.

God Bless.

Jeremy D. Pavleck