A Wing and a Prayer

So this is us, on the raggedy edge...

The last 2 years have been like a tempest, and we've been a leaf on the wind... Torn and blown mercilessly til we're ragged... The only way we've made it is by holding on to each other. Love kept us flying, even when we ought to have fallen from the sky.

We're a small family of 3, my partner and life co-pilot Daniel, our sweet, funny, beautiful daughter Ari, and myself (Jenny, AKA the Spiral J :D). We also have a blind cat and a couple of wayfaring hermit crabs... But that's another story. I've been "blessed" with a menagerie of health issues that pervade every aspect of my life. I have epilepsy, fibromyalgia, scoliosis and spinal degeneration along with some bulging discs, Raynaud's disease, chronic fatigue, and a few other things we haven't even figured out yet... We joke that I lost the genetic lottery. I've not been able to work since I started having severe seizures while working as a cashier in a big box store. The florescent lights are a major trigger, which kinda makes it hard to go anywhere (I don't get out much). My hero and Marine Corp. veteran, Daniel, knew me as I was becoming severely ill, and loved me anyway... Even when others had turned away. He moved across the country to be here with me. We met online, playing a video game of all things! (We're a fun family of geeks, lol!) We've been together for 9 years on April 12th of this year... As I'm posting this, actually.

Daniel has been the sole breadwinner for our little family, but he was injured on the job 2 years ago. He damaged his knee severely while responding to a fire code and carrying a large tank of oxygen while sprinting. He was denied workers comp... which apparently isn't uncommon, but was understandably highly disappointing. We were able to get him on short term disability, and eventually... After they tried everything else, he had to have knee surgery. Unfortunately, he took longer than expected to heal... And he was "involuntary released" from his State job two days before the doctor appointment which would allow him to return on light duty. This particular job also told him he could return at any time, until it became apparent that they had no interest in hiring him back after his injury. He applied for work everywhere... But he was either under qualified or over qualified. He recently secured employment at a local fast food restaurant with the help of an Angel.

Thankfully we've met some Angels along the way who've helped keep us flying a little longer... Til this point. We are so behind on everything that there is no way we can catch up without help. We have exhausted every assistance program, every bill extension, and every family resource possible. Even though Daniel has a job again, his bi-weekly paycheck for 24-30 hours a week has made even buying toilet paper seem like a luxury. So... here we are, on the raggedy edge...

Things we need in order to get back up and stay up:

Get current on our extremely overdue bills... Some of which are endangering the security and and safety of our home. We've been fighting an almost daily battle to keep things turned on, and make sure our home isn't in jeopardy. This has been pretty damaging to our calm, especially with a little one in the house. We are also behind on paying off several doctor bills, one of which is a doctor that I see who isn't covered by my insurance. I haven't been able to go to this doctor for over 6 months now, and I'm struggling with the repercussions of missing those appointments.

Fighting all the overdue bills (and shut off dates) has been a constant panic. All the worry and stress has definitely had a negative impact on my epilepsy. I've been having daily complex partial and nocturnal seizures, with a few tonic-clonic (grand mal) seizures around hormone shifts. I experience seizure activity in my frontal and temporal lobes, which is damaging to both my short and long term memory. I feel like I've lost so many memories (this last year especially) from heightened seizure activity brought on by stress... The most heartbreaking of which is the loss of time spent with my daughter as she continues to grow into an amazing little human being...

Unfortunately, we've reached a breaking point with how far overdue everything is, and the situation has become extremely critical. Currently we owe about $4,000 USD for multiple severely past due bills, including utilities and doctor bills. Getting caught up and current will make it so we can stand on our own again, even with our meager paycheck. We don't buy anything extra, we keep a tight budget, and we don't get out much... Lol!

Even though I might make a few jokes, our situation is genuinely serious. But, I've cried an awful lot... And my face hurts. So, I thought... Maybe I should try to laugh a little?

We also desperately need to get some work done on our car before it breaks down again. I affectionately named our car Master Chief (from the Halo game series). This is a vehicle that I wished for... for a long time. A car that was tough as nails, and dependable... Didn't matter what it looked like. This wish came to me in the form of a military green Subaru with a cracked windshield! Thus, Master Chief became our legendary car. I even got him a Halo Spartan decal for the hood, though it's a bit worn now. During all the chaos between Daniel and his work, Master Chiefs wheel almost came off, and he became undrivable. I imagined him, sitting immovable in the front yard, like the scene in Halo 3 when he fell from space and his armor locked up on impact. Not dead, just waiting. An Angel at Social Services helped us get him going again through a car repair program, which was amazing!

Master Chief runs now, but still needs some work so he doesn't lock up again. He looks a little rough and battle worn on the outside, but his heart is still true. We need to fix the power steering, which is making a weird noise when you turn the wheel, and fix the alternator, which fails every so often. Luckily, it's failed pretty close to home so far, but we can't drive it anywhere further away. Chief also needs an oil change and a set of tires. Even a good set of used tires would be extremely helpful, since new tires are so expensive. He just needs a little more TLC. We are looking at a repair bill of about $1,000 USD.

If Chief breaks down again, we are up the proverbial creek without a paddle... Or a boat.

And finally, we need to get some much needed repairs done on our house, which has fallen into shambles during Daniels injury. We joke that he "took an arrow to the knee"(Skyrim humor)! Humor aside, it really has made it difficult to do a lot of much needed repairs on and around our house. Currently our home repair cost comes to about $1,000 USD.

If you've read this far... thank you for your time and consideration. Please know that my little family and I are in your hands, and any help, small or large, will make a positive impact on our situation. I will make regular updates as things progress, so you'll know that your contribution, if you so choose, has accomplished something important and helpful towards our recovery and stability. Even if you are only able to share our story with others, you are deeply appreciated. ❤️

What we're going through right now makes me think of a profound quote from the Firefly series... a quote that was likely inspired by a speech from Martin Luther King Jr... "When you can't run, you crawl, and when you can't crawl... When you can't even do that... You find someone to carry you." Thank you again for taking the time to read this. Any help at all would be real shiny, and would go a long way towards keeping us flying... Raggedy edges and all.