The Farabee's and bvFTD - Help Us!

This Go Fund me will not be your typical request for money.  There are many requests on here for family with dementia and even some specifically for bvFTD. But this request goes a little deeper.
 
The story of my Heart ❤️ boys



I want to tell you a story of sadness, happiness and then tragedy. The story of our little family started 8 years ago when my two Heart❤️Son’s (that is what I call my step-son because ‘step’ is not a word we use in our home) lost their momma to cancer. They were 5 and 6 at the time and their world was torn down around them. They were so lucky to have a Dad who was so involved and was there for their every single need. They were his world. He was completely obsessed with his boys. He struggled along and had some beautiful people help him, nanny’s, aunties and friends. But something was missing, he knew that his babies needed a momma to help raise them the way their own momma would. 

 


This is one of the first pictues of Don and I and it has always been one of my favories as it shows his humor that was always right behind his eyes. 


My Story




That is where my story begins. I was a single mom working, going to school and raising a family of my own. I was doing great but there was always something nagging me that there was just something missing. I dreamed of a man who was successful, owned his own home, had a good job and in my fairy tale world he would drive up in a big white pickup truck and take me away…. Sometimes, if you wait long enough, fairy tales do come true. Mine did! I met the most amazing man who was absolutely everything I ever dreamed he would be. Believe it or not… He literally drove up in a big white pick up truck and swept me off my feet! I was so in Love!  I kept thinking that someone should pinch me and wake me from my dream!  Things were amazing and then I got the bonus of being a heart❤️mom to two of the most amazing boys! Yes our life was a challenge at times but my husband would always say… "Don’t worry, it is going to be ok because you are a Farabee!" I wish I could say I filled that role as a perfect replacement but I am sure I failed in many ways. But my heart was ALWAYS there and I couldn't love them more if I had birthed them myself. Those are my babies and that is never going to change.




This was a dark time for us when we felt Don slipping away from us. 



Changes we never saw coming



Yes we had a crazy life, we had our challenges, being a blended family is NEVER an easy task but we always managed to get through. We were the Farabee’s! Then, a year and half ago things started to change. Don started to have problems, he became depressed and withdrawn, he was having serious anxiety about normal things. The things that he used to be so obsessed with, having a clean house, paying the bills, doing baseball with the boys, became a problem. This went on for a while. I either didn’t want to see or didn’t want to deal with what was wrong, because seriously??? Bad things happen to other people not us. I figured this would just resolve itself. Then one day, after 13 years at the same job, where he had ALWAYS had glowing reviews, Don came home with a review that said he was unable to complete his duties, was unapproachable and needed to figure out how to become a team worker again. He basically had a breakdown and could not understand how this could be happening.  

The very next day we went to the first of many, many doctors’ appointments. Don became worse, his memory was fading, his behavior was becoming very inappropriate and erratic, we were living one crisis after another and it felt like the doctors were not hearing us. Don started to forget things, he would say things that seemed very inappropriate at strange times and we had some VERY tragic things happen in our home. The frustration alone was crushing... "Someone come help us!" My prayers felt as if they were never going to be answered.  

After about 6 months I had to stop working because I was unable to leave my husband alone for fear of the things that might happen when I was gone. Don would cook and leave the stove on or suddenly decide to make MAJOR changes to the house. Life was becoming daunting at best and I was no longer a wife but almost like a mother and he was not having that. He knew he was sick but neither of us could put a finger on one specific thing because so many new things were popping up daily. Trying to tell a grown man what he can and can’t do is no easy feat!




 
“I’m Sorry can you repeat that please?”


After a year and a half, many appointments, many tests, and many Mis-diagnosis we went to a routine appointment.  We had been to this Dr.  a few times before and honestly had no more expectaions from this appt than any before... However, this appointment would rock our world to it’s very core. 



**Let's pause for a moment here... Let’s go back to my heart ❤️babies, the ones who lost their momma when they were only 5 & 6. How do you go home and tell them your world is about to drop out AGAIN?** 



At this appointment we learned the fate of my prince charming. The reports were in and we were told we should get his affairs in order….



Me: “I’m sorry, can you repeat that please?”

Dr.: “I am sorry, the prognosis is very poor and the dr. who did the testing states he has never seen such rapid progress, Mr. Farabee, you should get your affairs in order. We will refer social services to attempt to try to assist you”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you…”

 

One of Don's erratic behavior changes, he went to take a shower and came out with no hair???



While everything we have been going through until now began to make perfect sense… Our life has been forever changed. My ❤️babies who lost their momma will now lose their dad. While it has taken us a few days to wrap our mind around this new information we have made some life decisions. We are making our “Bucket List”.  We have decide that we will now live EVERY day as if it is our last. 






That my friend, is where you come in. My husband and I do not work anymore. His disability is not enough for us to even scrape by with three teenage boys at home. Most of the time we are floating bills from one month to another and having to "write a check" for food to feed the boys.  For whatever reason we have been denied social security twice now and are not sure what the future holds... But we are beyond that now. We are making a list and in the time we have left we are going to go and do EVERYTHING we ever wanted to do. It is not our style to ask for help but I know that I am unable to make these dreams happen by myself.

I have an amazing little makeup business that I am trying to build so that I can help out with our bill but that will never take us to the places we need to be now. We were a upper middle class family, able to provide everything that our family needed, now we are living on less that what people get from welfare. That is NO life at all. I can’t even tell you how many people are trying to garnish what little we have already.

 

Our Christmas in California



Easter Sunday with ALL my boys  ❤️


❤️ One of the most amazing memories we ever made ❤️



Why should you donate to us?

We need your help. We are unable to pay our medical bills let alone be able to let Don go and see his therapist that helps him more than anyone knows. Our insurance wont cover that. While I was working I was able to put out that money every month. More than that, we need help to make these lasting memories for my ❤️boys and their Daddy. Please help us by donating WHAT you can and ANY time that you can.

We will keep this page up until we no longer have a reason to have a “bucket list”. I want to make every minute of my boys life with their dad a memory that they can carry with them long after he is gone.
 




What is bvFTD - Behavioral-variant frontotemporal dementia (bvFTD)


It is a very rare form of early onset dementia, affecting individuals between the ages 40-65. The prognosis is death in 2-20+ years, depending on the speed of progression, with the average lifespan 5-8 years from diagnosis. We are now over 2 years into the progression and Don is deteriorating at an incredible speed. His Neuropsychologist said he had never seen such progression in such a short amount of time.



Here is a link for more information about the disease: 
http://memory.ucsf.edu/ftd/overview/ftd  


Unfortunately - THERE IS NO CURE, it is fatal

 

Please help us on our journey. My goal is to help my ❤️ boys make every memory with their dad the most precious thing they can hold in their hearts. 



Thank you so much for taking the time to read about our cause.
 



Our Amazing Care Team:
Neurologist Team- Dr. Clyde M Finch MD
Neuropsychologist – Reiter Gregg F PHD

Primary Care Provider – Dr. Michael Carroll

Therapist- Alan Wheatley

Donations

 See top
  • Jennifer Peterson 
    • $50 
    • 38 mos
  • Diane Eberhart 
    • $200 
    • 39 mos
  • Karen Rosenow 
    • $300 
    • 39 mos
  • Jennifer Peterson 
    • $20 
    • 39 mos
  • Anonymous 
    • $50 
    • 41 mos
See all

Organizer

Traci Farabee 
Organizer
Portland, OR
  • #1 fundraising platform

    More people start fundraisers on GoFundMe than on any other platform. Learn more

  • GoFundMe Guarantee

    In the rare case something isn’t right, we will work with you to determine if misuse occurred. Learn more

  • Expert advice, 24/7

    Contact us with your questions and we’ll answer, day or night. Learn more