The day before Thanksgiving we got the official diagnosis of what I was dealing with. I have stage 4 colon cancer that has moved into most of my liver. Today we found out the treatments aren't working. The tumors are growing and they have found new ones. They're changing up the treatments and we're praying the change will help. I was told they don't want perform any surgery on me until we're showing progress. Unless things get worse and they don't have a choice. I have lost almost 40 pounds since early December when the treatments started. I'm having constant pains that come and go and don't sleep well.

We have already started reducing our expenditures and made concessions with Capital One to help with the stress. Right now we're in a good place staying with my parents but it gets tight with the four of us living in the same room. Before I got sick, things were great with work and we had a possible opportunity to move to Sacramento, get our own place; something we were working hard for. Right now we're just trying to get by and we need help. I really hate having to ask for it. Right now, we'd like to get our Subaru fixed to try and get us up to the snow. It needs a new rack(steering), CV joint, struts, and tires. I messaged Subaru today in hopes they might help with the repairs. It still gets me around town and to the hospital when we need it, but I can't trust it to get us up to Tahoe. Tahoe is a place that has always grounded me and brought me lots of joy and peace over the years. We have season passes we payed into over last summer and fall but I don't always feel well and getting up there is hard. I am constantly dealing with having to go to the restroom and it's hard when others offer to drive us because canceling on them at the last minute sucks if I don't feel well, or if we have to leave early so I can clean myself up.

I can't stress how hard writing this is for me right now. We have other debts we have been working on and until recently with me needing to step down from work, things were great and on track. But what worries me is if things get even worse, I don't want me or my family having to worry about the bills we still have. I would also use the money for therapeutic oncology massages. A good friend spend two hours driving to give me one and I felt amazing afterwards.

I really do not want people to feel they have to donate or share this. We will get by no matter what, but at this point, help would be great.