Hey,

If you know me then you probably know about a lot of stuff that has happened in my life recently, if you don’t know me then let me tell you all about how my life has been turned upside down.

In 2022, upon returning home from a family holiday in November we found that the master bedroom window was falling out of the frame due to a gigantic crack right down the front of our rental property, the landlord wanted us to vacate the property for 3 months while essential works were done and would ‘reduce’ our rent to do so. We couldn’t afford to pay for somewhere to stay, and also we had five pets and a one year old baby to take care of so we made the decision to jump ship and we moved about an hour away to be nearer to my parents. We didn’t have a long time to find somewhere to live and took the first house that was available to us, and we moved in a week before Christmas, this is when my mental health and my marriage started to decline.

I spent the majority of 2023 in post-partum depression; my son was in nursery full time by 6 months old as I worked full time and I continued working full time in IT security up until I was made redundant in January 2024. The reason given for them choosing me out of my team was because of my mental state. (illegal, but happened non the less) this was a massive knock to my self worth and my self confidence and I spiralled further into depression, resulting in an overdose.

In 2024, I had a mental breakdown at work after repeatedly having my CPTSD triggered by employers who refused to listen to occupational health when they assessed the workplace and the role I had and what they had to do to support me and my health conditions. My husband and I decided that I needed to take a break, so I became a full time mum to our two year old son and took care of the housework, etc.

After this, we started to struggle for money, my ex was in control of all of our finances and I had to ask for any money to be able to spend on either myself, my son or anything else for that matter. At this point in life I had made a following on Threads and discussed starting an OnlyFans account on which I would build Lego in lingerie. This was working well for a while, and this money was mine and mine alone, I would often post about how the money I earned would pay for me to take my son out on trips and buy him things etc. My husband, decided that he was suspicious of the amount of money I was making and made a fake account to message me on OnlyFans and catfish me to see if I would send him something he deemed inappropriate – I didn’t, by the way.

This, and all of the aforementioned unfortunate situations was causing a breakdown in our marriage and in March of 2025 he turned to me and said he was done, with this, with me, with us and he left. He said he would cover the bills for that month and then I was on my own.

May of 2025 I started a new relationship with a wonderful man, who supported me through this and what I had coming for me in the next few months and still continues to support me to this day.

In August, I was told that my landlord that she had sold the house and was closing the deal in 12 days and I had to be out (again, illegal, but I digress) and I contacted my letting agency, who helped to find me a house that was ready for me to move straight into. However, the rent in this property was £100 more a month. To say I felt pushed into this decision as a single mother with a small child is an understatement and everything was very rushed. I had to pay £800 in deposit fees, my first months rent and other fees upfront and by the time I had completed the house move I was over £2000 in debt.

After moving out of that house, she refused to refund my deposit and I had to fight for it back, eventually losing £170 of the £800 deposit refund, £400 of which I had to pay to my ex husband too.

In September I went back to school to get my level three in SEND support in hopes of becoming a TA, my boyfriend started spending more time here to look after my son while I was at school and helping me around the house, but this of course drove bills up due to accommodating an extra person, and I started to short fall the bills by a little each month, which has had a knock on effect.

In December, my cat Jasper unexpectedly passed away on Christmas day, leaving me with another £185 bill I wasn’t in a position to be able to pay and resulting in even more debt. We couldn’t afford to do Christmas so I put most of the shopping on a credit card which has remained maxed out ever since.

In January I was surprised with a bill from my gas company for £1300 stating that I had used on average, a years worth of gas in just six weeks in November/December. I am still currently fighting this charge, as there were gas works being done on the road we live on during this period of time and there is no way we used that gas even if we had the heating on constantly for the whole six weeks.

Last week, I found a letter for a court summons for myself because apparently there was outstanding council tax on the old house that my ex hadn’t paid when he moved out and because we also moved I never received any of the notices, so my choices were go to court or pay the outstanding amount, so now I’m £133 more in debt.

On the 6th of Jan I was due to have a job centre appointment over the phone, however once it had got an hour passed the time, I messaged them to say nobody has called me. I got a reply on the 12th saying that I missed my appointment and had to reschedule, I rescheduled the appointment for the first one they had available which was 22 days after my original appointment. I went to this appointment, and he told me my sanction was ended and mentioned nothing else so I figured that it was okay, until my appointment today where I queried it and he said I was sanctioned for 22 days at £13 a day. Despite there being evidence on my journal that I have had issues with them not being able to call and on three separate occasions have it in writing that I only want in person appointments, they have deemed this ‘not an appropriate excuse’ and have refused to do anything about it, so even though I don’t get enough to cover the bills as it is, I will now be getting about £260 deducted from my February pay.

My parents have been helping as much as they can, but two weeks ago my dad suffered a heart attack and a stroke and was sent to a hospital that is over an hour from my house, I was running back and forth to get him things he needed, to make sure he was being visited while he was in there and to take my son to see his grandad, this bus fare alone was £12 a day. He has come home from hospital this afternoon, but obviously has to completely change his life going forward. The stroke has left him with impaired vision and at this point we are unsure whether he will be able to drive.

My parents sold their house in 2023 and moved into a static caravan on a holiday park in the middle of the countryside, however to live there 365 days a year they legally need a home address, to which they use mine, which means to all intents and purposes they live in my house. This has given me limitations on what financial aid is available to me such as single tax reductions etc. This also means that they are now completely cut off as neither of them can drive to get groceries or anything else they may need.

In the coming months, it is likely that I will have to travel to them on public transport, the nearest bus stop is 15 miles away so I will need to get a taxi to the park which will obviously rack up a lot of money that I one, do not have and have no other avenues to pull it from.

My ex husband and I have 50/50 custody which means he does not need to pay me any child support, but I look after our son on days he is working and has nobody else to help look after him, and on these days he will pay me £10 a day to do so. Our son currently isn’t in nursery due to us moving house at the start of the term and the nurseries within walking distance having no spaces available, and he is due to start school in September.

I have currently signed on to a teaching agency and have been waiting for all of my paperwork to arrive, now I need to pay £85 for my DBS check so that I can start my role, this again is money I don’t have going spare but is the only thing preventing me from starting my new job, which will provide (hopefully) enough income to get me back on my feet.

So, as you can see I have had a tough couple of years and this has all been building up for a long time and creating a snowball effect, I am now in debt up to my ears and I have bills bouncing every month and I am just a mum who is trying her best to keep a roof over her kids head.

My boyfriend recently moved in with us, however due to his health conditions he is not in a position to be able to work at the moment and contributes anything and everything he can to our household, but he also has his own financial duties, the main of which is seeing his daughter for his days every other weekend, his daughter lives an hour away from us which means he has to pay for train fare and hotel stays just to be able to see her, then he also needs to feed both her and himself for two days while he’s with her and of course he wants to take her out to do things and not just sit in a hotel room for 48 hours.

I always try and support him with money wherever I can, as he does for me but as a unit we are spread incredibly thin and it is wearing us down so here I am, swallowing my pride and asking for help. So if you could share this around for me please I would be extremely grateful.