Brain Cancer and Dreams

Hello. My name is Roshan, I'm 26 years old, and I'm creating this fundraiser for a few different reasons. To help my with my brain cancer and to seek joy again.

 

In 2019, I was diagnosed with a high grade 2 astrocytoma brain tumor. I had surgery to remove most of the tumor, but it is impossible to take 100% of tumor cells removed. I was then diagnosed with epilepsy due to the damage caused by the tumor. Another side effect was that my memory and my language (speech, word-finding, and ability to learn) were impacted. I continued to have seizures over time, and I went to the ER more than how many times I could count.

 

I lost the ability to live a normal life of a 26-year-old. I constantly live in fear of having a seizure, thinking if I had one that was really bad, it would be irreversible and permanent damage. I couldn't party as my friends did, I couldn't stay up too late, I couldn't get too stressed, I couldn't learn or comprehend large, new ideas, and the list went on and on. I went from feeling like a fun-loving youthful adult to one that was unable to do the things that everyone my age does. I feel like, what most people call the best years of your life, was taken away from me. I did manage to go on some vacations and see new places, with this overwhelming and general sense of fear all over me. I enjoy photography and videography more than anything else, and I have for at least the last ten years. So I took photos, videos, time-lapses, and such as much as I could. One, so because I've always enjoyed doing so. But two, it helped with my memory loss.

 

After my first surgery, I was told there would be a 50% chance that the tumor could return. So I hoped and prayed it wouldn't come back and tried to live a "normal" life. I tried my best, at least.

 

In 2021, we found the tumor returned. And it grew back quickly, and it grew much larger than the first time. My doctors thought it could still be a grade 2 tumor, and there was a small chance it could be a grade 3 due to the progression of its growth. After my second surgery, which went hours longer than expected, the results showed that I now have a grade 4 astrocytoma, as aggressive and invasive as tumors get. I didn't expect to hear that. I didn't even think that was possible for me. But as my life has shown, I've been "winning" the lottery. As such, in February, I will be starting radiation and chemotherapy to do everything we can to destroy the cancerous cells.

 

I'll also be starting speech therapy. So more bills.

 

Along with the same side effects of the first surgery speech and memory issues, I have also developed a vision cut field, where my right eye has very weak depth perception and peripheral vision. In 2019, the tumor was only in the temporal lobe, but it has spread to the parietal and occipital lobes. More tests, vision therapy, special prism glasses, and more bills.

 

On the topic of chemotherapy, it is strongly advised that patients freeze their sperm if they plan to have a biological child(ren) in the future. And ever since I was a kid, I've always wanted children; my dream being two biological children and one adopted. So I went to a fertility clinic, and I tried to do so.

 

But I couldn't. My reproductive endocrinologist and my urologists did not find any sperm in my body. We are still unaware of the issue, but just a few days ago, I underwent surgery to retrieve sperm directly from the testicles hopefully. And still, there were none to be found. I was, and I am still in shock. I will be getting more answers within the next week. Moreover, more issues, more tests, more procedures, and more bills.

 

I'm still fighting. I will not let all of these issues defeat me. I am still strong. But I have lost hope as hope leaves to disappointment, and I do not know if I have any other disappointment in me; I am drained.

 

With the time in my recovery, I have started to work on my photography and videography. I started a website, I just created a company, and, to the best of my ability, I plan to enjoy my passion and try to monetize. My medical bills have been piling up for years, and so many bills have gone into collections. 

 

I have the strength, with the help of my wonderful friends and families, and I have the passion to follow my love of photography, but I do not have the financial backing to deal with everything. I just want to feel secure and happy again.

 

This is why I have created this GoFundMe. To pay back my medical bills and to buy purchasing new gear so I can enjoy my passion in whatever time I have left on this Earth. None of us know if we will tomorrow, but I have a higher chance of not doing so than the average person.

I want to heal mentally and physically, move on from the past, and look forward to a bright and healthy feature. And I would not be able to do that without your help. I would really appreciate it if you would share this with those who you know. Thank you all.