Heather was diagnosed with breast cancer in March of this year that is the result of a rare gene mutation in her Chek2 gene. This puts her at a high risk for breast and colon. Cancer. She had surgery in May to remove both breasts, but there was still positive margins. She endured 33 radiation treatments and has been on leave during this whole time and has gone three months with no pay as she has exhausted her leave. She still needs two more surgeries but won’t be able to have those until May. The day she finished radiation her son came home with excruciating pain in his ankle and had to have emergency surgery a week later. Their story is below, let’s help get them the help they need. They have a large storage bill that they need paid and with no money coming in she said she may lose it all. 

 She has battled this cancer like a warrior and she still has many more battles to face since she has a gene mutation that puts her at a higher risk for other types of cancer. And Joey has been by her side to take care of her every step of the way. They are struggling right now to make ends meet and have a mountain of medical bills piling up from heathers surgery and treatments and Caleb’s surgery and treatments. 

Her son, Caleb is a Senior this year and we all know the cost associated with having a senior. She sat and cried when she saw the pictures and has no idea how she will be able to afford them. Ow And she has no money for Christmas for Caleb. 

I hope if you are reading this that you consider donating to this family. They are salt of the earth people and have walked a rough road the past six months and still have some obstacles to cross ahead. 

Heather has used all of her leave and has been without a paycheck on unpaid leave for the past three months. After 33 rounds of radiation she has been exhausted.  They have used all of their savings and she is now having to go in the office five days a week since she has been out so much. She told me she didn’t know how they were going to be able to do it. She said if she can’t get to work that she may lose her job. The medical bills are growing. She still has two more surgeries to endure. They are in risk of losing the little bit left that they have. My friends are in need and I know they help anyone they can so let’s help them!

Heather shared this the other day and I want to share it here:

I have to get this off my chest (no pun intended) lol…. and I haven’t started my blog yet (procrastinating) but here goes so bare with me y’all and I know it’s a long post….I will call it ”When you only have a thread to hang onto, fold it in half!”

Some days are better than others aren’t they? If you could have told me that in the upcoming year that I would face some of the hardest, gut wrenching, hair pulling, crying like a baby, moments of my life I would have asked you what kool aid you had been drinking.

 Life was perfect, well perfect for me. Because at 48, I had been through some epic rebounds of life. Almost worthy of a best selling novel. At least a lifetime movie deal….But I never imagined the pain I would endure physically, spiritually and mentally the past 12 months. Last fall two weeks prior to football season Caleb hurt his ankle. We go through the season and had surgery in December to replace the ligaments in his ankle. He played but not to his full potential, but he played and gave all he could. About the time he was released to start practice in March, I found the cancer in my breast. The weeks that followed are a blur, but lots of tests, drs, results, schedule lumpectomy, no wait single mastectomy, phone call, something called Chek2 mutation, high risk. Double mastectomy. Whew…..but wait we might have a small positive margins…..ok…..33 radiation treatments later and now hormone replacement therapy the next ten years…… I thought the worst had come, but I was mistaken. I guess God has a wicked sense of humor or maybe he felt we needed more to keep us busy. The very same day I finished radiation, Caleb came home in excruciating pain and couldn’t bear weight on his ankle. A week later we had emergency surgery to remove “non absorbable” sutures and clean out an infection. That’s what the dr says, but no one has answered why were they there in the first place. Doc says A few weeks off of it and he would be good to go. not so fast there, Trigger. The cast came off and we were all in shock. He had a open wound. Battling healing we finally get to a wound care clinic and find a suture still in the wound. Placed on a wound vac and failing to get a home health to get on our schedule I become a wound care mom changing this vac every three days then everyday as he started to be allowed to practice again. I can’t tell you how much my heart has been broken to watch all this happen to Caleb. I have tried to be strong, but I have cried at every game and finally this weekend had my breaking point. If you know us you know how close Caleb and I are. And this is “THE” year we had both waited for. It was going to be his spotlight perfect senior year. The one this mom has watched her son work so hard for. Starting middle linebacker at a 7a school. Boy we were ready. Then this…..And I am mad, mad that he has been robbed of an amazing season, mad that cancer took my focus away and maybe I would have recognized he was hurting sooner. Watching this kid who has walked through so much adversity in his life to still face it today. I can’t even talk about it without my throat burning holding back the anger and heartbreak for my son. And I can’t fix it. Absolutely the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life ever. 

I have been depressed, a raging crazed emotional train wreck and I can’t seem to pick myself up out of it. I am mad at cancer. That’s putting it lightly. I hate cancer. I want to punch it straight in the gut and watch it die unmercifully. I don’t know how much more we can take y’all.

Which brings me to my story I want to share. I sent this to my mom and sis not too long back and it sums up pretty much where I am at. I have really been praying this week and the other morning while I was enjoying my coffee my answer was in the form of a beautiful blue bird and a wretched woodpecker. And I compared my life to these two birds. 

The blue bird was digging for worms and hopping around and probably had a little family in a nest somewhere and he was hard at work gathering worms and flying off and coming back. And chirping the whole time. I thought about life before March 17. That blue bird was me. Busy. Busy with everything. And then I hear this awful loud drilling sound of a ugly big ole woodpecker. I looked up and this woodpecker was right up in the pine tree and making that loud sound tapping on the wood. The blue bird noticed too and kept a watchful eye but went to gathering more worms. This woodpecker showed up a few weeks ago and we have tried to run it off because they can do some damage. But it is a protected and endangered bird. So all you can do is to try to chase it off. But he hasn’t left yet. As I am standing there debating on throwing a rock at him, he almost ungracefully falls down the tree. I guess he flew, but it sure wasn’t pretty. And I got a closeup look at him. He sure didn’t look like Woody the woodpecker. He was big and brownish gray looking and just ugly. The blue bird has gone now and it was just me and the pecker. I tried to shoo him away but he just looked at me and defiantly almost started tapping the wood again. I thought how dare he come up this close and do this? I thought about throwing a towel I had near by at him and trying to capture him and take him far away. But he flew off to a few trees down and I couldn’t see him but I could still hear him. I looked back around and the blue bird was gone and now there was a mockingbird and robin there squawking at each other.

 I sat down and was thinking of ways to get away with killing the woodpecker and that’s when it hit me. The woodpecker represented cancer. Just comes in and destroys things and sometimes it is irreparable. The way cancer does. Then I said what the hell Heather these are birds and you are not a bird. Stop this silliness of comparison and do something constructive. So here is why I know this came from God and he had to put it with the birds or I wouldn’t get it to tell you and others. So I googled how to get rid of woodpeckers and the first article I start to read talks about you have to start with prevention. Because they are much harder to get rid once the basically claim territory. So you can do a lot of things to not make the environment so habitable and potentially save alot of time and money if you prevent them from making it their home.

 That’s when all the lights started flashing and I thought I just hit bank. It was gods way of telling me to tell you that you still have time to prevent the woodpeckers from building a nest and causing damage. Because of my cancer maybe everyone will be getting tested more often and catching things way sooner than we ever would if I had not gotten cancer. But I am so thankful this didn’t have to happen to one of you yet. 

There is a silent side of cancer that most people don’t get to see. Most people know of the side effects treatment can cause, but that’s it. I am seriously considering doing a blog or something to talk about all the silent side effects of cancer. The ones that are uncomfortable to hear about and even harder to see. The physical aspect is one thing, but I seriously don’t know what cancer doesn’t touch in some form or fashion. 

We have expended all of our savings and I still haven’t been able to complete a full week at work because I am just tired and overwhelmed and frustrated. I have been brought to my lowest low by a horrible human who made me feel like pond scum for trying to pay for gas with change and  brought to tears by unwavering kindness and support from family and some strangers.

 But cancer was the root of all of this. The financial strain it burdens the family with is one thing that doesn’t get talked about much, nor does the guilt cancer patients go through like being a lone survivor in a plane wreck brings. The self image of yourself and the crazy talks you have with your self. The hours spent trying on twenty different outfits to just sit in the floor and cry because nothing , nothing fits right. The friends that avoid you because they are scared. The forgetfulness to do the simplest task. Missing out on activities or doing anything for that matter because nothing is like it was before and most likely never will be because Cancer has changed you. 

And there are all these so called organizations out there raising money for breast cancer and “helping” cancer patients etc, but I have spent days and countless hours doing all that they say to do and waiting anxiously to see if we can get some assistance to be told we don’t qualify for some reason or we didn’t do it right. There should be a simpler way.

 But bottom line is we all still have each other and trust me if that’s all I ever have again, I will take it. But I don’t want this photo to have to be one of you. (Photo is not provided here due to graphic nature) But this is the part no one sees. But I want to show this side of it because I really think being real about it and talking about the hard stuff is needed these days. We have watered it down so much I believe that women like me think it won’t happen to them. We have made it pretty wrapped in pink, and don’t get me wrong I love pink and wear it proudly, but it’s a huge business now. I have come to terms with the gene thing for myself and in a way I am glad. It’s kind of like finally getting your ancestry results. .

So I have been barely holding on and today I decided to fold that thread in half and hold on to the as much good in life that I can. It may not be the season or year or outcome we wanted, BUT the alternative was …….I could not be here now to watch him at all….

Wait…..did you hear what I said? When I thought about that, I stopped in my tracks and got on my knees and thanked God that I get to be here today. I am going to continue folding that thread in half and accepting what it is right now knowing it could have never been.

I hope this gives you motivation and strength to fight like a girl and maybe a little humor this morning! Feel free to share because someone like me might need to hear this! #whenpigsfly.