Helping a Helpful Man, Tony DeMaria Sr.

My father, Tony DeMaria, Sr., has been battling life-threatening illnesses for over three decades. He has reached a point where he can no longer provide for himself in terms of basic expenses. This fundraiser is a request for assistance from the community he has selflessly served throughout his life.

My dad was born and spent the early years of his life in Altha, FL, a small town his family founded. He moved to Tallahassee in his early teens and attended Raa Middle School followed by Leon High School. He started a hair salon in his early twenties and was in business as a hairdresser for over 40 years in Tallahassee. And, although that is a great accomplishment, that is not what has been his most meaningful achievement.

In 1981, he made the inescapable decision that he was powerless over alcohol. He committed his life to recovery and to creating a life that served others in their recovery. Back then, the fear, shame, anger, and confusion of being a part of the LGBTQ community drove many people to the point of hiding and turning to alcohol abuse as a solution. My dad didn't know it, but he was in the unique position of being a rare beacon of light and hope for so many people in desperate need of connection and support. So much so that it's not unusual for someone to contact me on social media to tell me their story about how he saved their life and that they are forever grateful.

Also in 1981, an ominous disease began its spread throughout the world and to many in the gay community. In 1985, my father contracted this virus and began a lifelong struggle to stay alive while friends and family were dying. I truly believe my father's dedication to helping others recover and thrive when they were at rock bottom served as a healing force that prolonged his life. Around 2004, he was given another challenge: an accidental vertebral fracture revealed he had bone cancer. Again, his unwavering trust in a higher power and devotion to helping others carried him forward.

Now in his late seventies, his selfless generosity and the toll of disease, cancer therapies, and experimental antiviral drugs have left him confronting a multitude of serious physical and mental health issues (recent ER visits revealed that he has blood cancer and onset dementia). He is struggling to meet basic needs in the later part of his life. My brother has been a powerful source of support for my dad for many years and recently, I have tried to relieve some of that responsibility with financial support and medical coordination. Unfortunately, the situation has become increasingly dire--his car was repossessed this month (his roommate drove him to get groceries, go to meetings, etc.) and the possibility of foreclosure in a few months is looming. He has all this to worry about and he just started weekly chemotherapy. I am reaching out to anyone willing to help and those people whose lives were transformed by the generosity of my father in their time of need. All donations will go directly to food, transportation, shelter, utilities, and medical expenses. Anyone who would like more detailed information or has questions should feel free to contact me.

If you ever wanted to acknowledge a human who gave his time, money, wisdom, and life to assist others who struggled with the issues he overcame, this is it.

Thank you,

Tony, Jr.