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Nobody is prepared to die. Even If you have been sick for a long time, even if you’re 75, 89 or 100. As ridiculous as it may seem, we always resist death. Even though death is the only sure thing in all our lives, we resist. For many reasons: fear of the unknown, fear of leaving behind your current life, fear of losing the connection with your loved ones. Reflecting upon your life, what you did or did not accomplish, what you did wrong, the harms you caused yourself and others. Watching your life pass by is rough, fighting for your life even harder. As I write these words, thousands probably millions of people are having this experience. My name is David, and I am writing these words, because this is happening to someone I care about dearly, Doug, my good friend and mentor, who on October 11th was diagnosed with stage 3 bladder cancer.
Let me tell you about Doug: He is a loving human being, devoted husband who cooks for his wife, Irene, daily, has raised and cared for his adopted daughter, Katie, and walks his 3 rescue dogs, Jack, Mobi and Lucy every day. He’s a hard worker, careering over 50 years, who put himself through school and practiced guitar every day for over 55 years. He spent his life and continues to have a thirst for knowledge. But most importantly he is a compassionate and sensitive man who even with all the above has always found the time to accompany dozens of people in recovery, helping with saving their lives.
To me, Doug is a gentle man, with a great sense of humor, a contagious laugh and a wonderful small selection of colorful flat shoes and socks that always make me smile and of which I’m also slightly jealous . He has helped me in so many ways and I am so thankful for his presence in my life. When I imagine the worst and think of his tomb, the words I see are: “Here lies a man that spent his life is service of his family and his communities”
We have all heard about cancer and the awful side effects that chemotherapy and radiation bring. But we can never really understand what happens to the body and to the life of a cancer patient. All I know for sure is what I see and what Doug tells me, that I care about Doug, and I want to be a soldier in his battle, shoulder the burden of a man that even when facing death is more concerned with his wife’s well-being then his own state. I want to help him have a smoother process, whatever the outcome. But to really make a difference we need your help:
Doug cannot afford his treatment and his savings are being depleted. You can influence Doug’s life and wellbeing if you choose to join me and others that are part of his battle. He will be able to afford his treatment and have a fighting chance. Help me give Doug this opportunity, with your contribution and the grace of God he will be able to continue his work with others even as he faces his own life-threatening challenges. Have no doubt, your part here is saving lives.
YOU can help by:
1. GIVE whatever you can. No donation is too small –
2. Follow our Facebook page www.facebook.com/helpdougdefeatcancer, click follow, share and ask your family and friends to follow and repost.
3. SHARE our GoFundMe and Facebook pages on social media, https://www.gofundme.com/f/helpdougdefeatcancer #dougdefeatcancer
4. EMAIL this page - www.gofundme.com/f/helpdougdefeatcancer - to your family + friends.
See "The Cancer”, “More About Doug”, and “Cost Details” below
The Cancer
This past September while Doug was visiting his twin brother, Don, who lives in the U.S. and is also battling cancer, Doug started noticing blood in his urine. By the end of the 10-day trip he was having trouble passing blood clots while urinating.
Upon his return to Mexico, he immediately contacted his GP and urologist, Dr. Victor Calva. After an array of tests, a tumor was revealed and Doug was diagnosed with bladder cancer.
On October 11, a biopsy was performed, during which the entire tumor was luckily removed. A week later the pathology report showed the cancer to have spread into 90% of bladder tissue. The diagnosis is now bladder cancer stage 3.
Doug shared with me, “It was at that point, when ongoing chemo and radiation was necessary, that we (Irene and Doug) realized that we needed help from our friends; we simply couldn’t afford the treatment.”
Doug and Irene have Medicare part A, which covers hospitalization but not part B which covers doctors and treatment. Doug has applied for Medicare part B but cannot get it on time to start the treatment. He was told in no uncertain terms by the various doctors that he does not have the time to wait for the coverage or the typical several week wait for appointments in the US. The doctors are trying to avoid the cancer moving into the lymphatic system and by starting radiation and chemo immediately there is a better chance of success.
On November 3 Doug started his first, six-and-a-half-week course of radiation, five times a week; additionally, he receives chemo once a week. On top of the financial and physical toll, the treatments are an hour and a half away from his home.
In the past few weeks every time I talked with Doug, he never spoke of any fear of death. Doug’s greatest fear is for his wife, Irene’s, wellbeing, if worst comes to worst, as he watches the little savings he accumulated being depleted and gone.
Thankfully, the doctors in Mexico allow for his treatment to be paid week by week. Otherwise, he would not have been able to get started with his life-saving treatment.
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More About Doug
Doug has been active in service in the addiction recovery community for over 25 years in which he’s helped a multitude of people to get better. Anyone who is familiar with the 12 step recovery system knows that this is truly a matter of life and death, and Doug has helped dozens of people survive their illness and live a better healthier and mor fulfilled life. I can’t say enough about this man who has dedicated so much and continues to dedicate his time to others no matter the toll his treatments are taking.
Doug is a devoted husband who celebrated their 55th anniversary in August and father to his adopted daughter, 27-year-old Katie who is a jewelry maker. He is an avid musician and has practiced playing guitar for over 55 years. In October 2021, for his 74th birthday, Doug’s wife, Irene, and he, decided he would receive a long-time desired handmade guitar as a birthday gift.
After 50 years of working in property insurance, putting himself through culinary school and working in the food industry and lastly as Technical Sales Account Manager in the Laser Micromachining field, he finally retired in Mexico where he and his wife, Irene, could afford the living costs on their fixed retirement incomes.
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Cost Details
The funds collected here will help Doug cover his medical costs and keep his small savings account for whatever future needs he or Irene might have.
His expenses so far:
- Doctor visits and initial tests (blood, Xray, CT Scan) - $1,000 USD approx.
- Biopsy surgery - $9,244 USD
- Prescription medication - $500 USD
- CT simulation - $340 USD
- 6-week Radiation - $8,055
- 6-week Chemo - $3,122
So far $22,261
Future expenses include:
- 2nd round of radiation and chemo - $ 11,177 USD
- 2nd Biopsy - $8,000 USD
- Weekly blood tests - $600 USD
- CT Scans - $150 each
- Medication a prescription drugs – $1,500 USD approx.
Total $21,727 USD
Additional costs still unknown
- Immunotherapy – up to $9,000 a month
- Transportation
- Possible need for a 3rd round of chemo and radiation.
- Unknown medication
- Possible hired help in the house.
- Unforeseen expenses.
On top of financial aid Doug will need help with
- Meal preparation
- Drivers to take him back and forth for radiation and chemo
- Run errands
- Doug, being a spiritual man, I know he would love to be in your prayers.
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Thank you so much for any donation or contribution you can give in helping #dougdefeatcancer.
Organizer and beneficiary
Douglas Pulfer
Beneficiary