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Hi, I'm Zero. I'm a divorced single mom to an incredible kid that we call Bug.
I keep our true names off of the public internet for safety reasons. I also will not show Bug's face.
Bug has expressed to us that they are "a girl". Bug is the sweetest child you could ever meet. They have never met a stranger. Everyone who knows Bug loves them. Their smile brightens a room, as cliche as that sounds, and their laughter is my favorite sound. They are a ball of joy and energy who loves Pokemon, superheroes, Sonic, sparkles, and pretty dresses. They love to make art, play video games, and do science experiments. Their favorite color has been black since they learned what colors were. They like to sing Drunken Sailor and Surface Pressure from Encanto. In the car, Bug will roll down their window to wave and yell “hello” at people walking down the street. In the store, they greet almost everyone they see.
My ex-husband and I reacted differently to Bug’s gender expression. I support my child's self-expression, no matter what. My child's gender doesn't matter to me. So long as Bug is happy, healthy, kind, honest, and safe, I'll feel like I'm doing an ok job. Bug's father believes that "genitalia = gender" and has filed a modification of custody case against me.
Legal proceedings are expensive. I have a great firm representing me, and I'm doing everything I can in order to fight for my child. Bug has their own lawyer, for which I am grateful. I am responsible for half of the costs for Bug’s lawyer as well as the full cost of my own lawyer.
I'm reaching out and asking for help.
I believe that being with me would create a more supportive environment for Bug to explore the world and learn to be themselves - whomever that may be.
I just love my kid. It's that simple.
A modification of custody case is ongoing. I am only able to speak of the ongoing litigation if it is in the public record.
I have lost primary custody on a temporary basis
The school Bug was previously attending was one of the best in the state, but he will be transferring to one with significantly less funding and resources. Bug needs some accommodations for speech therapy as well as ADHD. Resources for both of these were well-funded at his previous school. We are also prohibited from using female pronouns or dressing Bug in “girl” clothing (even if Bug picked them out).
All I want is for my child to thrive. I want them to be set up for success, and have the best life possible.
Regardless of my situation, transgender children exist. They are under threat, and often in danger of unaliving or being unalived. It is important to be informed and show support to these kids.
If you would like to know more about the science supporting transgender youth, I have added some links to peer-reviewed articles below:
Past-Year Suicidal Ideation Among Transgender Individuals in the United States
Mental Health of Transgender Children Who Are Supported in Their Identities - AAP