UPDATE: By all accounts from her doctors, my mom is in her final days.

She has lost over half her starting body weight, she is conscious for only minutes a day, and she has terrible convulsions and even vomiting during the night.

Her memory is gone, she won't eat, and even water often makes her vomit. When I sit with her, I can feel that she's nearly gone, or in some ways gone already.

She hasn't even passed yet, and I'm already getting calls from the state, from her medical insurance, and from administrators trying to find out who is going to clear her medical balances or pay for her cremation.

Cremation alone costs between $800-$1600. My mother doesn't have life insurance, or burial insurance, or any of that. She's from a little town in Jamaica where we burn or bury our dead on our own land.

Every day, most of the day, I feel the apprehension of getting the call that she's gone - and the onslaught of debts and responsibilities that will come before her body is even cold.

Most of the time, I don't even know what to think. All I feel is the pain.

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UPDATE: Mom's condition has been worsening by the day.

On 07/02/2024, she left the house while I was working an event at night, wandered the neighborhood, and was eventually discovered by the owners of a local grocery store. Berkeley PD was able to bring her home, despite her dementia being so severe that she didn't know what city she lives in.

On 07/06/2024, she went missing again. This time during the day. It took several hours, and the combined efforts of three police departments to eventually locate her wandering in a back yard miles away in Emeryville.

After coming home from that incident, she collapsed in the livingroom, had trouble staying awake, and needed to be taken to the ER.

She is currently at Alta Bates Medical Center.

I have been able to find a new apartment that would allow me to supervise her more closely, but we need your help to afford the move in expenses and retrofit to the apartment to make it safe for her.

Help with our Wish List for moving her!

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I've never done a fundraiser for anything other than a business, and definitely never asked my community for help for myself. But what my family is going through right now is an unprecedented moment in an already hard life.

I included this portrait I took of my mom years ago, because I feel like it truly captures the depth and power that my mom has as a person.

At the beginning of the year, my mom "Zenaba" was hospitalized after she endured a severe never and neurological episode. When she was being released, her medical team made it clear that there would likely be a lasting neurological impact - but we were all hopeful we would have more time.

About three weeks ago, her mind started to show signs of another impending episode. She'd forget what she was doing, become irritable, or talk about the same thing over and over.

From then until now, the change in her mind and behavior has become so severely different from the intelligent and radiant woman she has always been. She spends her days totally confused and afraid. She gets into loops of repetitive words and actions. She is filled with paranoia and rarely understands what's happening.

She is truly a shell of her former self and it's so heartbreaking to see.

I work two full-time jobs, and when I'm away from the house I have to leave notes on a white board in the living room so that she knows where I am and when I will return - often times she will still call me and ask who wrote the notes on the board and what they all mean.

It has been so devastating to both me and her, and no member of my family is doing anything to help.

My dad has gone as far as to block my mom's number from even calling to talk to him (the father of her son, and the only person she's know for 35+ years).

I am so alone in this fight and surrounded by the cruelty of my extended family.

Friends and strangers have come together to try to find all the resources we can for me to get some assistance with in-home care, but the process is not instantaneous and our situation is so dire. I'm working full-time and need help with her right away in order to be able to provide for us. I haven't even partially financially recovered from the weeks I missed work during her last several episodes.

She and I desperately need immediate help in order to stabilize this situation, and anything you can give makes a difference.

Thank you!

Hassan