On the night of November 7th I was sleeping at home and my daughter Trinity came into my room because she couldn't sleep.  The wind was howling and tree branches were slapping up against the side of the house. We eventually cuddled in together and fell asleep. The following morning we woke and commenced our usual routine, breakfast, tea, shower and getting ready for school. When we emerged from the house, we could see a giant plume rising from the ridge behind us, I just calmly told Trinity to get in the car so I could take her to town (a 30 minute car ride) and dropped her off at school. 

       Once trinity was safely at school, I raced back up the hill to try and gather some things. Unfortunately the road was closed by law enforcement. EMERGENCY PERSONNEL ONLY,  read a sign on the highway. I turned around, defeated and hurriedly began calling my neighbors and family to ask if they would grab a few important items from my house, which they were able to do. My next move was to go to the next town over where I own a rental property to try and grab my tools that are a vital part of my business.  I figured I might as well get what I can get. When I got to the house in Paradise,  the sky had grown brown, grey and black with an occasional reddish-orange flicker...Lorin, the renter was gone.  Instead his girlfriend, 4 dogs, 3 year old baby and brother in law were there gathering their things and planning to just start walking out. 

         My friend Eric joined me to help grab tools, instead he helped me pick up Lorin's family, who was stuck outside of town (After we arrived in Paradise, the road in was closed, so Lorin was locked out.)  After getting the dogs, the baby, the kid and the girlfriend into the car and got onto the road, quickly we realized that we were by far not the only ones scrambling out of there. Every road was snarled to a snail's pace on all lanes and sidewalks, everyone desperate to get out. We moved a mile in 44 minutes.  All the while I somehow managed to remain calm and collected even as the fire was now upon us, houses on both sides burning, a bank on fire a fast food place.  People were starting to push through traffic, taking any route that opened up.  In desperation, some people abandoned their cars and started running. The fire was getting hotter and soon everything around us was in flames and it was starting to get hot inside the car.  We crept on still going 5-10 miles an hour. After about 2 and half hours and only 3-5 miles, traffic finally broke free and quickened the pace. It was eerily quiet as we observed burning cars and houses, a car in the middle of the road with all the doors open and no one in sight. Just as we came out of the hellfire I could see my next door neighbors truck, who left 10 minutes before me, on the side of the road engulfed in flames, the Cal-Fire helicopter swooping in to drop retardant, cars pulled over with the tires on fire.  Till finally, blue sky and daylight!

        I owned 2 houses that burned in the fire, I had also just closed escrow on a new piece of raw land and I had my tractor over there pushing out a clearing for a herb and tea farm. The insurance had lapsed before the fire came through, i let it go because of a disagreement I had with the company about  hiking the rates.  Besides, I thought, fire season is over anyway and I’ll have have time to shop around and get a better arrangement with a new company. Because of this, I have blamed myself for being irresponsible and abused myself with alcohol, been through depression these last few months.  An outpouring of family and friends have been here to support  and yet a few more sent gift cards and even money to paypal.  And for this I have been so grateful and humbled. 

     My challenge now, is to rebuild my business, pay down my three mortgages, get back to work and come back to my Sheng Zhen practice often, to nourish myself and move forward with life. The fire took everything I worked for and built over the last 15 years.  But my spirits remain strong when it counts and I have a renewed desire to drop into my truth and not take for granted the many blessings this life has to offer, carry on with love in my heart and trust in heaven and nature.

       The $15,000 will pay one year of mortgage on the burned property as well pay for a chainsaw to clean the dead trees.