ARNDT Needing Help (OR Help Zach Stay with Mom)

We are the Arndt Family, and I am Zachary Arndt.

As of this past Saturday, we are short one member in our multi-generational household.

Steven Richard Arndt finished his fight with Parkinson's on March 12, 2022.

He is survived by his wife, Susan, and sons, Tim and myself, and his grandson, Christopher.

We are not the type of family to sit on our laurels and ask for handouts, but I'm not sure I know a better scenario.

We are raising funds so that I can stay at home as much as possible to help my Mother. Beyond the obvious grief in these sad moments, we focus on something that has to take center stage; Susan has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.

In June of 2021, I took off work for an undetermined amount of time to care for my Dad. In December, the state finally agreed and approved of me being his full-time caregiver. This didn't amount to much income for me, but it was enough to stay at home and care for his final wishes for the next couple of years, barely enough to make ends meet, but it got me right there: RIGHT WHERE I NEEDED TO BE!

We had hoped this would be a long-term plan; with multiple years of medication minding and a good amount of physical help, Mom and I thought we'd be able to team up to help all of Dad's needs. And for a very short while, we were successful.

At the onset of the new year, we were on track for further physical therapy and started interviewing adult day centers with Dad. Then Steve took a turn for the worse around the first of February. It didn't take very long, but a quick deterioration of his mental and physical capabilities quickly took its toll on him. He succumbed graciously on that Saturday afternoon.

Around the same time, end of January/beginning of February, my Mother was diagnosed with a life-changing disease. Despite staying on top of all her medical check-ups, the doctors had found the spread of cancer through multiple parts of Susan's body.

After 17 years of caregiving for Steve, I was supposed to step in and be her support for Dad. Instead, I am now helping her care for her own life. At times she calls it "policing," but the truth is she needs help staying on top of meds, eating food, and feeling great about life. We do our best to keep in good humor about things.

We all moved in as a family a little less than a year ago. Susan has a daughter-in-law, Adriana, who cares for her happiness only second to my son's; Christopher just turned five and lost his live-in grandfather a little more than a week later.

If you look at it in our Arndt terms, we sound like quite the mess.

The truth is we are doing precisely what we promised each other we would do. I promised my Mom I'd take care of her when "she got old" and needed me. I told my Dad I'd be there to care for him as much as possible. My Mom promised my Dad she'd take care of him. Knowing all of this, My Wife said she'd marry me some twelve plus years ago.

In confession, I did not expect, nor prepare, for all of this to come at once. It could be fate, one of those romantic tales we all thrilled about when reading. It could be a coincidence, just as pure as life can provide. It could be love; they were married for some 47 years...

At this point, the mission is simple. Can we keep me at home, with Susan, to care for her and, most importantly, ENJOY life with her while she continues this fight for herself?

Help me, please, from my humblest of hearts. My mom needs care. Any given day is good, but the opposite is also true; we are quickly learning that IVs and the Cancer Center are becoming ways of life. I want to take her there and be here for her when she's home, give her dinner when she's hungry, facilitate her happiness with her friends and family as much as possible. Anything you'd have to contribute would undoubtedly help.

The state was on pace to pay me about $30,000 a year to care for Steve, but there is nothing they do in my Mom's current scenario.

I guess we are starting with the goal of 6 months of me being able to fight by her side, just to offset house payments and my lack of income generation. If we were lucky enough to hit these goals, a trip to Disneyland is on her shortlist of to-dos, and I'd love to continue to stay home to support her.

If life were different, we'd perhaps ask to start a small college fund in Christopher's name on behalf of my Dad or something simple. My Dad wanted more than anything to make sure Susan, my mom, was cared for.

I am a proud son. I'm proud of my parents and how they've raised me. I love them both. I always will.

We want to get there, but we need your positive energy, good wishes, prayers, and love just to get through any of this.

Sincerely,

Zachary Arndt

Proud Husband to Adriana

Proud Father to Christopher

Proud Son of Susan and Steven