Hi everyone! My name is Yasemin, & I just recently graduated from Brooklyn Law School. I was raised by immigrants in south Brooklyn, love my home borough with all my heart, and want nothing more than to stay here and serve my community. I want to work in youth justice/public defense, and I committed my law school career to public interest law.
I thought finishing law school would be the hardest part, but it turns out the hardest part is paying for a bar prep course, doing hours a day of bar prep, getting your bar exam pushed back to September, having to move out of your apartment and somehow find a new one, with no income, little to no prospect of getting hired any time soon, having no quiet, stable place to live and study, all in the midst of a global pandemic and civil uprising. Who knew?
I have to move out of my apartment by August 1st, right in the middle of our bar preparation period. I don't have a room in any parent or relative's house that I can stay in. I don't know what I'd do with all my stuff if I stayed on someone's couch, or how I'd organize a quiet and consistent place to study. I am trying to avoid that at all costs. However, unfortunately, because of everything that is going on, folks aren't really hiring. I made it through all the rounds of hiring at the organization I want to work at, but the decision estimate went from April, to June, to we are on pause right now. So in other words, I have to move but I have no income. I am applying to fellowships and additional jobs, and hoping to have an offer by the fall. But in the time being, it would be ideal to find a temporary sublet somewhere in New York where I can have my own room, some quiet, a wifi connection, and place to put my belongings.
I also have to pay for the rest of my bar prep program. Bar prep programs cost upwards of $4,000, as if we didn't pay enough in law school tuition. I got the company to put me on a payment plan which bought me some time but I have to make payments in July and August. I've already spent $350 registering for the bar, another $100 fee TO USE MY OWN LAPTOP, and also had to pay to take the MPRE and NYLE. As of yet, I do not know where I will be taking the bar exam, so will likely need to figure out a hotel situation for the 2-day exam as well.
I feel nauseated or develop a migraine, or have a panic attack, or cry for any or no reason at all, at some point, at least every day. It is no secret that I am anti-standardized testing. I have been for a very long time. But this situation goes way beyond my usual rejection of standardized testing. Aside from the bar exam being entirely unnecessary, racist, ableist, classist, etc. administering it in person (or at all) during a global pandemic is unthinkable. WHEN I get through this, I vow to spend any extra time and brain power I have on working towards abolishing this pricey, evil, gatekeeping mechanism.
I've gone back and forth with myself (and my therapist) about this for months, and now, in light of everything big and bad going on in the world, I feel even more insecure about asking for help than I previously did. I have to believe that asking for the help I need is not selfish, and does not diminish any other cause that deserves attention and support.
I know that most people I am in community with do not have much to spare by way of money, and I would never ever hold it against anyone for not being able to help out financially. I do just ask that if you are comfortable doing so, to please share.
Even though I can seem very bitter and often very mad at the world, the truth is I love people. I love people, and I believe in people power. I have already had so many friends offer couches, donate study materials, and call to see how I'm doing. There is so much love in my world, sometimes I can't even believe it.
In solidarity,
Yasemin Akturk, J. D.
I thought finishing law school would be the hardest part, but it turns out the hardest part is paying for a bar prep course, doing hours a day of bar prep, getting your bar exam pushed back to September, having to move out of your apartment and somehow find a new one, with no income, little to no prospect of getting hired any time soon, having no quiet, stable place to live and study, all in the midst of a global pandemic and civil uprising. Who knew?
I have to move out of my apartment by August 1st, right in the middle of our bar preparation period. I don't have a room in any parent or relative's house that I can stay in. I don't know what I'd do with all my stuff if I stayed on someone's couch, or how I'd organize a quiet and consistent place to study. I am trying to avoid that at all costs. However, unfortunately, because of everything that is going on, folks aren't really hiring. I made it through all the rounds of hiring at the organization I want to work at, but the decision estimate went from April, to June, to we are on pause right now. So in other words, I have to move but I have no income. I am applying to fellowships and additional jobs, and hoping to have an offer by the fall. But in the time being, it would be ideal to find a temporary sublet somewhere in New York where I can have my own room, some quiet, a wifi connection, and place to put my belongings.
I also have to pay for the rest of my bar prep program. Bar prep programs cost upwards of $4,000, as if we didn't pay enough in law school tuition. I got the company to put me on a payment plan which bought me some time but I have to make payments in July and August. I've already spent $350 registering for the bar, another $100 fee TO USE MY OWN LAPTOP, and also had to pay to take the MPRE and NYLE. As of yet, I do not know where I will be taking the bar exam, so will likely need to figure out a hotel situation for the 2-day exam as well.
I feel nauseated or develop a migraine, or have a panic attack, or cry for any or no reason at all, at some point, at least every day. It is no secret that I am anti-standardized testing. I have been for a very long time. But this situation goes way beyond my usual rejection of standardized testing. Aside from the bar exam being entirely unnecessary, racist, ableist, classist, etc. administering it in person (or at all) during a global pandemic is unthinkable. WHEN I get through this, I vow to spend any extra time and brain power I have on working towards abolishing this pricey, evil, gatekeeping mechanism.
I've gone back and forth with myself (and my therapist) about this for months, and now, in light of everything big and bad going on in the world, I feel even more insecure about asking for help than I previously did. I have to believe that asking for the help I need is not selfish, and does not diminish any other cause that deserves attention and support.
I know that most people I am in community with do not have much to spare by way of money, and I would never ever hold it against anyone for not being able to help out financially. I do just ask that if you are comfortable doing so, to please share.
Even though I can seem very bitter and often very mad at the world, the truth is I love people. I love people, and I believe in people power. I have already had so many friends offer couches, donate study materials, and call to see how I'm doing. There is so much love in my world, sometimes I can't even believe it.
In solidarity,
Yasemin Akturk, J. D.