Help Yanti live to give

Hi, my name is Que-Lan and I am fundraising for my beautiful friend, Yanti. Here is her story, in her own words.

 

"I’m OK with dying. Some days I simply survive; I can do what’s needed to keep my body alive, but not much else. Due to documented medical negligence in 2018, I have since lived with 7 cardiac, 6 autoimmune, 5 respiratory, 4 neurological, 3 gastrointestinal, 2 liver & chronic kidney diseases. (And a real partridge in a pear tree in Perth!)

 

I’m not OK with my husband, 5-time Paralympic champion & humanitarian, grieving a completely unnecessary death. His most difficult & heroic deeds don’t get medals. He’s sacrificed more than he has and is, repeatedly, to help keep me alive.

 

I’m not OK with my 88-year-old mother, a great preserver of Indonesian cultural heritage, burying yet another child, and she has Alzheimer’s. She’d be helpless and alone.

 

I’m not OK with our 8 rescue cats & 2 rescue dogs being orphaned.

 

I’m not OK.

 

Paid work, I’ve done since I was 8 years old in 1984, the same year Kingsley swam his first Paralympics at age 16.

 

We met doing the Bali Ocean Swim 10K in 2013. The fellow who won was already married, so I pursued Kingsley as a consolation prize. In his defense, he claims he had gastro issues and was in a weakened state to be pounced on.

 

We were young(er) and healthy. Athletes. Professionals. Business owners. Savings, credit, debt-free. Had some holdings and valuables. He had Medicare in Australia; I had top-shelf health insurance covering me worldwide & in sport. We worked, hired humans, rescued animals, focused most of all on service to those who didn’t have the above.

 

Then 2018. It started as a simple sinus infection. Then cough. Gasping for air. Broken ribs, fighting to breathe. Doctors won’t treat me. I. CAN’T. BREATHE. Emergency Room 1 – discharge. ER 2 – no metrics, no exam, no tests – discharge. ER 3 – thrown out of. ER 4 – brought by ambulance, dumped straight into chair in waiting room. All documented. Including that I was at emergency low oxygen levels & rocketing blood pressure. Coughing & vomiting blood. Untreated, even a simple infection can spread everywhere. It takes over, causes damage, steals the oxygen you need to breathe, and lack of oxygen damages every system & structure. That is what happened to me.

 

I survived. It’s been 4 years.

 

What I can’t do is fight my global insurance company on a line-item basis (but we still pay ‘em monthly). Managing all those conditions (far more not listed) with the many medications and treatments required is a whole lot of lines. Inevitable complications and acute crises; lines, more lines. Sudden severe cascading infections generate lines like the bacteria multiplying. And every line demands a dollar that sometimes we can squeeze from insurance but much more often not.

 

We managed, sort of, for 4 years. With a lot of help from our friends, especially in 2019 when I was finally able to access help in Singapore. In the following years, at various times, I had to learn to swallow & breathe correctly after so much dysfunction; I learned how to walk, even ride a bike again, and SWIM. We were able to manage the health crises.

We're  now hit with a multifactorial one that we can’t. I’ve never stopped working, even at my sickest, supporting a multi-species multi-generational family, and now I can’t. It started as a simple infection that wouldn’t go away, that worsened, that antibiotics were thrown at, but finally exploded out of my gums from a tooth. A tooth Perth wouldn't treat (closest appointment with specialist, even with my GP & dentist begging, 3 weeks away). As I was already severely ill with fatigue and high fever, we decided to get me out to Singapore ASAP. The maxillofacial surgeon described it as a massive infection involving other teeth and beyond into gums, bone, sinuses.

 

The spreading infections means not just a series of extensive oral surgeries but sinus involvement, respiratory medicine, cardiology, ophthalmology (it’s affecting my vision) … and insurance won’t pay because it all started as 'dental' and they only cover basic preventative, not emergency dental.

 

We are asking for $39,000. It is a lot. It all goes to paying health professionals keeping me alive, and housing that's kept to the barest minimum possible while I convalesce. The teeth alone in Perth would be $23,000 (but I certainly wouldn't have lasted 3 weeks).

 

Please help us. It’s not so much about living or dying, though I will die without these critical treatments and medications. It’s about the others we will lift up as you give me the chance to live - with love & gratitude."

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This is what I have to say about Yanti (and I am matching all contributions to $5000):

“Yanti’s soul is something I have rarely seen shine as brightly in my half-century+ on this planet. The younger sister of my high school classmate, she was a cute and perky child with a razor-sharp intelligence and an all-encompassing sweetness that radiated all around her. We rekindled our friendship as adults many decades later. Yanti has experienced a lifetime of heartbreak and loss; her father, brother, and close cousin are the latest just in her family. She has stepped up to the plate to care for her ailing mother, and to continue to extend her friendship and unconditional love to all regardless of their color, creed, orientation or age. Because that is who Yanti is. She loves those in need (and not in need). She helps those she can reach regardless of what it costs her. So to watch her be rejected and scorned by the medical community that supposedly swore to save lives and help the sick is revolting to me in every way. Yanti’s entourage has done wonders to help her survive surgeries and conditions that would have killed anyone less resilient. But she needs our help again, because each year that passes is another one where she finds herself faced with more medical challenges and frankly scary prognoses. Yanti's goal is to persist, to improve so she can resume more work and continue to help those around her who need her. I pledge to match all contributions up to $5000, to help Yanti and Kingsley breathe easier and get back on their feet. Help me help them.” ~Que-Lan Engels

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This is another friend's plea:

“Before I could remember, I was befriended by Yanti. It happened through her Mutti, one of the moms in the German women's club in Jakarta, Indonesia in the '70s & '80s. It was called die Brücke, or the Bridge, and it connected families & cultures brought together through the unique & often challenging circumstances of living overseas in an underdeveloped nation. Things were no longer so challenging. We had community. Friends. Families connected to each other & their new home, in ways that not many in the globe could understand, if not part of that life. Like her mother, Yanti lived a life of service to others through medical teaching, coaching, and a form of open-hearted ministry that leaves room for everyone. She's no saint, but she's quite pure of heart, teaching us through her quest for mercy & justice for others, while holding little hope for herself. This has been increasingly true these last few years. The thing about Yanti that lives beneath my very skin is that she quite simply never turned her back on me. Despite not having seen each other in person in over 25 years, she faithfully kept our connection & memories alive. She writes about me in her journal, prays for my family, and maintains active real estate in her head and heart for me and mine. She thinks about me. It's all I ever really wanted from a friend or family. That I'm memorable in a kindly way to be in someone's thoughts, the way they are in mine. She genuinely cares. Now Yanti needs us to care. Through medical negligence, she's come to impossible circumstances where survival is mostly unlikely, yet she somehow holds on, bolstered maybe only by love. But she needs more than that to live and breathe. With multiple organ failure and disease states too numerous to be able to list, her medical needs and expenses, even with insurance, far exceed her ability to pay. Her and Kingsley, her blind husband, suffer daily, unable to get the help they need. He's been traumatized by the abuse they’ve received in the hands of those who are sworn to do no harm, and by the horrors he's lived unable to help keep his beloved alive and out of pain. The negligence that led to Yanti's deterioration persists in continued denial of care, and she and Kingsley must make difficult and expensive choices, which include being separated for weeks or months, flying during a pandemic while severely immune compromised to a country where she's able to receive treatments and surgical intervention she needs to live. And the money for all this is finite. The day quickly approaches where they just can't afford to keep Yanti alive any longer. That's why we need your help. Together, let's bridge the gap between Yanti & Kingsley and a future with her in it. Be a bridge to life. My endless thanks for your compassion." ~Kerstin Noble