Help with Hunter's mental health treatment
Donation protected
If you know Hunter, you know he is a sweet, creative, and tender-hearted boy obsessed with Ghostbusters and Legos There is also another side of Hunter. He can be aggressive, violent, over-emotional, and out of control. We have dealt with these two sides of Hunter since he was an infant. Many people, even professionals, that have not witnessed his explosiveness, do believe he is capable of these outbursts. Hunter's behavior has caused our immediate family to experience a lot of trauma. It has damaged relationships, especially Hunter's relationship with his sister. I have lost friendships out of embarrassment and the stress of not know how Hunter will react in public. Many people think he is just not disciplined and that I am a bad mom. It is easier for us to stay home in our own bubble.
I have a file at least 3 inches thick of assessment from different specialists trying to figure out what is going on. Hunter cried CONSTANTLY as an infant. It was horrible. He was nursing, crying, or sleeping (in my arms). He never self soothed or entertained himself. I was told that boys just cry more and that he would grow out of it. Then he learned to scream.
He was speech delayed, so we did speech therapy. He refused to eat ANYTHING, so we did feeding therapy. He lacked fine motor skills, so we did occupational therapy. He did play therapy for over a year. I took him to see the neurologist for the first time around the same time. They did an MRI and a genetic blood test. Both tests were "unremarkable". I'm thinking, I guess this is his temperament.
He started daycare and would cry the entire day. I hated leaving him, but I didn't have a choice. We tried a different daycare, and he still cried a lot and then started biting and being difficult. I dreaded picking him up at the end of the day because I didn't want to hear all the horrible things he had done during the day.
I tried sticker charts, reward charts, picture cards for expectations, picture checklists - NOTHING worked. I tried spankings and all that did was make it worse, every time. Then I would get mad because he didn't seem to understand why he got a spanking in the first place. He lost privileges or toys and had to earn them back. He didn't care; out of sight, out of mind.
When getting ready to go back to school one year, I called the daycare to get him registered again. I was told they didn't have room for him. It very well may have been the truth, but in my mind, I knew they just didn't want to deal with him. The sad thing is, I completely understood. I had to scramble and find him a placement. He got into the school district's inclusion pre-k.
I took Hunter to see a psychologist to test for ADHD. The psychologist suggested I have him tested for autism. Sure, no problem, whatever it takes, was my thinking. She diagnosed him with ADHD, ok, I can get him some meds and this will fix everything! No, it didn't fix anything really, and we've tried just about every medication available.
She also diagnosed him with autism. Ok, maybe that is what's going on. I bring all this to the school district seeking help because I NEEDED it badly. They took the ADHD diagnosis right away, no problem with that at all. They disagreed with the autism diagnosis, so it's not included in his paperwork. Fine. I did almost 3 months of ABA therapy. It did nothing but drain my bank account. So, he probably doesn't have autism.
Now he's in kinder and things are GREAT! He has an amazing teacher, then she's gone and they have sub after sub. It was stressful for me and him. They tried and I know for a fact at least one of them is an AMAZING teacher that has experience with special kids. Hunter wasn't having it. We are changing medications frequently trying to find something that works. He's in therapy once a week. Nothing is working.
First grade comes and he has the absolute BEST teacher! She's beyond amazing with him. He's engaged, learning, and his behavior is great... at school. He saves his outbursts and anger for home. I'll take it. I'll let him beat me up, so he doesn't hurt his friends. That lasts only so long. His anger shows up at school and it's baffling for the teacher. We talk and may he's having seizures because it is like the flip of a switch. Back to neuro we go. No seizures.
We are referred to a neurological psychologist. Maybe this person can figure this out? It is 2 full days of testing and observation. It comes back ADHD and inconclusive. He may develop schizophrenia later, but he's too young to diagnose. That waste of time cost me several pretty pennies.
School decides we need something more. They do more testing and come with Emotional Disturbance, unspecified emotional issues. Ok. They do everything they can to accommodate and help him. They bend over backward to help him. It doesn't work. COVID hits and we are at home. I can deal with it all day and all night. We just stay home. We suffer in silence.
Second grade starts. Hunter is about to be eight. He has another amazing teacher that is so calm and patient. She works hard to make him feel accepted and knows his limits. It doesn't matter. By this time I am being physically abused by my own son. He bites, scratches, kicks, and rakes his nails down my arms and chest. Ok. Again, I can deal with it. I'd rather be the one getting hurt than his sister, a classmate, or his teacher. Then it starts happening at school. My classroom is right across from his classroom. We set boundaries and that helps a little. A coworker suggests a mood stabilizer. I ask his Dr and she says sure. We start it and it HELPS. I want to cry because I am no longer being hurt by my son.
We trudge along great for a good while. A few issues here and there, but not like before. Then it gets bad again. I can't find an in-person therapist. Doctors just want to add, take away, or change meds. I'm worried he's going to be suspended or expelled from school. I get a bad, BAD, report every day. EVERY DAY. They had to clear the classroom. He had to be restrained. He destroyed a Chromebook. He threatened to kill himself. He screamed curse words at everyone and anyone. He made a list of classmates that he wanted to hurt.
We wind up in the Children's ER in Plano. I told them we were in crisis and that Hunter might be suicidal. By now, he's bebopping all over and doesn't have a care in the world. I didn't think they would believe me. They take us to a bare "safe room". There's nothing in there but a bed. We wait a long time. It is determined he is not suicidal but would benefit from outpatient service. We get a referral to a place called Elevate Healthcare. We go home. I set up an intake appointment the next day.
It was heartbreaking to hear him talk about how much he hates himself and wishes he was dead. He explained that he tries to be good, but his brain tells him to do bad things. Elevate accepts him! He starts Monday. He's been there half a day, every day for a week so far. We had our first family session.
I go in thinking they are going to tell me how I'm a bad parent, but they don't. The counselor says, "We have a preliminary diagnosis. Would you like to hear what it is?" Ummm, YES! Hunter has Mood Regulation Disorder, along with ADHD, and they agree with the autism diagnosis. This is the first time I have heard of Mood Regulation Disorder, but it describes everything he is. Every mood or emotion is felt at max. It is all or nothing for him. There is no in-between emotion. Good news, it is treating with lots and lots of therapy. Bad news, it can be a precursor for other emotional issues as an adult.
I feel so thankful to have found a place where he can go and get the treatment he so desperately needs. Unfortunately, this place is very expensive. I make too much for financial assistance and not enough to have savings to pay this extra expense. Payment for his first week will be due Monday, May 24th. I have no idea how I am going to pay. Insurance will only 80% after I meet my deductible of $6000. Any amount that you can give is appreciated more than you know. Thank you for reading Hunter's story.
I have a file at least 3 inches thick of assessment from different specialists trying to figure out what is going on. Hunter cried CONSTANTLY as an infant. It was horrible. He was nursing, crying, or sleeping (in my arms). He never self soothed or entertained himself. I was told that boys just cry more and that he would grow out of it. Then he learned to scream.
He was speech delayed, so we did speech therapy. He refused to eat ANYTHING, so we did feeding therapy. He lacked fine motor skills, so we did occupational therapy. He did play therapy for over a year. I took him to see the neurologist for the first time around the same time. They did an MRI and a genetic blood test. Both tests were "unremarkable". I'm thinking, I guess this is his temperament.
He started daycare and would cry the entire day. I hated leaving him, but I didn't have a choice. We tried a different daycare, and he still cried a lot and then started biting and being difficult. I dreaded picking him up at the end of the day because I didn't want to hear all the horrible things he had done during the day.
I tried sticker charts, reward charts, picture cards for expectations, picture checklists - NOTHING worked. I tried spankings and all that did was make it worse, every time. Then I would get mad because he didn't seem to understand why he got a spanking in the first place. He lost privileges or toys and had to earn them back. He didn't care; out of sight, out of mind.
When getting ready to go back to school one year, I called the daycare to get him registered again. I was told they didn't have room for him. It very well may have been the truth, but in my mind, I knew they just didn't want to deal with him. The sad thing is, I completely understood. I had to scramble and find him a placement. He got into the school district's inclusion pre-k.
I took Hunter to see a psychologist to test for ADHD. The psychologist suggested I have him tested for autism. Sure, no problem, whatever it takes, was my thinking. She diagnosed him with ADHD, ok, I can get him some meds and this will fix everything! No, it didn't fix anything really, and we've tried just about every medication available.
She also diagnosed him with autism. Ok, maybe that is what's going on. I bring all this to the school district seeking help because I NEEDED it badly. They took the ADHD diagnosis right away, no problem with that at all. They disagreed with the autism diagnosis, so it's not included in his paperwork. Fine. I did almost 3 months of ABA therapy. It did nothing but drain my bank account. So, he probably doesn't have autism.
Now he's in kinder and things are GREAT! He has an amazing teacher, then she's gone and they have sub after sub. It was stressful for me and him. They tried and I know for a fact at least one of them is an AMAZING teacher that has experience with special kids. Hunter wasn't having it. We are changing medications frequently trying to find something that works. He's in therapy once a week. Nothing is working.
First grade comes and he has the absolute BEST teacher! She's beyond amazing with him. He's engaged, learning, and his behavior is great... at school. He saves his outbursts and anger for home. I'll take it. I'll let him beat me up, so he doesn't hurt his friends. That lasts only so long. His anger shows up at school and it's baffling for the teacher. We talk and may he's having seizures because it is like the flip of a switch. Back to neuro we go. No seizures.
We are referred to a neurological psychologist. Maybe this person can figure this out? It is 2 full days of testing and observation. It comes back ADHD and inconclusive. He may develop schizophrenia later, but he's too young to diagnose. That waste of time cost me several pretty pennies.
School decides we need something more. They do more testing and come with Emotional Disturbance, unspecified emotional issues. Ok. They do everything they can to accommodate and help him. They bend over backward to help him. It doesn't work. COVID hits and we are at home. I can deal with it all day and all night. We just stay home. We suffer in silence.
Second grade starts. Hunter is about to be eight. He has another amazing teacher that is so calm and patient. She works hard to make him feel accepted and knows his limits. It doesn't matter. By this time I am being physically abused by my own son. He bites, scratches, kicks, and rakes his nails down my arms and chest. Ok. Again, I can deal with it. I'd rather be the one getting hurt than his sister, a classmate, or his teacher. Then it starts happening at school. My classroom is right across from his classroom. We set boundaries and that helps a little. A coworker suggests a mood stabilizer. I ask his Dr and she says sure. We start it and it HELPS. I want to cry because I am no longer being hurt by my son.
We trudge along great for a good while. A few issues here and there, but not like before. Then it gets bad again. I can't find an in-person therapist. Doctors just want to add, take away, or change meds. I'm worried he's going to be suspended or expelled from school. I get a bad, BAD, report every day. EVERY DAY. They had to clear the classroom. He had to be restrained. He destroyed a Chromebook. He threatened to kill himself. He screamed curse words at everyone and anyone. He made a list of classmates that he wanted to hurt.
We wind up in the Children's ER in Plano. I told them we were in crisis and that Hunter might be suicidal. By now, he's bebopping all over and doesn't have a care in the world. I didn't think they would believe me. They take us to a bare "safe room". There's nothing in there but a bed. We wait a long time. It is determined he is not suicidal but would benefit from outpatient service. We get a referral to a place called Elevate Healthcare. We go home. I set up an intake appointment the next day.
It was heartbreaking to hear him talk about how much he hates himself and wishes he was dead. He explained that he tries to be good, but his brain tells him to do bad things. Elevate accepts him! He starts Monday. He's been there half a day, every day for a week so far. We had our first family session.
I go in thinking they are going to tell me how I'm a bad parent, but they don't. The counselor says, "We have a preliminary diagnosis. Would you like to hear what it is?" Ummm, YES! Hunter has Mood Regulation Disorder, along with ADHD, and they agree with the autism diagnosis. This is the first time I have heard of Mood Regulation Disorder, but it describes everything he is. Every mood or emotion is felt at max. It is all or nothing for him. There is no in-between emotion. Good news, it is treating with lots and lots of therapy. Bad news, it can be a precursor for other emotional issues as an adult.
I feel so thankful to have found a place where he can go and get the treatment he so desperately needs. Unfortunately, this place is very expensive. I make too much for financial assistance and not enough to have savings to pay this extra expense. Payment for his first week will be due Monday, May 24th. I have no idea how I am going to pay. Insurance will only 80% after I meet my deductible of $6000. Any amount that you can give is appreciated more than you know. Thank you for reading Hunter's story.
Organizer
Jessica Benitez
Organizer
Garland, TX