salutations, madamns and gentledudes:
it is i, william, the creator of this raiser of funds.
it has come to my attention that while all of my fellow young, fully-developed, adult peers have been operating automobiles as their means of transportation, i have still been utilizing an unmotorized quad-wheeled plane (known colloquially as a “s k a t e b o a r d”) as my only vehicular method of travel (besides my bipedalism; known colloquially as “l e g s” or “w a l k i n g”)
therefore, henceforth, and in turn, i am thus and for that reason requesting for thy assistance for this gargantuan, astronomical, and extremely significant predicament.
COVID? irrelevant. global warming? not cool enough. BARBIE JEEP FOR WILLIAM? PRIORITY. NUMBER. ONE.
With this Barbie Jeep, not only would I be able to travel to class efficiently (at a maximum speed of ZOOMZOOMKACHOW 5 MILES PER HOUR), but I will also be able to do so with elegance, style, and immense universal sexual appeal.
Pictured here in this photo is a glimpse of what an ideal and utopian world would look like:
And YOU can make it happen.
I am counting on YOU. BARBIE is counting on YOU. THE WORLD is counting on YOU.
AND TOGETHER, WE CAN ALL HAVE BARBIE JEEPS!
It all starts here.
DISCLAIMER: this vehicle may or may not be of a Disney Princess theme instead, depending on what Target has in-stock.
DISCLAIMER 2: those are infants' torsos; image not to scale (I only have ONE body and it is much longer and spicier than those pictured).
DISCLAIMER 3: The amount we wanna hit is actually $420.69 but GoFundMe won't let me put decimals >:(
it is i, william, the creator of this raiser of funds.
it has come to my attention that while all of my fellow young, fully-developed, adult peers have been operating automobiles as their means of transportation, i have still been utilizing an unmotorized quad-wheeled plane (known colloquially as a “s k a t e b o a r d”) as my only vehicular method of travel (besides my bipedalism; known colloquially as “l e g s” or “w a l k i n g”)
therefore, henceforth, and in turn, i am thus and for that reason requesting for thy assistance for this gargantuan, astronomical, and extremely significant predicament.
COVID? irrelevant. global warming? not cool enough. BARBIE JEEP FOR WILLIAM? PRIORITY. NUMBER. ONE.
With this Barbie Jeep, not only would I be able to travel to class efficiently (at a maximum speed of ZOOMZOOMKACHOW 5 MILES PER HOUR), but I will also be able to do so with elegance, style, and immense universal sexual appeal.
Pictured here in this photo is a glimpse of what an ideal and utopian world would look like:
And YOU can make it happen.
I am counting on YOU. BARBIE is counting on YOU. THE WORLD is counting on YOU.
AND TOGETHER, WE CAN ALL HAVE BARBIE JEEPS!
It all starts here.
DISCLAIMER: this vehicle may or may not be of a Disney Princess theme instead, depending on what Target has in-stock.
DISCLAIMER 2: those are infants' torsos; image not to scale (I only have ONE body and it is much longer and spicier than those pictured).
DISCLAIMER 3: The amount we wanna hit is actually $420.69 but GoFundMe won't let me put decimals >:(