Need help to save our home and pay medical bills

I am Valerie M, widow of Marine Corp Sgt. Kelly M Jr. We were married 42 years and four months. As many have heard me say, we had a wonderful, blessed life, some described as perfect, to which I reply, “Not perfect but well worth living. I would gladly do many more!”

Having been blessed with things to make it possible, Kelly could do early retirement at 62 years instead of 67. We had worked hard and paid our debts off responsibly. Though things were tight, we decided to enjoy time together; making Kelly’s “Katie Calls” turkey calls and being outdoors on the property we were leasing was indeed a gift from God. We had no idea that on our 42nd wedding anniversary, Kelly would be diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer from Agent Orange and his tour in Vietnam, where he was awarded the Medal of Valor. Extremely aggressive, even with 15 double radiation treatments and two different types of chemotherapy in 4 months: on the first day of spring, March 20, 2017, God called my Marine home to his ultimate duty station: guarding heaven’s gate.

Kelly was my life; I couldn’t have children. Our favorite song from Alabama was “She and I lived in our own little world." We had worked together 21 of our 42+ years, and it would have been much longer if I had not had to retire two weeks after my 50th birthday from what we would later find out was Oromandibular and Spastic dystonia. I had lost the love of my life, and nothing prepares you for becoming a widow four months from a diagnosis. I praised God for his mercy for Kelly having such a short hard-fought battle. I prayed for guidance and tried hard to stay Joshua1:9 strong and courageous, something we strived to do in all the ups and downs during our 42 years.

I failed in my faith. I didn’t stay Joshua 1:9 strong. I took an overdose of pills on June 1, 2017 (Kelly’s birthday) in heaven. I spent nine days in rehab and learned I had harmed more people than I could have imagined. It’s the same as when Kelly was gone; the ones left behind suffer, but their suffering is much worse because they’re left wondering what they could have done to prevent losing you. Death from a deadly disease is complicated but losing someone from suicide has no answers. I learned to cherish my life and became more assertive with our Joshua 1:9 verse. God puts you where you can get answers, but you have to open your heart to accept the places that he leads you to learn a better way to get through life’s struggles.

With a stronger Joshua 1:9, I moved forward. God opens more doors; I find in the Fall of 2018 after becoming deeper and deeper in debt from my medical bills piling up from the dystonia and Barrett’s esophagus treatments. I am so grateful that I was pre-cancerous with Barrett’s, but the EGD's every 90 days are expensive, and the RX Dexilant was extremely expensive, so much so that my insurance company denied it several times. I was blessed that my primary care and GI doctors both received samples that we were able to take every other day until insurance would reauthorize. The day I found out in November of 2018 that I was eligible for ChampVA and that I could, with a mountain of paperwork, file claims dating back to March 20, 2017, when Kelly died. I was overwhelmed with relief and thanked God more and more for never leaving me, staying Joshua 1:9 strong and courageous because God is always with you.

God’s actual intervention is more blessings and eligible for Chapter 35 VA Educational benefits. I registered for college in 12/2018 for a graphic design certificate which will hopefully enable me to learn how to publish Kelly’s short stories, “Turkey Soup with A Dash of Deer Seasoning,” along with 12 years of journals he had logged while on our adventures in God wonderful outdoors. I say God’s intervention before my first day, the graphic design certificate program is canceled. No what?? Okay, Lord, if this is where I am supposed to be headed…. Yes, it must be; Professor G does a substitution of classes that has to be submitted to VA Chapter 35 Education for approval. APPROVED, thank you, Lord. My FGC career began in January 2019. Professor G follows me through Spring and Summer classes; then, I begin classes she teaches for Graphic Design. God’s intervention starts as she follows me through the subsequent semesters. In the Spring of 2021, after I started having health issues, my dystonia worsened and spread into my feet and ankles, my migraines were getting worse, and I was missing more and more classes. After many Dr. visits and counseling sessions, we decided if I had to extend past Spring 2021 graduation, that would be the game plan. After many, many hours of tutoring and open lab time, I was able to graduate on time. At 67 years old, I discovered that I loved learning; this was the most exciting thing to happen to me in a long time.

OK, let's continue this Jeremiah 29:11 pathway, Digital media AS is put in front of me. Spring 2023 for BIG GRADUATION! Not to be, in Fall 2021, my health took a downward spiral; the dystonia got so painful that I spent several days off of my feet and either in the recliner or the bed. My classes are subjects requiring lab time, plus I had an online Quantitative Literacy Math class that was the worst thing I ever came across. I had made it through arithmetic and algebra with A’s. Hadn’t been in math class for 52 years, so I couldn’t understand why even with all the extra hours of tutoring, I couldn’t do this!! Withdrawing was the only option to at least salvage the other class in the Fall of 21. Registering for Quantitative Literacy in Spring of 22.

Start Spring 22 after winter break; maybe things wouldn’t be bad. Wrong. Started having more issues with dystonia, and my neurologist confirmed dystonia was spreading. I was so discouraged kept trying to do the classes. I again missed many days in the classroom, and the online quantitative literacy eluded me. DEVASTATED! I withdrew for the second time, concentrating on my other classes.

Here come’s God’s intervention again. Professor G saw the deterioration of my health as I was with her in the classroom four days per week. She more or less insisted that I see an internal medicine doctor, which happened in March 2022. The doctor ordered a bunch of bloodwork and urine samples. While waiting for the results of these tests, I lost 15 pounds. The dystonia attacks on my feet and ankles got more severe. The distortions are extremely excruciating and sometimes last for hours. My neurologist had me take pictures of these contortions to confirm that the dystonia was spreading. In the first week of May, we get urine results that I have high levels of aluminum poisoning, gasoline by-product poisoning, diethyl phthalates poisoning and then learn that I’m infected with Aspergillus Ochratoxin, a mold.

How? Where? Why can this be happening? I eat healthily, I don’t drink or party, up to last year I had been walking almost 3 miles per day, which is now down to 1.3. Either way, I have been doing everything possible to stay healthy. The doctor put me on 90 days of detox for the poisoning, and I am ordered to move out of our home. I am scared, broken-hearted and wondering what in the world is going to take place. Prayers are being sent by myself and more family and extended families; I am overwhelmed with the response. I AM BLESSED!!

Struggling with spring classes, moving out of our home (our home since 2004, Kelly’s gone five years, please Lord, I don’t want to lose our house) and dystonia so painful that I am walking on spikes. My twin sister Verna has turned her whole home upside down to accommodate me and the belongings I was able to remove from our home.

The testing was costly and not covered under our insurance because it is considered homeopathic at $587.00. The OTC meds cost $361.10, well water testing $490.00, the hotel $788.48, and the dumpster cost $400. Yes, a 20-yard dumpster in our front yard now contains what seems like half of our lifetime thrown away. I was blessed to have several dear friends (my extended family members) support me emotionally and physically in throwing things away. The air quality mold test was $665.00, which confirmed the Aspergillus Ochratoxin A mold to be off the charts; no wonder my results were so high. Mold remediation protocol is required. SERVPRO is contacted; they come and assess for mold removal, and their initial assessment is over $15,000.00!! Half of which is due when they start; now, my savings are depleted.

God opened several doors; I filled out paperwork with the community block grant program but didn’t qualify. Going to FGC on a Chapter 35 VA educational scholarship means I make too much money. SHIPP program for our County doesn’t do repairs on mobile homes, and we are still waiting on results from the field adjuster for insurance; our structural engineer’s inspection was done on 6/5/22.

Guess all this overwhelmed my system on 5/18/22; I barely made it into my primary care emergency appointment. My bp was very low, and my heart rate was elevated. The right side of my head above my ear was painful, my feet and ankles hurt, and I was having chest pain. After an EKG, they called an ambulance, and I was transported to the ER. After IV’s, CTs and several more EKGs, it was determined that I had a severe full-blown panic attack. Never in my life had I ever been in that situation; however, I have never been in the process of not knowing if I would lose our home, have deteriorating health conditions, and be worried about my education. Then, add $15,000 plus another $550 for air quality testing before we can get an estimate for what repair will cost.

I am staying Joshua 1:9 strong and courageous on my Jeremiah 29:11 pathway that God has sent me down. I am doing something I never thought I would do in my life. A dear friend said it looks like we need to do a GOFUNDME PAGE. I wasn’t receptive to the idea at first. But, she said you have gone down all the avenues for assistance that have presented themselves, and you need to ask for help. So, here I am, asking for help. Anything you can afford to donate to help me to get back into Kelly’s and my home. I am truly grateful for all the prayers I have received since Kelly’s passing in March 2017, and I hope they continue so I can move back into our home. A great friend of ours, Butch, said when he looks up perseverance, he sees me coming through so many difficult phases since Kelly’s passing. Sharing my Joshua 1:9 faith of staying strong and courageous. Brother Butch, I will continue this Jeremiah 29:11 path because I know that God’s got a reason to put me on this path. I say God bless each of us as we journey on our own pathways. Stay strong and courageous.