Help us reunite with birth mother in Chile

Some of you may know that my older brother and I were adopted. We were born 13 months apart and adopted from the same family in Santiago, Chile. As we grew up, our Caucasian parents made sure we understood why we didn’t look like them. They lovingly explained to us the meaning of adoption and passed along all the information they had.

We always knew we were adopted. Our adoption papers stated our birthmother lived in poverty and gave us up willingly. They claimed she didn’t have the resources to maintain care for us and our birth father wasn’t around for support. So, it makes sense, I get it. I trust the system. I had already accepted the loving family that showed me so much of life. I will always refer to them as my mom and dad. Remembering back to my early high school years, we tried to find our biological family. My mom hired a private detective who had contacts in Chile but was unable to find any information as the official records were sealed by the government. The adoption agency told my mom something along the lines of “Leave the past in the past, your kids are happy with you. There is no need to investigate the past.” We were also instructed to write a letter to our biological mother about our lives up until that point. We couldn’t do it, I couldn’t do it, really! You try and sit down and write your life story as a moody teenager. We moved on with life as a family.

July 13th, 2023, my mom sent out an email to my older brother and me stating for several years she has been researching Chilean adoptions. She had read some more recent news articles about illegal adoptions and recognized the adoption agency’s name they used (The American Adoption Agency). She was alarmed when the actual social worker they used in the adoption process had been arrested. Her files were seized and officials discovered she played a key role in the “irregular” adoptions. 206 cases were linked to our adoption agency. Whoa, what?? Red flag!!!

Her email also mentioned being in contact with Tyler Graf, president/CEO of the nonprofit organization Connecting Roots. They help reunite Chilean adoptees with their biological families. They have support from MyHeritageDNA kits to accurately identify family members.

Now, this was a big stretch to think that we could be illegally adopted. Of course, my older brother and I wanted to proceed with knowing the truth based on everything that we know up to this point. After a few days of reflection, questions, and conversations, we gave consent to Connecting Roots to research and help us find answers if our biological family could still be alive.

Fast forward 17 days.

Friday, August 4th, I took a mini vacation to see my dad and stepmom out of state. My mom calls my dad, not knowing I am visiting. She has news I never thought would come to be true. When we were adopted, my older brother and I were each issued a RunID # (which is equivalent to a U.S. SSN). Connecting Roots processed the RunID # through some system and stated that our status was still “ACTIVE”. Meaning I am still an ACTIVE member of society IN CHILE, SOUTH AMERICA. But I’m not, I haven’t been since I was 2½ months old when I was adopted. We were in fact part of an illegal adoption scandal, and I am one of 20,000 Chilean babies that was stolen from their mother during the 1970’s through the early 1990’s under the Dictator Augusto Pinochet. His horrific human trafficking operation included nuns, doctors, judges, midwives, social workers, and law enforcement officers to name a few. If you didn’t abide by the rules and help Pinochet’s “Economic success” you were shot or imprisoned. If my adoption was legitimate and truthful, my status would be INACTIVE and erased, noting that we left Chile for another country. But stolen?! How? Why? Is this really happening to me? I must be dreaming. I was at a loss for words, and it was a struggle to know such heavy news, especially since my husband wasn’t with me on my little get away.

Saturday, August 5th, not even a full day after finding out that we were stolen as babies, Connecting Roots was able to track down our biological mother with info from our paperwork and that she is STILL ALIVE! The news is coming in so quickly, I get overloaded with emotions. After all these years, we are finally getting answers! On to the next step in this journey, Connecting Roots has mailed my brother and I each a MyHeritageDNA kit to confirm the DNA. This will help us know the truth: Is my biological mother alive? Is my biological father alive? Do we have siblings?

Thursday, August 10th, MyHeritageDNA kits arrived! I eagerly opened it up and administered the cheek swabs, boxed it all up, shipped it off. Yay! One step closer to knowing the truth!

Sunday, August 27th, Connecting Roots has a team in Chile and was able to visit her and give her the news that we were alive and that we wanted to track her down. She told Connecting Roots that we died at birth and that no bodies were provided to her. She never got to hold us at the hospital, let alone give us our names. Connecting Roots issued the same DNA kit to her, so in 4-6 weeks, we will know 100% if she is our birth mother. Our DNA results were also mentioned to us in this email. Results states that my brother and I share the same mother, but different fathers. All my life, I thought my older brother was my full blood brother but in fact, we are half brother and sister. Finding out details on our fathers has been a bit more challenging. We did receive two photos of our supposed biological mother, Sara. Oh goodness, she looks just like me!

Friday, October 20th, nearly two excruciatingly long months later, DNA results are in, and Sara is my biological mother! I knew in my heart that she was our birth mother, but we had to be certain. It has been a wild journey with a lot of information at once. We didn’t want to be let down if the results weren’t what we were expecting.

Friday, October 27th, one week later, we finally got our login info from Connecting Roots to sign into MyHeritageDNA to see the official results. I have 31 people in my extended family (mainly 3rd cousins) and over 2,100 distant relatives spanning across the World. The next step, Connecting Roots was able to schedule a zoom call with translators and Sara for Sunday, November 12th at 7:30pm EST, 9:30pm in Chile with time-zone differences and daylight savings adding an hour. Media consent forms should be sent to us within a few days. Holy moly this is becoming all too real!

Sunday, November 12th, the day is finally here! Working helped get me through my nerve-wracking day. I work in catering, and I had an event for 75 people with a hors d’oeuvres display and buffet station, keeping me busy and distracted my entire shift. My drive home was very emotional; filled with excitement and tears. I know I had a list of questions I was going to ask her but how will I make the conversation flow well? Am I going to freeze up? What if my brother doesn’t say anything? What am I going to wear? Should I straighten my hair? When I got home, my husband had the house ready for our big zoom call reunion. He bought me a Chilean flag to hang behind me, made empanadas and we opened a bottle of Chilean wine for dinner. My mom and stepdad were coming over too after going out for an anniversary dinner. I couldn’t sit still before the call, and I had to step outside a few times because I was getting hot. Overall, I thought the zoom call went well. Very emotional and uneasy at first but it got a bit easier as it went along. The call started on time, but it took Sara and a few other translators with her 10-15 minutes to join. It was wonderful to see her smile and hear her voice. She clearly felt a connection with us and enjoyed seeing our childhood photos and hearing about our current lives. She was able to meet my husband and lit up knowing that we are chefs; she loves to eat BBQ! She met her 2 grandchildren from my older brother. We found out that we have a brother and sister in Chile. The call was over 2.5 hours because of the language barrier and getting the translation over. Connecting Roots was generous enough to give us a year subscription to Babbel to help us learn Spanish. We all downloaded WhatsApp and are in communication with Sara. I’ve exchanged love messages to her and shown her some daily photos of my life! I’m overwhelmed with joy and my heart has never been so full!

In February, Connecting Roots is going to be traveling to Chile with other adoptees to reconnect them with their families. I feel that the time is now to see her and physically hold her for the first time in my life. February in Chile is going to be great weather as it’s end of summer for them. I have always dreamed about going back and it’s always been my #1 bucket list item: Travel to Chile with older brother. I wish there was a way the Chilean government would pay for this trip since they are involved in this scandal. It’s frustrating to know that I’ve lost 39 years of creating memories of what my life could have been in Chile, but I love the life I’ve lived thus far. I am starting a GoFundMe for my brother and I to travel to Chile with Connecting Roots and reunite with our birth mother. The GoFundMe will help pay for airfare, transportation, and hotel for my brother and myself. This will also help bring awareness to adoptees who were blindsided like we were.

GoFundMe

This is where I humbly ask for your support. Your contribution, no matter the size, will help us turn this dream into a reality. Your generosity will directly fund this memorable experience and will leave a lasting mark on our lives.

I’d like to thank Connecting Roots for their efforts in helping us find the truth and being able to reconnect with our birth mother. It is because of nonprofits like them, Nos Buscamos and Hijos y Madres del Silencio who are working to help us Chilean adoptees reunite with our families with the use of the MyHeritageDNA kits. To my mom who raised me: You have given us an amazing gift of reconnecting with our roots and did nothing but love us and protect us along the way. I love you for everything you have done to help us! We couldn’t have done it without you!

Here are a few ways you can help:

Financial Contributions: Any amount, whether small or large, will make a significant impact and bring us closer to our goal.

Sharing our Campaign: If you're unable to contribute financially, sharing our fundraiser with your network would mean the world to us. Your support in spreading the word about our adoption will help reach more people who may be able to assist.

Words of Encouragement: Your moral support and words of encouragement mean just as much as a monetary gift. Your belief in our journey truly motivates us to continue striving.

We are committed to making the most of this opportunity, not just for myself but also to share my experiences with all of you. I plan to document our journey through photos and stories to express my gratitude and share the impact of your support.

Thank you for taking the time to read about our story!