Help Us Recover After the Sudden Loss of My Mom

Hi, my name is Lillyan, and I’m reaching out for help during one of the hardest times in my life.

My mom passed away unexpectedly, and the past week has been incredibly emotional and overwhelming. My grandmother and I have been thrown into emotional and financial chaos. We've been handling everything on our own—cleaning out her apartment, sorting through her belongings, and trying to grieve while managing everything else. While I did have someone help with moving things this past weekend, it was only for a short time, and we still have so much left to do. That’s why I’m reaching out for additional support.

My mom passed away alone in her apartment under difficult and unclear circumstances. We still don’t know exactly what happened, and by the time we found her, it had already been over a day. The room was warm—she still had the heat on and no air conditioning—so her body had begun to deteriorate quickly. Because of that, and because we couldn’t afford embalming, there was no way to have a proper viewing or say goodbye one last time. That’s something I’m currently struggling coming to terms with.

My grandmother walked into something no mother should ever have to see. I chose not to view my mother based on the funeral director’s advice. But even now, walking into her apartment is overwhelming—not only because of all the memories but also because it still carries the smell of death. Going in to clean and sort through her things for many hours a day has been deeply emotional and, honestly, traumatizing. It's something I wouldn’t wish on anyone—but we’re doing it, because it’s the last thing we can do for her.

We're still going in every day—cleaning, sorting, doing what we can. My mom struggled with her mental health, and the space reflects that. I’m sure anyone who has ever struggled with their mental health can understand that. She was living in difficult conditions, and the apartment has been extremely hard to clean. It's been emotionally overwhelming, physically exhausting, and financially draining. It's taken a toll.

This is something my grandma and I have been doing together, and while she sees it as one last thing she can do for her daughter, it’s been incredibly hard on both of us. On top of all that, we’re on a strict deadline—we were given only two weeks to clear everything out. My mother passed away last Saturday, so now we have only five days left. Everything has to be done by May 3rd. If it’s not, there is a $850 fee if we need extra time.

Normally, I wouldn’t ask for help—I never do. But I decided to make this GoFundMe because the help and kindness of anyone who donates is very much needed, and it’s the only option I have now. Right now, the weight on us has become relentless, and having the strength and support of others is greatly appreciated. As of now, my grandmother and I are both still trying to work while handling all of this, and I’m also trying to get through nursing school.

Unfortunately, we couldn’t afford a full funeral service. My mom was cremated, and even though I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye in person, we did what we could with what we had. The cost of the services we received was over $2,000—an amount my grandmother paid entirely out of pocket, which has been a heavy financial burden. She hasn’t asked for help, but I know that she needs it right now just as much as I do. I’ve done everything I can to support her and help, but I haven’t had any income for over a week. My bills are starting to pile up because I had to take time off work to help with everything. With rent, bills, and daily expenses piling up, it’s been really hard to stay afloat.

We’re not just grieving—we’re struggling to get through each day. I’m not here to place blame or criticize anyone—grief affects people in different ways. But right now, it’s just my grandma and me doing everything, and we could use a little extra support.

I’m asking for help to:

1. Cover my lost income and essential bills.

2. Support my grandmother in recovering some of the cremation service costs.

3. Pay for cleanup, supplies, transportation, and basic needs while we handle this transition.

4. Continue helping my grandma with remaining tasks.

5. Ease some of the pressure during this incredibly difficult time.

My mom was someone who deeply valued caring for others. Earlier in life, she worked as an LPN—a path I plan to follow, as I’m currently in nursing school. Later, she became a flight attendant—two roles that allowed her to connect with people and explore the world.

She had a gentle spirit, a love for travel, and though she faced many struggles, she never lost her kindness. Even when she was struggling, she always found a way to help others. She loved to explore; as kids, we spent a lot of time at the beach and visiting new places for fun. Even when life got hard, my mother carried a quiet strength.

She struggled with mental and medical issues for many years—including a rare condition called Hypokalemic periodic paralysis, which made life even more difficult—but she always found the strength to keep going. We miss her deeply.

Even a small donation helps more than you know. If you're not able to donate, sharing this fundraiser means the world to us as well.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and thank you for your support during this incredibly difficult time.